Heartland

Following his return from Gallifrey to Earth,having conquered the Daleks en route on Planet Spiridon,The DoKtor has a new m*****n.He must defeat The Evil 'Doggers'.If he does this,then Von's Cat Spiggy RIP(splatted by a Brays Bakery van outside The Chemist Shop in Kirkstall in 1981) will come back to life.
If this occurs:
1)The Sisters will burst into action & release 3 amazing new albums before Xmas;
2)Von will release a spectacular live double DVD,grow back his hair & put his big coat & Clint hat back on;and
3)The Sisters will embark on their best tour of all time & will do a 'one off' show just for Forum members at The Warehouse in Leeds.

Heartlanders-The Doktor needs your help.

What is 'Dogging' & who are the 'Doggers'?
'Dogging' is a predominantly British activity,which involves outdoor exhibitionism in car parks & woodland areas.A 'Dogger' is a voyeurist who spies on couples who are having a sh*g in the open air in a 'Dogging Location' & joins in with the fun.Swinging couples often get a thrill out of being 'Dogged'.A 'Piker' is someone who just observes & doesn't participate in the steamy al fresco activity of horizontal body surfing.
The evil men who ran Spiggy over were 'Doggers'.The Dok must find them & exterminate them to save the world & to spur Von into action.
Stan Collymore(ex Liverpool & Villa footballer who tw*tted Ulreka Johnson for downing a pint of Guiness in a French bar during The 98 World Cup)is a 'Dogger' as you may have seen in the press.
Here are some helpful links:
http://www.swingingheaven.co.uk/dogging/
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/co ... _page.html

Some interesting information:
The 'Dogging' in Yorkshire' link shows opposite Kirkstall Abbey in Leeds as a 'Dogging' Location.In 'War On Drugs' Von ''Heads on back to Kirkstall,in the shadow of the sun''.Was Von going 'Dogging'?Was /is Von a 'Dogger'?Was he corrupted by the evil Bray's Breadmen who murdered Spiggy?Is Spiggy's death suspicious?We need to get to the bottom of this.
So can you spot any Lyrical references/clues to 'Dogging' in any Sisters songs?
Is Heartland really about von's favourite 'Dogging Location' in Clacton?Is 'Train' about how he got there?
Is 'Vision Thing' about 'Piking'?
Is The Temple of Love an allusion to a 'Dogging Location' where 'The Doggers' stayed nine while nine?
Did Romeo go down on a 'Dogger' in Kirkstall?
God knows what 'Wide Receiver' might be about!

Can you help The DoKtor find 'The Doggers'?
The DoKtor is enlisting K9's help for this one,so it may be 'Dog eat Dogger'

Any helpful suggestions to assist The DoKtor,on a postcard please to above The Chemist shop
Luv
The DoKtor xx

What the Jesus Feck are you banging on about little man???

Back to bed for you.......

This surgery is now closed.

DoKtor, heal thy self.

The boy aint right peggy.....

Paddy.

@ Dockor - You are Weird - And I should know - being Weird myself.

I blame "Joanthan Ross" for th increased popularity in "Dogging"

People have been "Piking" for 30 years - since the invention of the VCR!

Surely this whole verse is about the 'dogging' experience?

"and the cars
lost in the drift
are there
and the people that drive
lost in the drift
are there
and the cares I've
lost in the drift
are there
theirs, ours,
lost in the drift
are ...
driven
driven together
and driven apart."

A massive collection of dogging fanatics (what's the collective noun for doggers?) turn up in a hillside carpark one wintry night. Heavy snow falls, and the cars and their occupants are trapped. Eventually there is a thaw, and the cars are 'driven apart.'

Gripper wrote:Surely this whole verse is about the 'dogging' experience?

"and the cars
lost in the drift
are there
and the people that drive
lost in the drift
are there
and the cares I've
lost in the drift
are there
theirs, ours,
lost in the drift
are ...
driven
driven together
and driven apart."

A massive collection of dogging fanatics (what's the collective noun for doggers?) turn up in a hillside carpark one wintry night. Heavy snow falls, and the cars and their occupants are trapped. Eventually there is a thaw, and the cars are 'driven apart.'

(what's the collective noun for doggers?) - Dogists ?

Doggies?



OMG 6Music have Muse in concert now, I think I'm going to be sick....
...only reason I tuned in was for 3 songs by the Neff, well that's my excuse.

(adopts Brummie accent)....."I don't know what you're talking about..."

The Doktor believes the forum may be waking up.
Barbara Woodhouse,Stan Collymore & a dog all on the same post.
Now,I bet that's never occured before!

Gripper wrote:(what's the collective noun for doggers?)

Since I imagine the originators of this sport camouflaged themselves with foliage in true Dads Army style, I suggest a grove of doggers.

DoKtor Spiggy wrote:opposite Kirkstall Abbey in Leeds

I feel night-time manoeuvres are called for, purely to track down the cat splatterers of course. I'll be the one in the brown mac and flat cap pretending to read the Racing Post.

Eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Actually, you look like that sort of person...............

DoKtor Spiggy wrote:The 'Dogging' in Yorkshire' link shows opposite Kirkstall Abbey in Leeds as a 'Dogging' Location.

I'm not going there after dark again! Judging by the graffiti in the gents' bogs at the Abbey itself (before the council shut them) they used to be a "cottage".

Did you see George Michael?

markfiend wrote:Judging by the graffiti in the gents' bogs at the Abbey itself (before the council shut them) they used to be a "cottage".

Didn't every public convenience of the male persuasion?

Sexygoth wrote:Actually, you look like that sort of person...............

Why do you think I got my hair cut?

The DoKtor reports:
''Weird'',''In need of healing'',''back to bed'',''not right''.........................
My friends..............................Methinks not.
These expletives apply to thee
Open up thy eyes.
Be not blinkered.
Give thy byfocal spectacles a clean.................
We live amidst a society of 'doggers'.
Thrash & Gripper appear to be the only ones who understand.......
You are all in danger of turning into clones of Barbara Woodhouse......
She of the threadbare 1960's skirt that attracted naughty dogs 'cos it smelt of their p*ss.
A forum adventure to voyeur the mysterious concept of 'dogging' and to try and catch the cat splatterers is a wicked & wonderful idea.
Now there's a top dog nite out.
We may witness an 'Orgy' of 'doggers' in action.
Or even a 'Scooby' of 'doggers' on the job.
Or even Von 'dogging' through the sodium haze

Is the park opposite Kirkstall Abbey a 'Garden of delight'?

Does anyone know where The Master is?

Love

The DoKtor

xxx

DoKtor Spiggy wrote:Is the park opposite Kirkstall Abbey a 'Garden of delight'?

I somehow doubt it. I would have thought that it's not really secluded enough. Within a few yards (or meters for our continental chums) of a main road doesn't seem viable for furtive sexual shenanigans.

Or am I missing the whole point of your thread?

The DoKtor will go on a 'piking' reconnaissance m*****n to find the Kirkstall 'dogging' sight.
Would anyone like to accompany him?

xx

DoKtor Spiggy wrote:The DoKtor will go on a 'piking' reconnaissance m*****n to find the Kirkstall 'dogging' sight.
Would anyone like to accompany him?

xx

People might misconstrue that invitation Dok

The Doktor replies:Of course,purely for investigative purposes Mark

DoKtor Spiggy wrote:The Doktor replies:Of course,purely for investigative purposes Mark

Ye-e-e-e-es. If only I believed you

DoKtor Spiggy wrote:The DoKtor will go on a 'piking' reconnaissance m*****n to find the Kirkstall 'dogging' sight.
Would anyone like to accompany him?

xx

take a walk to vesper gate. the targets on the back of their fish tails should give them away

sea devils rock too

The DoKtor replies:
I am a Time Lord not a Marmite Motorway Marine.
I conquered those evil Sea Devils(God they were scary when I was a kid!)

Love

The DoKtor

xx