6/4/04 What your name means about you

[markfiend]

Apologies if this has been done before. Find yourself if you can!

MEN'S NAMES
Aaron - ugly but hung like a horse, prone to belly button fluff.
Adam - cute, funny, chicks dig him, has the potential to be stalked.
Adrian - small todger, probably gay.
Alan - shy but sensitive, gets screwed over by women.
Alex - cute but a liar and a cheat
Alistair - head in the clouds, will go an amazing journey to find out what he wants.
Andrew - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons.
Anthony - great guy and kind to all girls, smells of wee.
Arthur - hung like a slave and celibate, keeps goldfish
Barry - lights fires, pinches girl's bottoms and is well hung.
Ben - kind hearted, will do anything for the one he loves.
Bob - a man's man, eats with his hands but good for a laugh.
Brendan - quiet and sweet, gets beaten up all the time.
Brett - worldwide slut and really insensitive, women love him.
Brian - a wanna be charmer, he's not the Messiah he's just a very, very naughty boy.
Bryan - sexy, but stupid - can't spell.
Bruce - stinks bad and thinks everyone else's name is also Bruce.
Byron - Very sexy, clever, good looking and a jolly nice bloke all round.
Cameron - Australian, like Bruce.
Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.
Chad - cute, sensitive and very studly - only found in American movies.
Charles - can't trust him, eyes too close together.
Chris - can't pull, will pay for women, but has a huge pecker and can use it too.
Christian - very sexy and seductive.
Clark - hilarious and always in trouble, problem with 'jailbait'.
Clive - very sweet and adores girls, but prefers to watch.
Craig - tries to fit in - he never does.
Dan - quiet but funny, but brain in his trousers
Daniel - enjoys root vegetables in every orifice, highly homosexual.
Darren - charming, but is fond of pissing in his parent's house.
Daryl - smells bad, has no real mates and likes computer games
David - hottie and works out a lot, loves girls named Florence. Can be gay!
Dave - extremely sexy, always funny, intelligent, stylish, trendsetter
Dean - full of himself and thinks with his dick.
Dennis - either very nice to girls or a faggot.
Derek - has a great sense of humour, and blow-up doll collection.
Dominic - hilarious and will do anything to please.
Don - dickhead.
Doug - has a drinking problem and thinks too much about his do-dah
Duncan - hopeless ski bum, brains shot away long ago.
Dylan - horny bastard, who can't sing.
Dwayne - cool guy to be around if you can handle his name.
Eddie - wants too many chicks he'll never get 'cos he's an arsehole.
Elliott - full of himself.
Eric - shy and odd fetishes
Frank - "different" - missing DNA - favours girls named Lucy.
Gareth - sweet but dresses too good to be straight.
Gary - drug addict but willing to share.
Gavin - likes bondage, S&M with other men.
Geoff - prefers golf to sex and war to peace.
George - barman who drinks more than he serves.
Glen - the sweetest guy - really down to earth.
Graham - will screw anything.
Grant - HORNY! But so sweet and you can talk to him about anything.
Greg - really sweet and feels sorry for himself.
Harry - covers his back.
Howard - likes small-breasted women and pornography.
Ian - really popular but knows all the girls want him... yeah right!
Ivor - militant psychopath with homosexual tendencies.
Jake - shy and sweet but a slut when drunk.
Jamie - tries too hard.
James - built like a horse but a bit stubborn.
Jay - very sweet when you get to know him well.
Jeff - really ugly.
Jerome - gay, but very unhappy.
Jeremy - loud and thinks that he's all that he says he is.
Jesse - unpopular and needs to move on.
Jack - stupid but hot, always alri ght.
Jim - sweet, has fantasies of love and affection.
Joe - built like a bear, sexy but tends to lose his head.
Joel - arse.
Jon - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals.
Jolyon - absolute raving homosexual.
Jonathon - loud, sex mad and great with it - can be full of himself.
Jordan - sexy but weird in bed.
Jose - hot boy with a love of hermaphrodites.
Josh - full of himself, fun.
Justin - aggravating but loveable, insecure but successful.
Kevin - always attracts really fit girlfriends also has a large do-dah.
Keith - good person to talk to when you have a problem - his is worse.
Kenneth - very, very...anything you want him to be.
Larry - cute but wannabe player with big arse.
Laurie - short and funny looking.
Lee - girl dressed up as a boy, total arse bandit.
Lewis - lonely, sad git, bit of a tosser.
Lyndon - can always be found in bed or in the pub.
Liam - loud mouthed arsehole.
Luke - seems to be sweet. bit of a tosser though.
Malcolm - tall man who tends to lose his trousers.
Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy bastard.
Martin- a sensitive lad who will eventually see right from wrong.
Matt - the fat boy of the class likes sweets and is full of s**t.
Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl.
Mike - shag muffin.
Nathan - stupid as hell, and tends to make others feel dumb.
Nick - nice -
Neil - sweet and will do anything in this world for you, great in bed.
Oliver - likes men but is in denial.
Oscar - loser.
Owen - cute gay guy who is immature, and sings Welsh songs.
Patrick - drunk, drunk, drunk.
Paul - cool, calm and handsome, a quality only found in gays.
Peter - cutie but very shy, makes women feel like virgins.
Phillip - stupid idiot who wishes he were cool.
Rhys - great lover but a traitor from Wales.
Richard - can't see his feet as his balls are too big.
Rob - best things come in small packages.
Ron- loves to play around with the car, but losing his marbles.
Ross - an adrenalin junkie who loves a good blonde/screw (male or female)
Roy - total loser and computer genius.
Rupert - arrogant twit who is crap in bed but thinks he is a stud.
Russell - likes to play in the leaves, which makes him an arsehole.
Ryan - short but sexy body and even sexier mind.
Sam - wannabe sex machine.
Scott - has serious disabilities. Also takes it up the botty.
Seamus - wants girls with big breasts to smother him.
Sean - has small testicles and no friends.
Sebastian - a smug git who thinks he's a hit with the ladies. As if!
Shane - thinks everybody wants to shag him - he's a virgin.
Shaun - bit of a hard bastard, thinks women love him.
Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Says he is the man but talks bollocks.
Spencer - loves it right up there, normally with a toilet roll and a hamster.
Steve - popular and funny & hung like a donkey.
Stuart - droll guy with great arse and suicidal tendencies but great in bed.
Ted - hairy, sensitive and great shag.
Tim - hot but a bit strange, can never tell where he is.
Toby - best blow ever.
Tom - cool but can be arrogant.
Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.
Trevor - sweet and funny but sometimes untrustworthy.
Will - wishes he were popular.

WOMEN'S NAMES
Ada - blue haired, smells of wee.
Alison - bra and pants are the same garment, looks better with the light off.
Amanda - IQ tends to be smaller than bra size. Probably a good bonk though.
Amy - devious, likes being on top, never stays the night - Not to be trusted.
Amelia- demure, a little bit of a know it all.
Andrea - small breasts, drinks pints.
Angela - Vain, hairstyle more important than oxygen. Hangs around toilets.
Anita- doesn't wear knickers.
Ann- see Anne.
Anna- knows how to use her charm and powers of persuasion with men.
Annette - she's BIG.
Anne - looks like a horse, can't drive side.
Aoife - always up for shots in the bar and flashing her bra
Barbara - shags like a rabbit and likes her drink.
Becky - Likes a good bit of rump, has lots of friends.
Belinda - pleasing on the eye, usually has a couple of good points.
Beryl - repressed alcoholic.
Beverley - trapped in an eighties timewarp.
Bianca - ginger nutter.
Bridgette - eats pizzas all day, smokes cigars.
Britney - falsely improved, no use to society.
Camilla - English totty, replaces the word 'yes' with 'ya'.
Carina - looks like the back of a bus, doesn't swallow.
Carol - into everything you've only ever read about. Coin-operated.
Caroline - into threesomes. Likes doggy style. Always up for it.
Catherine - attracted to the older man, clothes need ironing.
Claire - perfect in every way and a complete sex goddess.
Celine - emits hideous noises, waste of DNA.
Charlotte - enjoys tea and cake, farts the national anthem.
Cheryl - can fit hand in mouth, eats glass.
Cherry - only eats orange smarties and goes to the cinema (alone) on thursdays
Christina - likes men in uniform, never warm.
Daisy - virgin.
Davina - drug induced mental damage, should shave her neck.
Dawn - gets up early, smells of chips.
Deborah - dribbles on the pillow and foul tongued.
DeeDee - cannot understand why no one else masturbates in Ikea.
Denise - sits on cat's eyes, not half as sweet as she would like to be.
Diane - enjoys company of animals. Deep as a puddle. Adds nothing to society.
Donna - 70's throw back, likes cabbage.
Dorothy - purple haired, stinks of wee.
Elaine - rides sidesaddle, drinks meths.
Elizabeth - born to perform, hates chickens.
Ellie - far too attractive for the swear words that come out of her mouth.
Emily - wears odd socks, can have lesbian tendencies.
Emma - gullible and easily swayed by a good looker
Estelle - likes wombles, eats grass.
Esther - plump with sagging breasts, normally heavily tattooed.
Faith - legs meet at knees, can't shag standing up.
Faye - wears wellies, can't swim.
Felicity - she'll stab you with her nipples, lays darts
Fiona - female mud wrestler.
Gabriella - classy name for a classy lady
Gemma - practically perfect in everyway. Loved by everyone. Good listener and friend.
Geraldine - too posh for her own good, likes flying.
Gill - farts a lot and drinks guiness.
Gina - eternal mother, eats nappies.
Glenda - eats children, hates smoking.
Georgina - wants to be a china doll.
Gloria- a model of perfection.
Gwyneth - blubs a lot, wees in the bath.
Hannah - needs to be naked at all times, eats kebabs.
Heather - shags like a freight train, a screamer.
Helen - loves sleeping and alcohol and is work shy.
Heidi - the hills are alive with the sound of music, likes gherkins.
Hilary - frigid bitch. Thinks money grows on trees.
Holly - prickly to the touch, seasonal shagmeister.
Imogen - drinks tequila from the bottle, wets the bed.
Ingrid - right wing Nazi tendencies, never smiles.
Jackie - heroin addict, sold her child.
Jane - an easy ride, large gob on her.
Janet- watch out for this one, the waterworks won't rub.
Janine - the most determined and persevering sweetie in the world.
Jasmine - smells of sewers, eats the heads off rats.
Jemima- daddy's girl from London.
Jennifer - huge breasts, should shave her legs more often.
Jessica - virgin, always will be.
Jo - very active, listens to the radio in her car a lot.
Joanne - moans in her sleep, cant cook, moans when she wakes up!
Jodie - absolutely perfect in every way, every group of friends should have one!
Judith - big eyes, big tits.
Judy - huge tits, married to an arse.
Julia - innocent face and a model of serenity.
Justine - massive tits, likes hanging around men's toilets.
Julie - Jabba the Hutt's sister, constantly pregnant.
Karen - huge tits, shags like a rabbit.
Katie - big feet, likes the sensation of acorns and grass.
Kate - can be quite a shrew and needs to be tamed by a gentleman
Kimberley- average girl from the local comp school with a loud mouth..
Lara - action packed, never seen naked.
Laura - likes Max power magazine, can't drive.
Lauren - pert breasts, seldom ventures out at night unless there is a bloke involved
Leah - likes outdoor sex, wees standing up.
Leslie - likes bondage, hates men.
Linda - likes fish and chips and knows more than she lets on
Lindsay - likes doggy style, doesn't do housework.
Lisa - will take all your money and run, gets turned on by porn.
Liz - intelligent and motherly
Lorraine - constantly whinges, will strip for a packet of jellybabies.
Louise - real babe, bright too, I'd drink her bath water.
Lucy - strange dancer, very sweet
Madeline - drives like a bloke, likes tractors.
Maggie - trainspotter, likes plaid.
Margaret - lovely mother, very generous and makes time for herself
Maria - bangs like a barn door.
Marie - life's slapper. Likes men to do DIY.
Marina - no get up and go, rusty underwear.
Marilyn - eats like a horse, out stays her welcome.
Martine - can't act, can't sing, nice tits.
Matilda - European, hairy armpits
Meg - an enchantress with a witchy streak who likes to seduce hairy men with her magical charms.
Melanie - can hold two bar vacuum orally indefinitely.
Melissa - such an poser
Meryl - dances like an ape, doesn't realise.
Michaela - likes animals, should make a video with them.
Michelle - wears white stilettos, dances round her handbag but is a good friend to Taurians
Miriam - goes down a lot, often gets sore throats.
Monica - doesn't swallow, should have.
Naomi - wannabe diva, more of a diver.
Nancy - white hair, remembers manners.
Natalie - eats with her mouth open, farts the Nokia phone tune.
Natasha - had seven kids before age 17, needs ironing.
Nell - hasn't realised WWII has ended, lives in Kent.
Nicola - slapper, alcoholic in denial.
Nina - stuffs her bra with tissues, been single for years.
Olga - you can park a bike in her arsecrack, excessive facial hair.
Olivia - neutron bomb.
Pamela - enjoys summer camp holidays on the grotty coast
Patricia - quite the lady, no one will ever realise her wisdom until she leaves the room.
Penelope - pit stop queen, likes men to be stiff.
Phillippa - very upper class but sweet
Priscilla - likes painting with oils, Duckhams mainly.
Rachel - amazing gravity defying breasts, can grip a tenner in her arsecheeks.
Rebecca - hairy armpits, orgasms without contact.
Rita - popular with all the guys but still searching for that special someone.
Rosie - can be prickly and fickle
Rula - she measures up well.
Sadie - stand up if you're slim, please stand up.
Sally - drives a Mustang, fights in pubs.
Samantha - loves her brother, has four deformed children.
Sandra - secretary who is after her boss.
Sarah - hangs around with the wrong crowd, Kinky in bed, loves porn.
Selina - doesn't wear pants, heavy laundry bills
Sharon - shags like a locomotive, yo-yo knickers.
Shirley - can swallow a Curly Whirly whole, likes bananas.
Sian - does mean sheep impression, hates mint sauce.
Simone - used to be a shot putter from Cardiff.
Sonya - dirty lady of the night. Often referred to as a carrier.
Sophie - brothel madam, wears a wrinkly corset.
Stacey - likes cut off jeans and arseless Speedo's.
Stephanie - wears dungarees and enjoys a laugh with the lads.
Sue - totally gorgeous!
Tanya - hot minx, too short.
Tara - upper class slapper, needs extra chemicals.
Tina - face like a smacked arse, should eat less.
Tori - lives in a hedge, can't water ski.
Tracy - easily swayed by alcohol. Mostly seen without underwear. Loves kittens.
Ursula - likes puppies, in curry.
Vicky- likes Yoga and Men.
Wendy - possibly a man.
Zoë - talentless rock chick from up north.

[markfiend]

Mark - wished girls liked him for who he is not his great looks, mouthy bastard.

No comment

[Quiff Boy]

well, i'm happy enough with that

[hallucienate]

I'm not on the list, my middle name is, but that's so far off the mark it's not even worth noting

[Loki]

Jon - has no friends or life - tends to kill small animals

Thank god I've got a 'h' in mine so the first part of the description is totally invalid. The second part was an accident.

[Loki]

And there's gonna be a lot of male weeders on here with the same name smiling ...

[Big Si]

Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Says he is the man but talks bollocks.

I demand a 2nd opinion

And as for El Presidente's

[Black Planet]

Not on the list.

But mine when translated from the latin means Andrew's Love Goddess.

[Loki]

And as for El Presidente's

Priceless!

[mh]

"Michael - very good looking but he'll do anything for a girl."

Blow me down!!! It works!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[CorpPunk]

Simon - likes a night out with the lads and curries. Says he is the man but talks bollocks.

I demand a 2nd opinion

And as for El Presidente's

I can't breathe--that is just too f*ckin' funny.

[markfiend]

Carl - thinks he's funny...he's not, falls asleep during sex.

WTF?

[Hojyuu-obi]

Well at least I'm cool , but don't know if I'm arrogant though

[James Blast]

James - built like a horse but a bit stubborn. The word 'hung' is missing mf, where do you get this rubbish?

Disgusted, Glasgow

[Quiff Boy]

"Andrew - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons."

hmmmm

http://www.thesistersofmercy.com/gen/ww ... tm#viewsae

Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave
Urotsukidoji, and any raucous anime, with the sound off (baaad dubbing)
...
The Simpsons
Roadrunner (the cartoon)
South Park

[Black Planet]

James - built like a horse but a bit stubborn. The word 'hung' is missing mf, where do you get this rubbish?

More info than we needed to know Barman Blast....

[James Blast]

What's wrong with a stubborn horse, hung, BeeP?

[Black Planet]

I cant' reply in public to that question Barman Blast.

[James Blast]

It's all 'game' meat in my book sorry QB.
Some of my tastiest dining out pleasures have been pigeon breass and haunch of venison. Love to try pheasant or any other 'game' bird someday... must try coney too.

to each, their own

[Andy TG]

"Andrew - usually short and very horny, watches cartoons."

hmmmm

http://www.thesistersofmercy.com/gen/ww ... tm#viewsae

Wallace and Gromit: A Close Shave
Urotsukidoji, and any raucous anime, with the sound off (baaad dubbing)
...
The Simpsons
Roadrunner (the cartoon)
South Park

On the other hand - speaking for myself

Short - NO (6'5"!)
Very Horny - Always !
Watches Cartoons - NO I watch "Animations" and very fast moving "Computer Graphics"

[James Blast]

very fast moving "Computer Graphics"

I'm still waving at trains, tell me it's an age thing.
PLEASE!

[Loki]

Arsenal 1-2 Chelsea

[Black Planet]

You Again?????

How much did you have to drink JB?

[6FeetOver]

Dagnabbit! Neither my first nor my middle name is listed!

Oh, wait - maybe that's a good thing!

[LostInNotts]

Tony - hot, sweet, and totally fun to be around.

Dude!

For the record I am a Tony not Anthony (I'm not just avoiding my namesakes wee based description!)

If only It was a legally binding description, to be used whenever my names used - even if its on crimewatch