Heartland

Walking home from work yesterday, not ten yards from my house, I was suddenly struck in the left temple by some unknown flying object. Startled, I took a moment to steady myself; I thought I heard childish giggles (whose origin I could not discern) not close, but not too far. Bending down, I retrieved the offending projectile from the pavement only to discover it was a single square of Green & Black’s organic milk chocolate, which, projected at a high enough velocity, can double a deadly missile of delicious hate.

At that point I knew I was dealing with mere pseudo-sophisticates, as no self-respecting connoisseur of the cacao fruit’s greatest issue would have anything less than bitter, dark Valrhona with 70% cocoa solids in his kitchen cabinet—a clear message in itself. While my attackers regrouped, I sprinted home and, tearing through the house like a possessed thing, flung open my pantry door and grabbed the single bar of dark I always keep on hand for exigencies such as this. As is his usual practice, my butler waited in the foyer with my after-work snack of a glass of champagne and a single strawberry. “Not now, Roberts,� I called as I ran back out the door, “I have a battle to win.�

And win I did. I scoffed at their 34% cocoa solids. I pelted those six-year-olds as hard as I could, laughing with all the bitterness and disillusionment of war as they cried and retreated to their base camps. When I returned home, battle-scarred and exhausted, my strawberry was still fresh, ripe, and red . . . and all the more gratifying for being well earned.

I must confess, I am a Green & Black's "pseudo-sophisticate" myself.
I'm not one of those Bridget-Jonesy "chocolate women", but fuckin' 'ell, it is good stuff....

edit - ooh-hooo, I got past the sweary-filter!!!

when your daddy owns a sweet shop, it's incredibly easy to go off the stuff.

boudicca wrote:I must confess, I am a Green & Black's "pseudo-sophisticate" myself.

I forgive you. Green & Black's, as a chocolatier, is acceptable. Milk, as a chocolate, is not.

Would you like the other half of my strawberry?

Marsden Fields wrote: Would you like the other half of my strawberry?

Is that a euphemism?

it's no good if you only get half.

Indeed.

ahh, PIBs favourite topic

i'm a maya gold man. and their dark 70% cocoa one of course.



ever had booja booja chocolate truffles?

their champagne one are stunning, and their coffee ones are quite grand too. wasnt overly sure about their hazelnut ones though .

http://www.boojabooja.com/

ahh, PIBs favourite topic

as i sit here eating some g&b's organic dark 70% waiting for me tea to cook

ness'll be pleased i see thet do orange flavour too now

Quiff Boy wrote: ever had booja booja chocolate truffles?

their champagne one are stunning, and their coffee ones are quite grand too. wasnt overly sure about their hazelnut ones though .

http://www.boojabooja.com/

Vegan truffles? I do adore the confections, but I'm distrustful of those not touched by the hand of cow. Or the udder, as it were. However, I will try them on your recommendation.

I surely didnt expect to find some connaisseurs amongst you occupants of Cadbury-country.

Delightfull!

Lindt milk chocolate with macadamia nuts!

lindt white chocolate is pretty damn good. Poor second to Kinder though.

I'll have the blackest of black chocolate, between 80 and 90 percent (above is too much of it), that's just the way it should be, just like coffee, strong and very very dark , the ones with bits of coffee in it are quite good too, for brands, lindt, callebaut, galler, or something like it, please ...

Marsden Fields wrote:Milk, as a chocolate, is not.

I agree milkchocolate is for barbarians, but some white chocolates are quite good though

I would recommend Marching Chocolate (through I havn't seen it around for a couple of years)

Aha! d00m has a TARDIS!

In other news...I notice with some amusement that most of the contributors to this conversation are women. I'll now retreat whilst I still have moderate control of my own limbs.

ratehr than your mouth?

emilystrange wrote:ratehr than your mouth?

touche!

Always been a Suchard man myself. Hate the Swiss but love the animal bi-products. Yum yum.

Quiff Boy wrote:ever had booja booja chocolate truffles?

their champagne one are stunning, and their coffee ones are quite grand too. wasnt overly sure about their hazelnut ones though .

http://www.boojabooja.com/

Feckin' expensive though. My ex-girlfriend/flatmate loves them.

Around £4 for about 7 chocolates, yes?

Calling d00mw0lf.

I love your new avatar. Where was the pic taken?

smiscandlon wrote:Calling d00mw0lf.

I love your new avatar. Where was the pic taken?

Just outside a tube station (Earls court I think....) it totally ruined my cool... I was there, sharp suit, two ladies on each arm then started screaming and jumping up and down because I'd found me a time-traveling machine

d00mw0lf wrote:

smiscandlon wrote:Calling d00mw0lf.

I love your new avatar. Where was the pic taken?

Just outside a tube station (Earls court I think....) it totally ruined my cool... I was there, sharp suit, two ladies on each arm then started screaming and jumping up and down because I'd found me a time-traveling machine

Nice one.

We still have a number of police boxes in Glasgow, including one right in the city centre on Buchanan Street, one painted red in the east end of the city centre, and one in the west end that has been turned into a cappuccino stall.

Marsden Fields wrote:At that point I knew I was dealing with mere pseudo-sophisticates, as no self-respecting connoisseur of the cacao fruit’s greatest issue would have anything less than bitter, dark Valrhona with 70% cocoa solids in his kitchen cabinet—a clear message in itself. While my attackers regrouped, I sprinted home and, tearing through the house like a possessed thing, flung open my pantry door and grabbed the single bar of dark I always keep on hand for exigencies such as this.

And win I did. I scoffed at their 34% cocoa solids.

Well when it comes to chocolate I have no prejudices, except when it's filled with such vile substances as "praline", "nuts" and "raisins". Apart form that, I can happily consume anything from bog standard Cadburys to hardcore dark. Personal favourites are Coconut Ritter Sport, Lindt Lindor (milk or dark), Lindt 85% dark, Marks & Sparks Swiss (milk, white or dark) and Suchard Milka creme. Until a couple of years ago, I associated Terrys with s**t boxes of All Gold but somebody at work brought Terry's Noir back from their holidays. It was very dark chocolate with bits of coco throughout! Stunning

Incidentally, how the hell can you keep a bar of any chocolate in your kitchen cabinet for longer than 5 minutes? I know I can't.

smiscandlon wrote:

d00mw0lf wrote:

smiscandlon wrote:Calling d00mw0lf.

I love your new avatar. Where was the pic taken?

Just outside a tube station (Earls court I think....) it totally ruined my cool... I was there, sharp suit, two ladies on each arm then started screaming and jumping up and down because I'd found me a time-traveling machine

Nice one.

We still have a number of police boxes in Glasgow, including one right in the city centre on Buchanan Street, one painted red in the east end of the city centre, and one in the west end that has been turned into a cappuccino stall.

There's one in Sheffield too... but it's green