Heartland

This is a topic I normally wouldn't raise around here, especially considering that I have better things to be doing right now - like dancing and drinking in a venue up the road, but anyway....

Lost anyone to death? Life just gets more and more serious, doesn't it?

I vaguely know a guy - no names, okay? - who was in band (and no, you don't know him) who had an almost magical charisma. I can't begin to explain it, but from the first time I laid eyes on him, without even knowing who he was, I felt he was a guy who'd become the next James "Jimmy Mac" Dean -- an absolute star -- even if the rest of the band were total (and I mean total) wankers.

But then the guy dropped dead from an asthma attack, triggered by a heroin overdose. The girls just loved this guy - I saw his romantic escapades all over town. (Like all over town.)

Hmmm... life just gets more and more serious, doesn't it?

I first lost a friend when I was 8. Cystic fibrosis.

Makes you wonder doesn't it.

I lost my mum about a year ago. Still ain't over it.
Never will.

the first time I had to deal with death was when the best friend of my father died of cancer. this was 12 years ago.
I still remember the look on his face when somebody told him.
this was one of the only times I have withnessed the true character of my father... ...he took it with a smile on his face.

my dad comitted suicide when i was fifteen.didnt see that one coming...it left sith-loads of messy bollox in its wake as well,that little act of pure self -indulgence.thats another story.

my mum comitted suicide just over ten years later.this time i was shocked but not surprised.after all it was the seventh or eigth time that i had known her to attempt it.what was inexplicable was that after years of struggling with issues from her childhood she had finally seemed to have resolved them.less than a year before she had married the man of her dreams;a totally solid bloke who i've known nearly all my life.he was the only man i had known to treat her properly(even by my high standards,as her son),and she was/seemed happier than i could ever have hoped.go figure.

both these deaths have completely f**ked my sisters head up.even now she goes from councillor to councillor trying to get some sort of closure.i'm lucky that i'm stronger-just 'cause somebody elses life was a disaster dont mean i'm gonna let it ruin mine.

last november my gran died.she was cool as fcuk.taught me how to climb trees.taught me how to look after myself.gave me all the things a mother should but mine couldnt.taught me that no matter what you are as good as anyone else and to fight your corner and never surrender.i miss her.

my friends father died suddenly from a heart attack on monday

@eastmidswhizzkid - excellent and amazing attitude - thank you.

The people closest to me who have died recently - my grandma and grandad - have affected my Mum (their daughter) more than me.....I dread either of my parents dying.

I'll say my piece. I'm not nomally into group hugs.

My Mum died suddenly five weeks ago. Those of you who were in contact at the time got the full SP. I adapt and deal with it. Some of you have been on the sharp end of my PMs.

I appologise in open forum.

Alcohol and grief is not a good mix, but at the same time it is the only mix.

As Canon D says, it may take some time.

@ Loki - take your time.... I can't even begin to imagine.

@ Loki: sorry to hear that John.we're all there for you bro.

Loki wrote:I'll say my piece. I'm not nomally into group hugs.

My Mum died suddenly five weeks ago. Those of you who were in contact at the time got the full SP. I adapt and deal with it. Some of you have been on the sharp end of my PMs.

I appologise in open forum.

Alcohol and grief is not a good mix, but at the same time it is the only mix.

As Canon D says, it may take some time.

John, you know I'm there for you...

I lost my Father 5 years ago, having a few unsolved issues with him... still grieving and feeling guilty... Then I lost my Grandma, who basically raised me when I was a child, again - did not have a chance to say goodbye... Grieving is a very slow process and I'm not sure if it is possible to recover completely...

I lost my nan just over a year ago.

She was THE most amazing person I have ever known.
She was a night owl like me, I used to phone her at two or three o'clock in the morning sometimes and she would have to turn her music down so that we could talk!

A very spiritual person, some of the thing she told me she had seen and felt were unbelievable, but I had no reason to doubt her. Even though we were poles apart in our ideolagy.

I have a tape of her leaving a message on the telephone about 2 months before she died. It is one of my most treasured possessions.

@ Eastmidswhizzkid - Sounds like hell my friend. I never realy believed that life could be like that.

Paul.

As an aside, what the hell is going on Heartland seems to have turned into one big therapy session. (not that I'm complaining - its good to talk )

Hmphh. Make the most of it while you're here....

Black Biscuit wrote:Hmphh. Make the most of it while you're here....

Couldn't agree more

Although sometimes it's a hell of a lot easier said than done,no?


Paul

My sympathy goes to all of you who've lost somebody. And I hope for you that you have close enough friends around who are there for you, because my experience is that they are what one needs most in such times.

I've lost my father six years ago and he died suddenly of a heart attack too. It was as a nightmare for me and my mum, but at least I had the comfort that I had had him for 30 good years, we had been very close and there weren't any unsolved issues when he died. Besides, it was the sudden death he had hoped for, although far too early.

The worst besides the loss in itself was that my mum and I couldn't be of any help to each other, because each of us experienced something quite different. I've never been more glad to have friends than during that period. And I still miss him badly, but I've learned to accept his absence.

At the age of 22 I've lost a close friend, who committed suicide. And I think loosing somebody through suicide is about the worst that can happen, because you never stop asking yourself wether you could have done anything more to prevent that from happening and it leaves you with a nagging feeling of guilt. The worst for me then was the experience that even though this friend had professional help and was very well cared for he came to a point where nobody could reach him anymore. It took me a long time to accept that.

many too many

My best friends father took his life when my friend was 13.

Other than that, I've been lucky. But my mom has a cronical (spell) disease, but so far so good.

I can't say I have. My family has never seen any dramatic or unexpected deaths, neither have my friends. I suppose I'm grateful for that, but it's a hard concept to wrap your mind around if you've never experienced it like some of you clearly have.

Sympathies to all.

markfiend wrote:I first lost a friend when I was 8. Cystic fibrosis.

Makes you wonder doesn't it.

I lost my closet friend, Soul Brother if you will (no offecne James) to cancer in 2000. He had Cystic Fibrosis and as a result had a Liver transplant, and from from this contracted "Lymphoma" aka Stomach Cancer. The ironic thing is he had lost many friends to CF - but this time the Cancer got him.

I still miss him every day - as it was he who encouraged my very black/sick sense of humour and a love of getting "cynical"

Plus he had a music collection that some here would be very envious of!

Amen, Andrew
I understand, mate

Good to see you back ATG (in whatever format).

Why am I thinking of Engine Rooms, kebabs and not-so-scary streets in Cardiff last year?