Heartland

Yes, dear Heartlanders, it's time to sharpen your number two pencils and get down to your local voting stations, because it's your civil duty to make myheartland.co.uk a better place through passive political participation, i.e. democracy.

At this point I'm sure you're thinking, but why should I vote for CorpPunk as Heartland's new Goodwill Ambassador?

My qualifications, for those of you who haven't already seen--I mean, don't already know them, are apparent and abundant (ahem):

1. I'm nice.

2. I don't start my new job for another week so I have a lot of time on my hands and I'm kinda bored.

3. I'm completely willing to return to Leeds soley to find Eldritch and beat him mercilessly until I obtain a valid contract--signed in his blood--stating he will record and release a full album which will be available at no cost to certifiable Heartland members. What do I ask from you to complete this service? Nothing. Hell, I'd enjoy it!

4. I'm not crazy, and I'll prove it after I'm elected.

5 (and most importantly). I have never, ever foresaken Heartland for any other forum, which is far more than I can say of certain members here who shall remain nameless as I've no wish to shame my compatriots *cough*Big Si*cough*.

Vote for CorpPunk: 'I don't moderate, I mediate!'

I think there should be more options in the poll/vote. Like the ones they had in Florida.

got my vote. I gotta warm up, national elections are taking place on the 14th April!

Despotic leader if i ever saw one.... then again, America seems good at that at the moment!



Love you though Punky, and quite frankly if you want to subjugate me.... im up for a bit

you got my vote!

Paddy

what's hidden in the closet?

insider trading/ drugs/ groupies/ secret abortions/ porno flicks/ cigars...

I expect a yes to at least 33% of that before you get my vote of confidence

Yes, because you are the nicest and most beautiful girl on the forum.

I can't vote, I choose not to be on the HLs electoral roll. Mainly so RS can't find me and talk at me to death!!

Whoa--unanimous? Looks like I best be dusting off my crown...er, I mean constitution.

Oh, and might I remind everyone that as we're operating on Florida rules, all 'no' votes count as 'yes' too.

CorpPunk wrote: 5 (and most importantly). I have never, ever foresaken Heartland for any other forum, which is far more than I can say of certain members here who shall remain nameless as I've no wish to shame my compatriots *cough*Big Si*cough*.

Consider this a declaration of WAR!

...while we're waiting for the kickbacks to arrive...

Big Si wrote:

CorpPunk wrote: 5 (and most importantly). I have never, ever foresaken Heartland for any other forum, which is far more than I can say of certain members here who shall remain nameless as I've no wish to shame my compatriots *cough*Big Si*cough*.

Consider this a declaration of WAR!

Hmmmm...this is a tough one. As a Heartland civilian I'd probably enter into an all-out brawl with Si for insulting me--on my own goddamn thread no less.

But I'm a politician now, and we do things differently on this side of the ballot. We do it--more quietly. Sudden-like.










Actually, I think we all know that's not true. I'm just flexing my liar muscles, since I'll be using them more often now that I'm taking office.

YOU'RE DEAD BIG MAN!

There now. That's better.

CorpPunk wrote:

Big Si wrote:

CorpPunk wrote: 5 (and most importantly). I have never, ever foresaken Heartland for any other forum, which is far more than I can say of certain members here who shall remain nameless as I've no wish to shame my compatriots *cough*Big Si*cough*.

Consider this a declaration of WAR!

Hmmmm...this is a tough one. As a Heartland civilian I'd probably enter into an all-out brawl with Si "as I insulted him first" --on my own goddamn thread no less.

But I'm a politician now, and we do things differently on this side of the ballot. We do it--more quietly. Sudden-like.










Actually, I think we all know that's not true. I'm just flexing my liar muscles, since I'll be using them more often now that I'm taking office.

YOU'RE DEAD BIG MAN!

There now. That's better.

Bring it on Mr ICE!

Got yer tools yet?

Big Si wrote:

CorpPunk wrote: 5 (and most importantly). I have never, ever foresaken Heartland for any other forum, which is far more than I can say of certain members here who shall remain nameless as I've no wish to shame my compatriots *cough*Big Si*cough*.

...As a Heartland civilian I'd probably enter into an all-out brawl with Si "as I insulted him first" --on my own goddamn thread no less...

I really have no idea what you're talking about, but I do doubt these imagined insults can be good for your blood pressure.

CorpPunk wrote:

Big Si wrote:

CorpPunk wrote: 5 (and most importantly). I have never, ever foresaken Heartland for any other forum, which is far more than I can say of certain members here who shall remain nameless as I've no wish to shame my compatriots *cough*Big Si*cough*.

...As a Heartland civilian I'd probably enter into an all-out brawl with Si "as I insulted him first" --on my own goddamn thread no less...

I really have no idea what you're talking about, but I do doubt these imagined insults can be good for your blood pressure.

Yours must be pretty good, what with all those peanuts you've been eating!

Oh yes, and I have my tools right here:

Not that putting a hole in your head would improve your personality at all!

But I always have hope...

CorpPunk wrote:Oh yes, and I have my tools right here:

As you showed me yours, I'll show you mine!

Cool! OK, you've convinced me, and I invite you to be my Minister of Offence.

CorpPunk wrote:Cool! OK, you've convinced me, and I invite you to be my Minister of Offence.

What just like Chairman Bux?

Big Si wrote:

CorpPunk wrote:Cool! OK, you've convinced me, and I invite you to be my Minister of Offence.

What just like Chairman Bux?

I bet he'd vote for me too...if he were around.

<tumbleweed>

CorpPunk wrote:I'm completely willing.

Call me old fashioned but that sort of comment gets my vote everytime.

Right, can we declare war on http://www.themissionuk.com/ ?

Johnny Boy wrote:

CorpPunk wrote:I'm completely willing.

Call me old fashioned but that sort of comment gets my vote everytime.

Big Si wrote:Right, can we declare war on http://www.themissionuk.com/ ?

HELLZ YEAH!

'My name is CorpPunk. You killed my favourite band. Prepare to die.'