Heartland

due to a strange hearing malady affecting all three of us, Gripper, Mr S and i were startled to hear sky sports announcing a 'goth tournament'. we weren't sure whether to be upset or not that it was golf..

but.. what categories? how would it be judged? would it be split male and female goth? plus the 'can't tell' category. tattoos? eyeliner use?

is there something like this at whitby? 'bi-annual goth awards'

I'm trying to organise goffick rounders. Maybe he meant that!

I'm soooo famous.

lmao... count me in if i'm ever there!

Categories for a goth tournament:

• Sitting in the corner looking superior
• Sneering at baby-goths
• Sunglasses
• Asking the DJ for a song no-one can dance to
• Goth top-trumps
• Chewing
• Setting fire to the back-comb (added points for green flames)
• Complaining that the DJ won't play the undanceable song you asked for

Any more?

we thought of waist size.. smallest for the lads

The most amount of goths dancing toward the huge stupid beam in the middle of the Phono......And then back again competition.

goth maypole?

Mrs RicheyJames wrote:I'm trying to organise goffick rounders. Maybe he meant that!

I'm soooo famous.

Hmmmm Goff girls in short skirts..........hmmmmm

snowey wrote:

Mrs RicheyJames wrote:I'm trying to organise goffick rounders. Maybe he meant that!

I'm soooo famous.

Hmmmm Goff girls in short skirts..........hmmmmm

Isn't it normally the goff boys wearing skirts?

Ability to deny, in the face of overwhelming evidence, that one is in fact goff.

Whoever can hold out the longest wins.

Von's won that every year so far.

mmm boys in short skirts.. nominations please

snowey wrote:

Mrs RicheyJames wrote:I'm trying to organise goffick rounders. Maybe he meant that!

I'm soooo famous.

Hmmmm Goff girls in short skirts..........hmmmmm

Sounds like another idea for a Tatu video.

@MrsRJ, at least the useless 'beam' used to have mirrors on it, so the goths could watch themselves shuffling / stomping towards / away from it.

The winner gets a year's supply of Snakebite and Black, Aquanet hairspray, and leather garment of your choice?

No. The leather garment of the loser's choice

or pvc, or rubber, or chainmail..

Mrs RicheyJames wrote:I'm trying to organise goffick rounders. Maybe he meant that!

I'm soooo famous.

The HSE would never let that go ahead,to big a risk,them big dangly spider web earings will end up causing eye injurys,too many twisted ankles after stilleto heeled boots sticking into the grass,girls falling over their ankle length crushed purple velvet dresses,people running into each other causing broken limbs and head injurys 'cause they can't see thro' their long back combed hair sprayed fringes,nope,It'll all end in tears!

scotty, it all ends in tears if you do it 'properly'

Motz wrote:No. The leather garment of the loser's choice

But in this game, every loser wins. For all you Nick Berry fans out there. It's time to come out of your shell.

markfiend wrote:Categories for a goth tournament:

• Sitting in the corner looking superior
• Sneering at baby-goths
• Sunglasses
• Asking the DJ for a song no-one can dance to
• Goth top-trumps
• Chewing
• Setting fire to the back-comb (added points for green flames)
• Complaining that the DJ won't play the undanceable song you asked for

Any more?

Go on; admit it - you were thinking of me when you wrote that list

Never did the Phono Maypole though; I'm far too ahem energetic a dancer for the goth two-step, as many people who insisted on sitting on the edge of the dance floor found to their extreme discomfort

Hmmm. Should really add the following events though:

Amphetamine fuelled weight loss marathon.
Amphetamine fuelled thousand yard stare (no sunglasses allowed)
Most obscure band tshirt.
Largest rosary.

Ther'll be more

This thing could run and run...

How about we co-adopt some existing challenges? The difficult ten yard kerb hurdle in knee-length boots? The mighty fifty yard dash for the bus in same boots? The all-defeating Triatholon of getting into a corset, getting into your boots, and getting into your makeup before missing the bus!

emilystrange wrote:Von's won that every year so far.

mmm boys in short skirts.. nominations please

*raises hand* Do I get a corset too?

Whoever can down a coffee first, maybe?

i don't care as long as the skirt's there..

who looks best after 24 hours

makeup longevity

timsinister wrote:The mighty fifty yard dash for the bus in same boots?

I would win that one hands down. Linford Christie in 4 inch heels, and I've perfected it throughout the years so it doesn't even look silly.

Not very, anyway...

Dark wrote: Whoever can down a coffee first, maybe?

That'd rule out any performance-enhancing drugs
You're a shoe-in winner, Dark, so I'm very suspicious of you suggesting it!

boudicca wrote:I would win that one hands down. Linford Christie in 4 inch heels, and I've perfected it throughout the years so it doesn't even look silly

The answer: Taxi! Less chance of scum at the back throwing things at your head.
Will race you to the Bar though, just to see and laugh.

mik wrote:Go on; admit it - you were thinking of me when you wrote that list

Semi-autobiographical, I assure you.