Heartland

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:23**

Having embraced my new Bridget Jones status and lifestyle, I find I have become a domestic God. Cooking, cleaning, washing. You name it, I can do it. Tonight Iâ€™ve successfully taken another step towards domestic nirvana by burning myself with the iron. I now have one of those two inch burn marks on the inside of my left forearm so favoured by the female species. Naturally as soon as the accident happened my maternal pragmatism automatically kicked in and I remained calm and collected. After ensuring that the iron was safely secured and no further danger to my person, I snapped a leaf off the Aloe Vera plant growing in a pot on the kitchen window sill. As any woman knows, the medicinal qualities of the natural gel inside the leaf help to relieve the pain, fight infection and more importantly, prevent scarring. My estrogen levels are rising.

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:35**

Johnny M wrote:Tonight Iâ€™ve successfully taken another step towards domestic nirvana by burning myself with the iron.

Poor you

I have a cure for such accidents - I simply don't do ironing!
BTW, I miss our late night conversations...

So if yougave a break in you domestic duties, you know where to find me

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:37**

You'll be having mood swings; asking if your "bum looks big in these jeans" and demanding chocolate with every meal next

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:38**

I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:39**

I never thought I'd say this, but...I think I miss Loki.

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:41**

Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them

- and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:52**

Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice

Darwinism in action.

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 20:55**

timsinister wrote:
Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice
Darwinism in action.

I think those were (almost if not exactly) Paul's words

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:03**

Delilah wrote:
Johnny M wrote:Tonight Iâ€™ve successfully taken another step towards domestic nirvana by burning myself with the iron.
Poor you I have a cure for such accidents - I simply don't do ironing!
BTW, I miss our late night conversations... So if yougave a break in you domestic duties, you know where to find me

No worries pal. PM me a 'Hey!' with a time and a day taking N into consideration and it's fine.

Hell, I'll be totally reckless and leave the hoovering for another night.

The Trinity always come first.

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:04**

Black Alice wrote:

You'll be having mood swings; asking if your "bum looks big in these jeans" and demanding chocolate with every meal next

What makes you think I don't?

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:04**

@nick the stripper - wrong thread - unless you're hiding from lazcorp

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:06**

Black Alice wrote:@nick the stripper - wrong thread - unless you're hiding from lazcorp

sorry.

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:11**

Brideoffrankenstein wrote:I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever

That's because black hides creases. Nigella taught me that one.

Fine, I'll arrange some 'new man in touch with his feminine self' ironing classes. Anyone else ...

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:13**

timsinister wrote:I never thought I'd say this, but...I think I miss Loki.

No you don't Tim, simply because he never visited your PM box.

Trust me.

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:14**

Johnny M wrote:The Trinity always come first.

Johnny M wrote:What makes you think I don't?

nick the stripper wrote: sorry.

No problem - looks like I jumped in a bit quick

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:16**

Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice

do women still iron their hair[head!]or have tongs and things taken over?

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:17**

Johnny M wrote:
Brideoffrankenstein wrote:I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever
That's because black hides creases. Nigella taught me that one.

fact I actually wear white five days out of seven

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:20**

scotty wrote:
Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice
do women still iron their hair[head!]or have tongs and things taken over?

they have straighteners now

My Mum said she used to iron her hair (in the '60's) and her hair is as straight as it comes

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:21**

Brideoffrankenstein wrote:
Johnny M wrote:
Brideoffrankenstein wrote:I don't think I have ever ironed anything ever
That's because black hides creases. Nigella taught me that one.

fact I actually wear white five days out of seven

Yeh, but that's because you're dealing drugs.

See ... I do pay attention.

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:22**

Am I the only one who read the title as "Touching my Feminine Self"?

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:23**

Johnny M wrote: Yeh, but that's because you're dealing drugs.

Sssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:32**

Motz wrote:Am I the only one who read the title as "Touching my Feminine Self"?

Probably yes, because this thread is about estrogen. Not testosterone. Fcuk I'm, good tonight. After a day of sexual innuendo I'm cooking on gas.

Apologises to all you electric cooker people out there but I do agree with Delia. It's all about speed and control. Or as

would say, it's all about "speed! speed! speed!"

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 21:46**

Black Alice wrote:
scotty wrote:
Black Alice wrote:Paul once worked with a woman who ironed her jeans whilst she was wearing them - and gave herself a burn on her stomach from the heated zip..........

..........twice
do women still iron their hair[head!]or have tongs and things taken over?
they have straighteners now My Mum said she used to iron her hair (in the '60's) and her hair is as straight as it comes [/quote
Oh! ,but i can rember my mates big sis' ironing freshly dyed black hair[circa 83-4] between the front cover of the'edinburgh evening news' and iron board,Mmmmm the smell!

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 22:22**

Posted: **21 Jun 2005, 22:34**

emilystrange wrote:wtf?

Cheers Jo-Jo,

Another full, complete and well thought out response.

Heartland

In Touch With My Feminine Self

In Touch With My Feminine Self

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Re: In Touch With My Feminine Self