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2004-01-21 English Moms

Posted: 21 Jan 2004, 10:35
by hallucienate
NAMING THE FATHER FOR CHILD SUPPORT - ENGLAND

The following are all replies that British women have put on Child
Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details:
These are genuine excerpts from the forms.

01. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was
fathered
by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child
B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

02. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I
was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I
can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if
this helps.

03. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with
a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father can you send me his
phone number? Thanks.

04. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He
drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door
panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if
he's had it replaced.

05. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the
Pope
confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is
Christ risen again.

06. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me
that to
do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you
and right by the country. Please advise.

07. I do not know who the father of my child was, as all squaddies
look
the same to me. I can confirm that he wore a Royal Green Jacket.

08. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with
him can
you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

09. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at
EuroDisney.
Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I
remember for
sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.
If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the
party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after
all
when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you
fart

Posted: 21 Jan 2004, 10:48
by markfiend
http://www.snopes.com/humor/lists/childsup.htm

"Last updated 5th November 2000"

:innocent:

Posted: 21 Jan 2004, 10:53
by hallucienate
trainspotter

Posted: 21 Jan 2004, 10:57
by markfiend
;D Sorry!

Posted: 22 Jan 2004, 03:24
by Black Planet
Why???
I am a professional woman.. why?:

Feck off U twit.

Posted: 22 Jan 2004, 03:40
by Mrs RicheyJames
That really is unfunny

Posted: 22 Jan 2004, 03:41
by Mrs RicheyJames
And yes I know I should have said that really wasn't funny, but it's 20 to fecking 3 in the morning and i've had nearly two bottles of wine!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 22 Jan 2004, 19:53
by James Blast
Creature of the night then SG?