Heartland

hope we can all get on the same page with this one. don't want to drop the ball or throw the baby out of the pram.

we're all singing off the same hymn sheet here right

anyone with similar phrases their bosses spout

maybe we could revive bull s h it bingo

"wriggle room"

I used to have a boss who insisted on saying 'had oc' instead of 'ad hoc'. Having studied Latin to A level, you can imagine how much that grated.

Thrash Harry wrote:I used to have a boss who insisted on saying 'had oc' instead of 'ad hoc'.

smells a bit fishy to me

Well it is Friday.

Thrash Harry wrote:Well it is Friday.

spoken like a good catholic boy

Are you stalking me or am I under surveillance now?

Thrash Harry wrote:Are you stalking me or am I under surveillance now?

did you want either of those things?

emilystrange wrote:did you want either of those things?

No. He's not butch enough for me.

*sigh* i'll have to do it then....

You're definitely not butch enough.

its a disguise...

You mean you're really Danny DeVito?

YOUR coat is next to johnny boy's. see armageddon thread.

emilystrange wrote:YOUR coat is next to johnny boy's. see armageddon thread.

And we'll be taking them to the Smurphs gig on 27th June, while you're sliding around in the mud @ Glastonbury. Hotel with outdoor hot tub indeed!

i am honestly NOT going to glastonbury. i can't.

Touching base
Networking (Networking!!!!? They mean talking don't they?)
Wash up session - that'll be a discussion then. Hey, talking again!

There are loads more. There's an email going around with them.

I hate "touching base"!

I had a meeting with a manager last week who suggested that we should "take the helicopter view"

Some time ago my then-manager made excuses for another manager being so busy, as she apparently had "a lot of fingers in a lot of pies". (To prove I can give as good as I get, I suggested that to help out we should "pick up the pie and run with it, no matter how many fingers were in it". )

My boss says "The thing is is that". I hate that. And sometimes he doesn't stop at one extra "is". I've heard "The thing is is, is that..."

That and "quality time". He even writes it in his emails. And he spells it in a stupid way. "I'm going up to spend some kwality time with the IT department".

This is what I get for working in a marketing department, I suppose. Christ on a rope.

Blue sky thinking.

Outside the box.

Core product values. Unique selling point. Both prone to being redefined.

Stakeholder consultation process (thank you Essex Police press office).

Or, from my new deputy editor last week: "The sports desk doesn't seem to value inter-departmental soundboarding, does it Andy?"

My last instance of "inter-departmental soundboarding" ended in my deputy editor asking me why I was writing about West Ham looking for promotion to the Premiership when she'd always thought they were a Premiership team. That's the quality of soundboard I should value more highly, then.

My Cretin Boss' faves all end in 'able' -
• work round-able (she jests, surely)
• meet-able (no, really)
• compliant-able (WTF!)
• achievable (that's a real word, FFS! What were you, thinking)?

BUT my bete noir is

Do-able!!!!

When she says that, I just want to jag her in the eye.

another lol thread

i also get "i'm busy setting out the pieces on my chess board" and "this is a game with all snakes and no ladders"

Love 'em. Funny and infuriating at the same time.

paint it black wrote:"this is a game with all snakes and no ladders"

Oooh! I quite like that one. Sums up in-house software development perfectly.

Thrash Harry wrote:

paint it black wrote:"this is a game with all snakes and no ladders"

Oooh! I quite like that one. Sums up in-house software development perfectly.

Hmmm reminds me of something Lernout & Hauspie tried a couple of years ago.
They had this new translation computer, FAHQTUT.
They fed the next sentence to the comp:
"The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak"
They translated this to russian and back to english.
The result:
"The liquor is easy but the meat is spoiled".

Har. Har.
Hooray for FAHQTUT.


IZ.