Heartland

Like a thief in the night (stealing her own things) or maybe a ragtag Santa Claus, my recently-deported ex-housemate stopped by about three o'clock this morning and left two gifts with my other housemate, A. One for A., and one for me. As I was leaving for work, A. gave me a ring box with my initials on it; I opened it to find a mood ring* that proved too small for all my fingers save the pinky--for which it is, of course, too big. As I was loathe to let such a lovely present go unworn, I slipped the Hand of God pendant off the chain around my neck (it had become too tarnished from sucking all the evil out of my soul to wear anyway), and hung the ring on it instead. The ring has stayed a solid, dark, and very fetching shade of navy ever since.**

At first I noticed nothing amiss--perhaps my self-denunciations had become a little more fervent, and slightly louder, than usual, but not so much as to make me question it. As the day wore on, I began muttering 'fat hobbitses' under my breath while stroking the ring between my thumb and forefinger, and I once threatened to gouge my boss's eyes out when she complimented its beauty. I feel as if this is the way things should be, have always been, will always be, but I can't help wondering...

Should I be worried?






*You know, changes color with body heat.

**Actually it turned violet while I wrote this. Should that be Heartland's official color?? Maybe this place just turns me on.

You been on the mushrooms again then, hen?

Ain't America grand!

You best not be calling me a 'moran,' Red, cos I might not know what it is, but I don't like the sound of it.



P.s. The Precious says, "Step off!"

All I'm saying is 'Land of the free, in the home of the brave'?
Must be a feckin' big home ie. house!
'Home of the free, in the land of the brave'.
That's more like it. Nes pas?

Well, to me anyway...

Glasgow/Scotland/UK/Europe has many morans too!

Started crawling DOWN the walls as well as up them yet, Corpy? That's a pretty good sign that things ain't right.

@ RS

It's
Oh Say does that star spangled banner yet wave..
In the land of the free AND the home of the Brave.

Written by Francis Scott Key. I toured Fort Henry in Baltimore where he wrote it. Impressive fort. Never count a Marylander out.

Dave Whelan wrote:Started crawling DOWN the walls as well as up them yet, Corpy? That's a pretty good sign that things ain't right.

Is RS calling you a moron CP?????

Naw, I think he's trying to call me a 'moran,' and using antiquated song lyrics to back it up, but you sorted that BP.

Fact is, this post has nothing to do with my being American. The Precious has no nationality!!!



**fat heartlanderses**

America: land of the moderately oppressed

Frodo has failed. Clicky.

(Put as a link rather than embedding the image cos it's big.)

Edited. See below.

markfiend wrote:http://people.msoe.edu/~meyermd/pics/fr ... failed.jpg

(Put as a link rather than embedding the image cos it's big.)

... and you didn't even say clicky

hallucienate wrote:

markfiend wrote:http://people.msoe.edu/~meyermd/pics/fr ... failed.jpg

(Put as a link rather than embedding the image cos it's big.)

... and you didn't even say clicky

...Because I wanted people to see what the jpg was called.

OK, edited

Happy now?

blissfully so.

Glad to be of service

glad to be served

CorpPunk wrote: **fat heartlanderses**

I read that as "fat heartland arses"!

@ mf: I choked on my free doughnut. Explains a lot, that. Maybe I should run for president in 2008?

@ smiscandlon: Either one will do.

CorpPunk wrote:@ mf: I choked on my free doughnut. Explains a lot, that. Maybe I should run for president in 2008?

I thought that was only allowed for people who aren't black, gay or female?

hallucienate wrote:

CorpPunk wrote:@ mf: I choked on my free doughnut. Explains a lot, that. Maybe I should run for president in 2008?

I thought that was only allowed for people who aren't black, gay or female?

Or those lacking in integrity.

Chairman Bux wrote:Or those lacking in integrity.

No - that's for the CEO of a large Anglo-Dutch oil company.

I can fake being a middle-aged, white, southern, male, born-again christian, big business CEO with situational ethics and an overweening belief in divine right rule. I can fake that easy.

Although I admit it's rather boring that a playful post on hobbitses becomes yet another indictment of American political affairs, simply, I suppose, because the author happens to be American. Props to mf for at least making a relevant bridge. *sigh*

"situational ethics"