Heartland

I have come to the conclusion that i definitely attract weirdos! In work this morning (work is in a hospital!) i had a guy wander into my office asking me if i could exhume the body of his wife as he was desperate for a cuddle - took about 20 minutes before i could get a word in edgeways and when i did, he asked me if i was gay cos i was wearing doc martens with a skirt! He was definitely two sarnies short of a picnic. The scarey thing is, i ended up having a full scale conversation with him, which i actually enjoyed.

Worst one to date, was in a pub in Weymouth, i was sat at a table waiting for mates when this woman came over (bout 50ish), plonked herself down next to me and asked if i wanted to meet her friends. I kind of smiled, and she took that as a yes, she pulled her sleeve up and her arm was covered in scabs - twas these that were her 'friends' apparently! She then said i looked lonely, took her shoe off and used the stiletto heel to pick off 3 scabs - gave them to me and said "there ya go love, you have my friends to keep you company now".
I haven't been to Weymouth since!

I am a weirdo but I seem to attract normies, is there any way to avoid this?

Moz Magister wrote:I am a weirdo but I seem to attract normies, is there any way to avoid this?

You dont pick scabs do you...............

Lamia wrote:In work this morning (work is in a hospital!) i had a guy wander into my office asking me if i could exhume the body of his wife as he was desperate for a cuddle...

That's the funniest damn thing I've heard all month.

Well, that is definitely weird, lamia. I would say there was an attraction going on, yes. The next question is, is it a good thing to attract weirdos or not? I have always thought yes, so long as they are not too dangerous...

Lamia wrote:(work is in a hospital!)

See, that's where you go wrong.

No, just really old men (And no, I'm NOT talking about Richey)

Sexygoth wrote:No, just really old men (And no, I'm NOT talking about Richey)

Right, and now I suppose you're gonna tell us you're not gay, either?

I'm bloody not!!!! A feel of a breast does NOT make me gay...........OK?????

Sexygoth wrote:I'm bloody not!!!! A feel of a breast does NOT make me gay...........OK?????

Yours or someone else's?

Well, in that case, I'm not gay either. Phew.

Weirdness!!! Lamia, maybe you've got one of those understanding faces. I have, and people tell me ALL their problems. I sometimes want to wear the Shut The F**k Up top.

I've never been given any scabs for friends, but I was once offered a tin of sardines to look after by some strange girl on a bus once. She was cute, but had a strange 'I'll kill you when you sleep with a rusty pair of scissors' look.

oh and some bloke offered to take me to see the waterboys!!! I tried to tell him I was butter side up, but he didn't seem to want to know!

Congrat sisx. See, nothing weird like that has happened to me. Except for drunk people saying I'm 7 feet tall. When I'm sorry but I'm just not, y'know.

snubnoseuk wrote:Congrat sisx. See, nothing weird like that has happened to me. Except for drunk people saying I'm 7 feet tall. When I'm sorry but I'm just not, y'know.

you're not hanging around the right places then

oh and before anybody asks, no I didn't go see the waterboys!

nobody ever even notice me..

hellow!?

Hello!

hey, do jou want to see my scabs?

christophe wrote:hey, do jou want to see my scabs?

EEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!









Sure.

Do they bear a resemblance to Walkers Lamb and Mint sensations?

Not shore I want to go on whit this conversation.

Oh fine, I'll just have to find someone else to play with.

Hello?

Steve303 wrote:Do they bear a resemblance to Walkers Lamb and Mint sensations?

Look, if you're going to slag Walkers Lamb and Mint sensations off, then I'll stand behind emilystrange while she gives you a good kicking.

Do you attract Weirdos?

I'd be happy to attract anyone, weirdo or not.

I have the face God gave me, it says F.O.A.D!
I have no attraction to anyone 'cept large chested Manc maidens.

Red Sunsets wrote:I have no attraction to anyone 'cept large chested Manc maidens.

You lucky b*****d.