Heartland

To be read to the tune of "Just the Right Bullets" sung by one Tom
Waits...


I'm fed up.
Pissed
But happy
Cos this week from the anus of Satan has ended.
Otherwise, how's yer Friday evening going?

F u c king Polly Harvey is touring with Morrissey in Glasgow in
December - how s h i t e is that? I would really love to see PJ - she's
a Queenie.
Not that I'm a queen.

I'm rambling
But I don't sodding care.

This is turning into a poem.

I smoke too much
Tobacco
It's killing me.
But then so is the water I drink and the toothpaste I slosh around in
my mouth every morning and night.
Not to mention the cyanide dust blowing in off the mine dump every
now and then when the wind gets up.
Life is grand.

Christmas is coming - yay! Be happy
F u c k
I f u c k i n g HATE Christmas. I want to go and hide in a cave.
There's one on the minedump but it will probably collapse on my
sorry head and I'll suffocate to death.

There is a street busker down the road, he stands at the robots (you
call em traffic lights or something stupid like that). He's a black
dude, a tramp by all accounts - he has a geetar, a microphone and
speaker box, bazooki (or however you spell it), and a mouthorgan and
he's wired up so that it all amplifies when he plays the stuff. His
name is Johannes I found out last night, he's such a cool person. I'm
going to go and film him this weekend and do an interview with him.
He's the freakiest dude you've ever seen in your life. And he has
perfect GOLD teeth! How does a bum afford Gold teeth? I have to
find out, it's driving me nuts.

Have I waffled on enough yet?

Oh and tonight's Guy Fawkes - which means absolutely f**k all to
South Africans but the stupid fuckers still go out and spends
thousands of rands on cheap Chinese fireworks and scare their dogs to
death. It's also Diwali (the Indian festival of lights, or something
like that) and they also have a merry old time of it blowing
everything to pieces within a couple of metres of their front door.
People are so stupid, don't you think?
People really are stupid.

Were we all this stupid when we were cavemen and cavewomen?
Were there animal rights organisations back in the Stone Ages? Was
there Women's Lib? Did men have to take a tonic to get an erection?

Life is weird
People are stupid
And I need another drink and some more Tom Waits

The Fireworks are going off right, left & centre!!!
I HATE IT!!!
I HATE IT!!!!!
I HATE IT!!!!!!!!

it's pretty quite where I am The cats are happily asleep. by-laws can be a good thing and a bad thing, this time they got it right

The abandoned apartment on the ground floor has been broken into (again). The police have been called (again) and an "emergency" council carpenter is apparently on his way to board up the door (again). This on the night that people like to let off explosives and set fire to things for fun.

Fireworks galore, stressing out me, the cat, and my ex-partner who is still living with me until she can find a job.

Yes, just another Friday night...

[quote="smiscandlon"] and my ex-partner who is still living with me until she can find a job.
/quote]

now that's what i call a friendly relation. Very good.

this friday i'm not going out. Must take care of my cat cause he is very ill. Tomorrow i will go early with him to vet.

so.. is time to clean the email box and to check some photos.

smiscandlon wrote: Yes, just another Friday night...

Indeed.

Fireworks are pissing me off! I'm worried about the woodpigeons in the back garden - they're sedate and reserved animals, I think the shock might cause them to fall off their perches!
...and the three foxes I saw run up my street the other night - they must be terrified.

Ban this filth!

boudicca wrote:Fireworks are pissing me off! I'm worried about the woodpigeons in the back garden - they're sedate and reserved animals, I think the shock might cause them to fall off their perches!
...and the three foxes I saw run up my street the other night - they must be terrified.

We must live in very different parts of Glasgow!

went out. got drunk. same old same old.

smiscandlon wrote:...the cat, and my ex-partner who is still living with me until she can find a job.

Yes, just another Friday night...

been there, done that. Feeling for ya, mate. Not the best of circumstances.

Who let the dogs out?

smiscandlon wrote:

boudicca wrote:Fireworks are pissing me off! I'm worried about the woodpigeons in the back garden - they're sedate and reserved animals, I think the shock might cause them to fall off their perches!
...and the three foxes I saw run up my street the other night - they must be terrified.

We must live in very different parts of Glasgow!

Where are you? I'm in the place where a large, furry mammal goes to rest. He frequently bumps into well-off, blue-rinsed old ladies.

You with me yet?

boudicca wrote:Where are you? I'm in the place where a large, furry mammal goes to rest. He frequently bumps into well-off, blue-rinsed old ladies.

You live next door to Blast?

boudicca wrote:Where are you? I'm in the place where a large, furry mammal goes to rest. He frequently bumps into well-off, blue-rinsed old ladies.

You with me yet?

Let's just say that if I wanted to Go somewhere, I might choose to do it in a van.

And if I had such a van, I would take great pleasure in frequently bumping into f*ck-off, blue-tracksuited wee nyaffs who appear to make up the bulk of the local population.

We did nothing last night, but tonight we are of to my parents for dinner. And we have to close the doors tonight, cos it's tonight the kids runs aroud and trick and treat us.

Cheers

Oh sorry. Acording to my wife, trick and treat were days ago.

@ hallucienate, boudicca lives quite a distance from me, smiscandlon is closer but I get your point about big furry creatures

rian wrote:trick and treat were days ago

You must be spending too much time here Rian. You seem to be acquiring a Yorkshire accent.

It's now Saturday evening & the bloody fireworks are still going off!!!!

ENOUGH!!!!!

strange... last nght, i. e. the same Fraday night (probably before you started this topic) I sat staring the PC and thought, why, f***'s sake, I'm sitting and staring the PC on Friday night. I was quite sad. and wanted to start a topic, asking where are Big Si, Andy (our goth-friend from Wales) and... Lachert (maybe some of you remember him)... but I thought maybe some you'd call me a pathetic creature if I did it...

Francis wrote:

rian wrote:trick and treat were days ago

You must be spending too much time here Rian. You seem to be acquiring a Yorkshire accent.

Is that good?

rian wrote:
Is that good?

Ey Up Lad!!

rian wrote:

Francis wrote:

rian wrote:trick and treat were days ago

You must be spending too much time here Rian. You seem to be acquiring a Yorkshire accent.

Is that good?

There's nowt wrong wi' folks from Yorkshire:

smiscandlon wrote:

rian wrote:

Francis wrote: You must be spending too much time here Rian. You seem to be acquiring a Yorkshire accent.

Is that good?

There's nowt wrong wi' folks from Yorkshire:

I'm not sure that I believe you....