Heartland

received this email the other day:

> -----Original Message-----
> From:
> Sent:
> To:
> Subject: Darren Larkin
>
>
> Hello,
>
> I'm a reporter with the Oldham Evening Chronicle and am
> trying to trace old school friends of Darren Larkin
> (known at school as Daz or Pops). As you will probably
> have seen, he is now in the army and facing a court
> martial in Germany for the alleged abuse of Iraqi
> civilians.
>
> I believe you were in his year at Counthill School and
> wondered if you could call me about it.
>
> Regards,
>
> xxxxxxx (Tel 0161 xxx xxxx)
> ps. I was given your email address by a friend of mine.
> Hope you don't mind the inquiry.

it would appear i went to the same school as this darren "iraqi surfer" larkin guy

according to other news sites he's a couple of years younger than me, which explains why i dont remember his name or anything about him...

needless to say i haven't responded to the journo above. i've seen neighbours - i know what they're like

how strange.

I think he's ripping the namelist from the school listings on Friends Reunited. A work colleague had something similar when 'I'm A Celebrity ...' was on. Unfortunately she went to school with Joe Pasquale ...

JB wrote:I think he's ripping the namelist from the school listings on Friends Reunited. A work colleague had something similar when 'I'm A Celebrity ...' was on. Unfortunately she went to school with Joe Pasquale ...

did joe squeek like that at school too?

oddly enough though it came to my work email address, which is nowhere on friends reunited!

there are only a couple of people who i'm still in touch with from back then and that also know my email address at work...

Quiff Boy wrote: did joe squeek like that at school too?

She can't remember, other than he was tiny and spent most of his formative years being used as a football by the bigger boys.

Quiff Boy wrote:oddly enough though it came to my work email address, which is nowhere on friends reunited!

I'm sure there's some mind-numbingly geek-speak explanation as to how they harvested it <yawn> but at the moment I have more important things to do, such as staring at the wall.

You should reply and say "Yeah, I knew him, he was a bastard and flushed my head down the toilet".

Least that's what I'd do...

boudicca wrote:You should reply and say "Yeah, I knew him, he was a bastard and flushed my head down the toilet".

Least that's what I'd do...

Quiffy has already said the kid was a couple of years younger than him.
What would it do to his credibility to say that he had his head flushed down the bog by one of the younger kids?

Quiff Boy wrote: needless to say i haven't responded to the journo above. i've seen neighbours - i know what they're like

how strange.

Yep. Lying despicable scumbags, without exception

Sounds like they're struggling for people who will admit to knowing him. I wonder if they're looking for "He's such a nice boy, I'm sure he's innocent" quotes, or whether they want "He killed my puppies when he was eight".

I'd do the puppies myself. But I'm a lying despicable scumbag.

How does one get into journalism? I'm good at lying.

I convinced Mrs fiend that the reason Steve Miller did "The Joker" and "Abra-Cadabra" was that he'd formerly been a stage magician, and the songs were a tribute to his previous career.

You spend years providing drinks and money to an existing journalist of your acquaintance.

As he becomes progressively more inebriated and boneidle he'll start out-sourcing his work to you and concealing the fact from his bosses. This becomes your portfolio.

Then you take that portfolio to another newspaper, who give you a job. Unfortunately at this stage you realise your salary is derisory, your hours inhospitable and your prospects negligible.

So you find a willing idiot to do your work for you and the cycle of life ticks on.

Alternatively, contact the NCTJ in Harlow. They'll bore you for six months and send you out confident in the knowledge that you think you're much better than you actually are. Then you start work at a local paper where the more established staff will quickly aim to bridge this little gap. You become disillusioned and find a willing idiot, prompting the cycle of life to tick on.

Jaded? Cynical? Looking for a career change? As if!

Maybe I won't bother then

I accept paypal, if that helps.