Heartland

OK, we have "love and relationships" topic, now another question - what do you think about long-distance relationships? Do they work or is it a waste of time?

IMHO. I don't think they do. I've heard it works for some people, but I personally couldn't do it!


I would say it would depend on what you both wanted out of it.

DELILAH!!!

boudicca wrote:DELILAH!!!

I think we are on the same boat/train/plane whatever now Boudicca. Not the same destination I hope

I don't think they can work.

Another thing I don't get is internet relationships.

PM D.

it depends, do you intend to do something about the distance in the future, as in moving together. or is it impossible (because of a job...exc..) to do so, and do you intend to live seperate...
I don't think the second option would work for me.

The clue's in the sig....

Never tried one myself but I've seen it work for a friend of mine.

From what I've seen these relationships consist of dizzying whirlwind meetings followed by extended periods of longing. Fine if you can handle that.

The problem my friend encountered was when the relationships went from being long distance to a more regular partnerships. You may find the person you've actually spent comparatively little face time with is all they're cracked up to be (or they may think that about you).

boudicca wrote:The clue's in the sig....

B. I'm not into men who are spoken for

Essential.....the gene pool needs every bit of help it can get!

I know of at least three VERY long distance relationships - all met up through the internet. Can't see any difference where you met, be it in cyber space or on holiday or whatever. Takes more commitment (which is no bad thing in a relationship) and if you are the person who'd stray...you be the type of person who'd stray even if your partner lived two hundred yards down the road.

Delilah wrote:

boudicca wrote:The clue's in the sig....

B. I'm not into men who are spoken for

Bless yer black little heart!

Debaser wrote:Essential.....the gene pool needs every bit of help it can get!

I know of at least three VERY long distance relationships - all met up through the internet. Can't see any difference where you met, be it in cyber space or on holiday or whatever. Takes more commitment (which is no bad thing in a relationship) and if you are the person who'd stray...you be the type of person who'd stray even if your partner lived two hundred yards down the road.

Internet can be quite evil though... You kind of feel commited to a person you chat every night too, but then you don't really know anything about them, thay may feed you lies without you realising it, you build up hopes and then end up getting hurt and disappointed... But I know a couple who met on a certain forum
and are happy together. Bless them
Internet helps if you met the person you are chatting to, and if you are far apart, it will definitely help your feelings grow. But I'd stay away from cyber-relationships.

Glasgow to Manchester, 7 intense months

James Blast wrote:Glasgow to Manchester, 7 intense months

That's British Rail for you...

What is it with me and long trains...

I've done it before (for the first 1-2 years of what became a 7 year relationship, so yes it can work) and I'm doing it again. And I'm very happy about it, thank you very much.

anyone we know Laz

Yes, Laz... we can keep a secret...

I know this is a wierd thing to put for your second post. But I met my current boyfriend on a forum for another band I like and instantly got on with him. We started chatting every night on MSN and after about 2 months decided to meet. I live in Lowestoft and he lives in London. So it's about 120 miles apart. We have been going for about 7 months now and everything is going really well. We see each other as often as we can and talk on the phone every night. I think there are lots of ways you can meet someone and there is no right or wrong way.

James Blast wrote:anyone we know Laz

boudicca wrote:Yes, Laz... we can keep a secret...

boudicca wrote:The clue's in the sig....

A-ha.

Promising tale, Black-Saturn. It hasn't worked out in my personal experience, and those around me have usually gravitated to the more practical compromise of "Let's get together when/if we are closer."
I'd rescind my earlier cynical comments, and encourage people to go for it.

And to forward me monthy reports for, ah, scientific purposes.

Thats OK. I've also had a long distance relationship that didn't work out. I think if you've found the right person it shouldnt matter how far away they are. The distance thing can be a bit off putting though and all that travelling

I spent nearly 4 years jetting to Barcelona as often as I could and it was hard, that's for sure. All the usual relationship problems, but with the added hurdle of 1000 odd miles.

Eventually I jacked in my job, sold my flat and moved. I've been living in Barcelona for nearly 4 years now. All the usual relationship problems, but under the same roof now And she doesn't like the sisters

I think long distance relationships work if you are both prepared to put in the effort - which thankfully we are

We did it for a year. We had been together for a year already and then he graduated and went away to work. Hated it, but the intention was always that we would eventually live together. It was really difficult but, as someone said above, when you get together its really intense so that adds a certain dimension, retains a certain frisson

If you are committed it will work - if you're not, it won't.