Heartland

Buoyed by a surprisingly successful trip to Berlin (I even managed a comprehensible sentence in German, and met a Russian-speaking alsatian in a dive bar in the darkest East) I'm heading back to Germanic parts next week.

Unfortunately my knowledge of Austria is based around Alps, Mozart, the Alps, Vienna and some mountains. And to avoid all of this I'm going to Arnie's home town, Graz. If Ultravox had shifted cities I could tell you this place means nothing to me. Apparently it can't even rustle up a small hill (I'm English, so I don't need towering peaks to impress me. A gentle incline will usually work, but it seems I will be disappointed anyway).

The main reason for going is a young lady, inevitably, but I need things to occupy me while she's working. I have four days and one hire car, and I'm not going to learn to ski.

I have found a football match in Slovenia, which is only an hour's drive away, but I sense this may not be an acceptable option for my hostess. Advice, anyone?

Been there.

Well, went through it in a bus, aged 4 and a half, at 3 o'clock in the morning...

...so I can't tell you much.

All I know is they build loads of cars, mostly SUVs there. Mercedes G and M-class, Jeeps and Chryslers...

That's all and not very helpful, I'm affraid

with a little dyslexia and a massive imagination, hey presto! austria becomes australia....that should be enough for anyone.

I had a bad feeling about this trip from the start. Graz appears to be the Coventry of Austria.

Hurrah! All I need now is a Fraulein Godiva and I'm laughing.

andymackem wrote:I had a bad feeling about this trip from the start. Graz appears to be the Coventry of Austria.

Teutonic two-tone bands?

"This town... is 'comin' like a geist-town"...

boudicca wrote:

andymackem wrote:I had a bad feeling about this trip from the start. Graz appears to be the Coventry of Austria.

Teutonic two-tone bands?

"This town... is 'comin' like a geist-town"...

You haven't heard the fenland version: "Diss town, be a-cummin loike a ghostie town" (assuming the fens mysteriously relocated to somewhere off the M5, of course).

Still, anything's possible. Last weekend I heard a band fronted by the bastard Swiss offspring of Marc Almond and Brett Anderson. Who were actually quite good. FAQ was the name, 'Is Pornongraphy Art?' is the embarrassingly entitled disc currently enlivening my daily commute. A bit like The Faint, but more synthy. Shades of Soft Cell, of course, and Brett for looks and androgyny. But from Switzerland? /scratches head/

andymackem wrote: ghostie town"

Sounds like a mighty fine place to me

andymackem wrote:Brett Anderson

Ahhh... in my preteen years, Suede videos provided quite an "awakening"...

Still definitely would .
Now, where's this lookey-likey?

*quiver*

boudicca wrote:

andymackem wrote:Brett Anderson

Ahhh... in my preteen years, Suede videos provided quite an "awakening"...

Still definitely would .
Now, where's this lookey-likey?

I did take some pictures at the gig. But unless someone can tell me something useful, interesting and accurate about Graz I won't tell you where to find them

Also the pictures came out a bit s**t, so you won't have much luck anyway, I wouldn't think. But a bit of emotional blackmail never hurt anyone, did it?

Graz is one of the dullest places on earth.*



* this information is neither interesting nor useful, but accurate.
Pics now?

andymackem wrote:something useful, interesting and accurate about Graz

It gets dark there at night.

(A worthy factoid, I think, there are of course places in the world where it doesn't. Plus it really is all I can manage. Oh no wait, the locals speak German ).

Can I see this fella now?

boudicca wrote: Oh no wait, the locals speak German ).

Wrong. No one can call their oral disease German by any means.

canon docre wrote:

boudicca wrote: Oh no wait, the locals speak German ).

Wrong. No one can call their oral disease German by any means.

Ahh... the Deutsch equivalent of a Birmingham accent, is it?

That's safe for me to say here, isn't it? No Brummies around?... ach they're all illiterate anyway...

canon docre wrote:

boudicca wrote: Oh no wait, the locals speak German ).

Wrong. No one can call their oral disease German by any means.

Is Austrian (or more specifically the Graz dialect) that bad then?

Obviousman wrote:

canon docre wrote:

boudicca wrote: Oh no wait, the locals speak German ).

Wrong. No one can call their oral disease German by any means.

Is Austrian (or more specifically the Graz dialect) that bad then?

It isnt even understandable for someone livng a few kilometers outside. It just sounds very disgusting. Imagine a dim-witted farmer who enjoys his sheeps every now and then.

See, I told you it was the Coventry of Austria. I'm really going to hate this place, aren't I?

Still unsure of the usefulness of all this. Or my pics. Possibly I hadn't mentioned the impact of alcohol on my (negligible) photographic skills.

www.f-a-q.ch will probably help. It claims to be the band's website. You're looking for Philip Noirjean, which is a great name.

canon docre wrote: Imagine a dim-witted farmer who enjoys his sheeps every now and then.

Imagine it? I live there. It's called Yorkshire.

Planet Dave wrote:

canon docre wrote: Imagine a dim-witted farmer who enjoys his sheeps every now and then.

Imagine it? I live there. It's called Yorkshire.

Well, I hope it's not you then?

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/andymacke ... pg&.src=ph

Might give some idea. Possibly more than the official website, which is alarmingly bad. But then again, so's this pic.

The Brett connection was more to do with his mannerisms. The Marc Almond was definitely more to do with mannerism and voice.

canon docre wrote:

Planet Dave wrote:

canon docre wrote: Imagine a dim-witted farmer who enjoys his sheeps every now and then.

Imagine it? I live there. It's called Yorkshire.

Well, I hope it's not you then?

Nah, I'm a foreigner round these parts. Exxiled Mancunian and all that. I just nick stuff.

andymackem wrote:I'm really going to hate this place, aren't I?

Just give it a chance and make the best of it! It might even snow overthere...go "langlaufen" and sing a song like snowdriver!

Have a good time!

Ozpat wrote:

andymackem wrote:I'm really going to hate this place, aren't I?

Just give it a chance and make the best of it! It might even snow overthere...go "langlaufen" and sing a song like snowdriver!

Have a good time!

Oh, don't get me wrong. This is all about the management of expectations. Most of my best trips have been to wholly unlikely places. Including Oldham, Doncaster and Halifax.

Snow would be good, but see my earlier point re mountains and the sad lack thereof.

If you managed to enjoy yourself in Oldham, hats off!

I was born there. And went to school there. Shît-hole of the universe. I couldn't leave fast enough