23/11/04 A Book That Goes Up To 11
Posted: 23 Nov 2004, 18:44
might be a nice stocking filler folks
Because as you will see, the numbers all go to eleven. Right across the board. Eleven sections, eleven lists, eleven points, eleven eleven eleven. Other trivia books, and there are plenty of them, they all go up to ten. Top ten this, top ten that, top ten whatever. Where can you go from there? Exactly. Nowhere. This is the book that gives you the little push over the cliff. The rock and roll essential reference book that is, simply, one louder .
Eleven Songs You Should Never Play in a Guitar Shop
The moment you try out a guitar in a guitar shop is never an easy one. You're among peers, you want to impress - or more particularly, you don't want to want to look stupid. So, when the pony-tailed assistant with the Santana T-shirt passes you the Les Paul and says, 'Feel the action on this,' what soaring riff are you going to knock him out with?
1) 'Stairway to Heaven'
In the film Wayne's World, Wayne faces such a situation when he notices a sign on the wall banning 'Stairway to Heaven'. The ban still stands, guys.
2) 'Smoke on the Water'
Don't even think about it.
3) 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'
A 'Smoke on the Water' for the nineties. Not only that, but the assistant will floor you with some comment about how it's just a rip off of 'More than a Feeling' by Boston. If you're really unlucky, he might play you 'More than a Feeling' by Boston.
4) 'House of the Rising Sun'
He'll think you're a busker.
5) 'Wonderwall'
He might think you're a busker. Or you might just get a long lecture about how much better The Beatles were.
6) 'Glad to be Gay'
The guitar shop is not an enlightened place.
7) 'Anarchy in the UK'
Be careful. Although the world loved punk for what it was, for the guitarsales assistant there remains the nagging doubt that punks were a bunch of no-hopers who couldn't play their instruments.
'Wild Thing'
At which the assistant will have a flashback from the bad acid trip he had at Monterey in 1967, when he watched Jimi Hendrix play the song and set fire to his guitar. By the time you get to the end of the first line, the sprinklers will be on.
9) 'Sultans of Swing'
For about thirty seconds in 1979, you could almost have got away with this. But, given that the assistant is likely to know it by heart, play it only if you know every last sodding note. Otherwise he's just going to pick you up on the smallest thing: 'I think you'll find Mark hammers on the G in the rising arpeggio...'
10) Anything jazzy
He'll think you're a prat. Or, worse, Jamiroquai.
11) 'Ziggy Stardust'
Before you know it, the assistant will be dropping to his knees and simulating giving you fellatio in front of a startled group of onlookers.
http://www.rockandpopelevens.com/index_2.html
Because as you will see, the numbers all go to eleven. Right across the board. Eleven sections, eleven lists, eleven points, eleven eleven eleven. Other trivia books, and there are plenty of them, they all go up to ten. Top ten this, top ten that, top ten whatever. Where can you go from there? Exactly. Nowhere. This is the book that gives you the little push over the cliff. The rock and roll essential reference book that is, simply, one louder .
Eleven Songs You Should Never Play in a Guitar Shop
The moment you try out a guitar in a guitar shop is never an easy one. You're among peers, you want to impress - or more particularly, you don't want to want to look stupid. So, when the pony-tailed assistant with the Santana T-shirt passes you the Les Paul and says, 'Feel the action on this,' what soaring riff are you going to knock him out with?
1) 'Stairway to Heaven'
In the film Wayne's World, Wayne faces such a situation when he notices a sign on the wall banning 'Stairway to Heaven'. The ban still stands, guys.
2) 'Smoke on the Water'
Don't even think about it.
3) 'Smells Like Teen Spirit'
A 'Smoke on the Water' for the nineties. Not only that, but the assistant will floor you with some comment about how it's just a rip off of 'More than a Feeling' by Boston. If you're really unlucky, he might play you 'More than a Feeling' by Boston.
4) 'House of the Rising Sun'
He'll think you're a busker.
5) 'Wonderwall'
He might think you're a busker. Or you might just get a long lecture about how much better The Beatles were.
6) 'Glad to be Gay'
The guitar shop is not an enlightened place.
7) 'Anarchy in the UK'
Be careful. Although the world loved punk for what it was, for the guitarsales assistant there remains the nagging doubt that punks were a bunch of no-hopers who couldn't play their instruments.
'Wild Thing' At which the assistant will have a flashback from the bad acid trip he had at Monterey in 1967, when he watched Jimi Hendrix play the song and set fire to his guitar. By the time you get to the end of the first line, the sprinklers will be on.
9) 'Sultans of Swing'
For about thirty seconds in 1979, you could almost have got away with this. But, given that the assistant is likely to know it by heart, play it only if you know every last sodding note. Otherwise he's just going to pick you up on the smallest thing: 'I think you'll find Mark hammers on the G in the rising arpeggio...'
10) Anything jazzy
He'll think you're a prat. Or, worse, Jamiroquai.
11) 'Ziggy Stardust'
Before you know it, the assistant will be dropping to his knees and simulating giving you fellatio in front of a startled group of onlookers.
http://www.rockandpopelevens.com/index_2.html