Heartland

I have a bridal shower to attend a few Sundays hence. I absolutely do not want to go, as it will be filled with 50 (!) people I don't know. Unfortunately, as a bridesmaid I'm obligated to attend.

Today's Challenge: The bachelorette party is on the Friday, and the shower is on the Sunday. Your job is to think of a plausible excuse that will allow me to go to the Friday party while preventing me from attending the Sunday shower. Whoever comes up with the best excuse gets a cookie.



P.s. Deaths of family and/or friends won't work, unless you can produce documentation.

Drink yourself into Rehab on Friday.

Easy.

...but not as easy as it looks. The bride doesn't drink, so Friday will be a non-alcoholic affair. Waste of time, I know.

Get the bridesmaid to sleep with the male stripper, then make sure you tell the hubby-to-be. Make it sound dirty enough that he calls off the whole thing by Sunday.

Cookie?

CorpPunk wrote:a non-alcoholic affair

Remind us why you're going?

Simple, just be your usual self. Go out on the friday, get blind drunk, verbally abuse all your 'friends' (and they are only pretending to like you ...) get forcibly ejected from the party and get banged up after assualting the cop who intervened. Incarcaration is a valid excuse.

CorpPunk wrote:The bride doesn't drink

That's just selfish if you ask me.

Ok, miss out the 'blind drunk' bit but I'm sure you can manage the rest sober.

Sundays are tough - you can't plead dentist, or doctor, or work... If it was me, I would agree to go, smile pleasantly and be enthusiastic, and then develop an AWFUL stomach upset on the Sunday morning. If it makes you feel less guilty, you can achieve the real thing by eating more than two Pot Noodles, and produce authentic vomiting noises on request.

There won't be any strippers either. It's all very f**king pious.

@MF: Because I'm such a nice person.

@Johnny: You have travel connections, yes? Make me disappear.

So far Johnny and MrChris are in the lead...

I don't even know what a 'bridal shower' is, but I want to go

...it's probably not what I'm thinking!

I'm backing MrChris' plan. A shot of shampoo is a valid alternative to pot noodle. Probably tastes better too.

CorpPunk wrote:So far Johnny and MrChris are in the lead...

Vomit or jail, vomit or jail ...it's a toughie, I know.

CorpPunk wrote:

Are those raisins or choc chips?

CorpPunk wrote: @Johnny: Make me disappear.

I've been trying for years but you still cyberstalk me ...

hallucienate wrote:Are those raisins or choc chips?

They look like evil little bastard raisins to me

Actually, I'd be putting in a lot more effort if one of these babies was on offer

Certainly not, sir! They are chocolate chips as I live and breathe! I don't see the point of cookies without choc in them.

I hate raisins too, but I've gone on about that ad nauseam before, I believe. Chocolate chip or chocolate and orange will do for me.

Anyway, it appears we have another solution. Send DerekR in your place and tell him to say he's having a bad hair day. How you would explain the unusual level of sexual excitement, I don't know.

MrChris wrote:How you would explain the unusual level of sexual excitement, I don't know.

Me neither!

MrChris is definitely in the lead now. Also, I'm willing to be kidnapped as long as it happens on the Saturday--just make sure you have milk in the house.

CorpPunk wrote: Also, I'm willing to be kidnapped as long as it happens on the Saturday--just make sure you have milk in the house.

Good thought! ...as I do know where you live. Just make sure you're in when the boys come round. Please don't struggle and yes, they'll be milk.

Or will declaring your kidnapping suggestion as the winner, just be part of your fiendish plan to tease the boys with chocolate chips with no intention of sharing? You're evil. You're greedy.

©Blast Products 2005™ Party Fears II solution:
stab the bride to be

Johnny M wrote:

CorpPunk wrote: Also, I'm willing to be kidnapped as long as it happens on the Saturday--just make sure you have milk in the house.

Good thought! ...as I do know where you live. Just make sure you're in when the boys come round. Please don't struggle and yes, they'll be milk.

There'll be, surely?