Heartland

Is there any law that prohibits the killing of estate agents? I'm currently at the bottom of a six-property chain to buy a flat (my first time, I'm a bit nervous) and it's driving me nuts.

The first completion date I had was six weeks ago, but was pulled at the 11th hour (not that anyone told me or my solicitors officially, you understand). We were told there was a further four-week delay.

Six weeks on, still waiting.

What exactly is it that all the hundreds of people who get paid to interfere with this transaction actually do? From what I can see it involves sitting on their lardy backsides counting my money and not answering my phone calls.

Much seething going on here. I need a date, ideally before I go to Moscow next month.

They are an absolute waste of space, as are solicitors.
We've just taken our house off the market cos I'm sick of dealing with such fcukwits.

Think they should use the Scottish system - seems towork better?

andymackem wrote:Is there any law that prohibits the killing of estate agents? I'm currently at the bottom of a six-property chain to buy a flat (my first time, I'm a bit nervous) and it's driving me nuts.

.

Those chains have got to be a nightmare.

Luckily both times we bought a house, the sellers were moving into a brand new house, so there was no chain as such.

I have a friend who was due to move a couple of years ago, on Christmas eve. He had everything packed in boxes the day before, removal lorry booked etc. Then he got a call saying it's all off, as someone in the chain had decided they didn't want to move before Christmas!

In my experience, estate agents do fnck all, but then that's because they have fnck all to do. The conveyancing is the key. If this one's an idiot as well, you're doomed. If possible, try and get a woman for both. They're much better at shouting at people.

I fear the problems lie further up the chain, which suggests I'm doomed whatever happens.

Hey ho. Back to bitterness, I guess.

I can't wait to experience all of this. Although at the moment I'm going through the 'car insurance claim' experience. Mmmmmmm

A Jock speaks-
The 'chain' system, to me, smacks of some freemason like, arcane order.

Karst wrote:Think they should use the Scottish system - seems towork better?

What is the Scottish system?

Martin

snubnoseuk wrote:I can't wait to experience all of this. Although at the moment I'm going through the 'car insurance claim' experience. Mmmmmmm

I've been through that one already, great fun isnt it! not...

Petseri wrote:What is the Scottish system?

You see a house you like, you get it surveyed, if it has a good survey, you put in an offer. At the closing date for offers, highest bidder wins.
Gazumping is not allowed, by law, in Scotland.
We still have the Not Proven Verdict tho.

We only get it right sometimes.

Ach! well, sometimes is better than never.

You'd better ask some of our Southern Sistern about The Chain?

James

Don't get me started on car insurance ....

How does the Scottish system get round the fact that when someone sells a house they cannot move on until they have somewhere to go to?

That's how my chain has built up - we're all waiting on person or persons unknown to get off their arse(s) and get their solicitors busy.

The answer to this may be screamingly obvious - I'm a bit drunk and have been laughing at Newcastle's defence all night.

The no gazumping thing sounds good, though so far I've not had any trouble with that and don't anticipate it now. My only reservation is that surveys are quite expensive, and the thought of making three or four surveys before putting in unsuccessful offers is not attractive. I assume there's no compensation for a survey which doesn't lead to a purchase?

andymackem wrote:How does the Scottish system get round the fact that when someone sells a house they cannot move on until they have somewhere to go to?

Not up here Andy.

Personal experience#1
Saw an hoose, got favourable survey, bid, Won!
Took a month to sell the auld hoose at a decent price.

Personal experience#2
The Bridging Loan for that month was not crippling, like I'd heard.
£85, this was 8 years ago, mind.

This appeared in the Wolvo express and star some years ago:-

for your reference there is an old byelaw in Hereford that allows you to kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral.....the law has never been scrapped and is legally binding even to this day....(2001)

And the reason I share this gem???

There HAS to be a byelaw covering the sellers and traders of dwellings in old english law that allows for the Termination of the lowest form of life (second only to accountants) - the Damned Estate Agent....

while your waiting in your chain...use google...go search...

Search and Destroy!!!!!!!

doktor wolf wrote:kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral

Please don't let Andy see this.

Red Sunsets wrote:

doktor wolf wrote:kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral

Please don't let Andy see this.

Too late. MWAHAHAHAHA.

I'm reminded of a similar byelaw concerning Scots in York, if they are within the city walls. Sadly you have to be a "son of York born" before you can get away with it, and I'm not.

As for lowest form of life, that may stretch a point slightly. But then again, I work in Basildon, which could open up a whole new realm of sub-life.

Does anyone else get the impression I'm a filthy mood this week?

andymackem wrote:

Red Sunsets wrote:

doktor wolf wrote:kill a welshman ONLY with a bow and arrow ONLY on a sunday, and ONLY in the cloisters of Hereford Cathedral

Please don't let Andy see this.

Too late. MWAHAHAHAHA.

I'm reminded of a similar byelaw concerning Scots in York, if they are within the city walls. Sadly you have to be a "son of York born" before you can get away with it, and I'm not.

As for lowest form of life, that may stretch a point slightly. But then again, I work in Basildon, which could open up a whole new realm of sub-life.

Does anyone else get the impression I'm a filthy mood this week?

I think he meant AndyTheGoth who is a Welshman.

I realised that almost as soon as I posted, but I'm too idle to edit. Ho hum.

No harm done.

andymackem wrote:I'm reminded of a similar byelaw concerning Scots in York, if they are within the city walls.

That was voted for by British Rail travellers during the 80s when the only beer their buffet carriages stocked was tins of McEwans.

Thrash Harry wrote: buffet carriages stocked was tins of McEwans.

Whiiit!
nae Scruttochs Olde Diridgable, with the bits of beak and twig in?