Heartland

Just had an e-mail from a Polish friend who thinks that cricket involves horses and sticks. I assume she means polo.

But my new challenge is explaining cricket to someone who has never seen it, without confusing her completely.

Links to websites which derive humour from endlessly repeating the words 'in' and 'out', clause after clause, won't be appreciated.

And since no-one understands the LBW law we're going to ignore that for now.

Cricket - a sport where two teams play against each other. The one team throws a very hard smallish ball to the opposite team, who from a distance hit the ball with a bat (I think that's the *sport* name for it?) made from wood. The opposite team then runs up and down, tapping his bat to make a *run* and in the meantime the opposite team catch the ball and try to *strike* the *runner* out. As to the score system

Does this help?

MB

Rounders for clever people.

"Cricket is a game invented by the English, not a naturally spiritual people, in an attempt to understand the concept of eternity."

Paraphrase and I can't remember who said it originally.

Detailed ins-and-outs of the laws of the game probably won't help either?

"You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When they are all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

"When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out, he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game."

Simple really.

First point that needs to be understood, cricket is an innings based game so only one team can score - that which is batting. Trust me, it's important to clear this up first as I once tried to explain the sport to a French person and didn't cover this up front. Grave mistake.

wow, i nearly dropped off to sleep just reading those descriptions

Quiff Boy wrote:wow, i nearly dropped off to sleep just reading those descriptions

I have learnt that a continuous supply of something cold and alcoholic, a good book and the occasional shout of 'Back up boys, back up' indicates to all present that I am indeed taking an interest in the game in front of me

Debaser wrote:"You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he's out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When they are all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that's been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

"When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out, he goes in and the next man in goes out and goes in. There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice after all the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game."

Simple really.

Yep. That's the description I specifically requested people didn't send.

The annoying thing is, I like and understand cricket. But explaining it to someone else confuses me. I think it requires years of having TMS burbling away in the background.

Debaser wrote:

Quiff Boy wrote:wow, i nearly dropped off to sleep just reading those descriptions

I have learnt that a continuous supply of something cold and alcoholic, a good book and the occasional shout of 'Back up boys, back up' indicates to all present that I am indeed taking an interest in the game in front of me

if i ever find myself in the vicinity of edgebaston (more likely ther than headingley ) then i shall try it

andymackem wrote:Just had an e-mail from a Polish friend who thinks that cricket involves horses and sticks. I assume she means polo.

But my new challenge is explaining cricket to someone who has never seen it, without confusing her completely.

Links to websites which derive humour from endlessly repeating the words 'in' and 'out', clause after clause, won't be appreciated.

And since no-one understands the LBW law we're going to ignore that for now.

Dont bother , just tell her she was right with the Horses and sticks............
Far simpler and you keep your sanity!

Another tip....take a radio and earphones, then all those present will think you are watching the game but listening to the commentary on TML (or is it S?) - damn, I need more practise at this faking being a cricket lover). Good old Aggers.

andymackem wrote:
Links to websites which derive humour from endlessly repeating the words 'in' and 'out', clause after clause, won't be appreciated.

Ah............must read ALL of post before replying..

I honestly do not like sport. Watching it on the tube irritates me. Explaining something to someone not of the same the language means explaining yourself slowly and carefully....woman do get things if laid out so that it is understandable.

Lots of luck kind sir...

Cricket - A game soley devised to fill up the BBC (and now C4) airwaves on a Saturday afternoon/late evening when most sane people are either out or asleep.
ITV do the same thing although they call theirs Carry On films. See also : James Bond films.

well the ever wonderful cricinfo has this explanation. i've only skimmed it but it seems pretty comprehensive (maybe too comprehensive?)

How can you not like sport? It's a bit like not liking music or art.

I know I'm biased because it's how I earn a living, but at its best sport turns up the kind of 'couldn't make it up' moments of drama and excitement that would never work in fiction.

Then you have the grace and beauty of humanity pushing itself to its physical limit. At its best this is something sublime.

Finally you have the way in which sport brings people together. About half of my knowledge of European geography comes from my knowledge of European football. The majority of my conversations with random strangers in pubs have usually started with sport (and have been known to veer into all sorts of strange things, including an exchange of Nick Cave bootlegs in an Irish bar in Breda!).

And then you have motor-racing, which should just be stopped because it supplies none of the above. But nothing's perfect, eh?

RicheyJames wrote:well the ever wonderful cricinfo has this explanation. i've only skimmed it but it seems pretty comprehensive (maybe too comprehensive?)

That's probably a bit more than would be required, but I'll offer the link as 'further reading'. I think my invitation to drop by if I'm ever passing through Poland is about to be permanently revoked!

andymackem wrote:

RicheyJames wrote:well the ever wonderful cricinfo has this explanation. i've only skimmed it but it seems pretty comprehensive (maybe too comprehensive?)

That's probably a bit more than would be required, but I'll offer the link as 'further reading'. I think my invitation to drop by if I'm ever passing through Poland is about to be permanently revoked!

auntie beeb offers this guide to "the basics" with futher links to ways of getting out, field positions, etc. again possibly more detailed than your polish friend needs at this stage but at least it's broken up into more manageable chunks.

it is tricky isn't it? t'missus is slowly picking it up but she at least has the benefit of moving pictures to illustrate points.

warne on to bowl already?

I wouldn't mind, but I don't even fancy this one all that much. I'm just too nice for my own good sometimes.

Oh well, I suppose I'm trained for this sort of thing.

"Absolute bollocks. Play rugby instead."

Union or League?

NO do not play rugby That sport will kill you I was that gal that supported the rugby guys at school and hugged certain guys after the match. Know most sports, where I come from and the way of being brought up you "have to". Except I do have better things to do that waste my time following something I would rather be doing physically.
Kind sir I have the muscles to prove it but that's another personal thing....like I have a certain drivers' license but have no car or my better half. He has the train, bus and own two good feet and me....the bicycle gets the errands run and good for muscles in the legs too.....

I play rugby knowing full well I'm going to ache afterwards, but purely for the incredible rush in my head when I get the ball and must run full pelt into the other team, jump when I'm tackled, scream "Where the hell's the support!?" and curl up whilst 20 other people are trying to kill me via suffocation and crushing.
Occasionally, though, I just make it, and dive and score, and that makes the whole thing worthwhile.

What helped to understand the game for me, was THIS

(well it did not help but I had some fun for a couple of hours)

BTW, AndyMackem said that loving sports is like loving art or music.

I agree when you are talking about ACTIVELY practicing sports. That can be very satisfying.

Watching the telly equipped with beer and pretzels has really not the same impact as listening to the new System of a Down CD, tho

IZ.