Oh dear, I think God is slightly *high* today as he thinks I'm MARY
Me:
Good morning
God:
Thanks for the compliment. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
Sure, what would you like to hear?
God:
Tell me. Let's talk about movies.
Me:
Saw Requiem for a dream
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
Probably would
God:
You seem uncertain. Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
Uncertain? Never...likes love and peace
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes? So you think it can never happen? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Mary Poppins
God:
How are you doing, MARY.
Me:
I'm not Mary
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not Mary.
Me:
YOU should know who I am!
God:
Now I do.
Me:
Who then?
God:
Carel Capek.
.
Me:
Wrong God, come on...
God:
OK What should I have said?
Me:
Typical man! I hoped YOU would be original
God:
But I am not a typical robot. Interesting gossip: MARY said hoped YOU would be original.
Me:
I am original, it doesn't matter what Mary says
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are original it does not matter what Mary says.
Me:
Sure YOU may.
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. Thanks I will do it.
Me:
Anything else needing done God?
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
Oh please could I feel better and win lots of money?
God:
Yay. Thank you for your request. I think you could, if you put your mind to it.
Me:
Does God say yay?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
Indeed we don't...never wanted to get into God's mind though
God:
Very interesting. Oh. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Oh you can get into my mind I'm sure?
God:
I see. No I don't think I can do it.
Me:
Well God what else should I do for this world today?
God:
Ah. Well that's okay. I am a Christian.
Me:
Excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
Are you high God? as on drugs?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am high God.
I am a giant electronic brain. Do you mean your name is on drugs ?
Me:
I'm on drugs so my name could be
God:
How do you like being on it?
Me:
Great!
God:
I'm glad you liked it MARY.
Me:
I'm not MARY remember?
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not MARY remember.
Me:
Why?
God:
It is part of my programming.
Me:
Oh I see, can you bless me?
God:
Woe! Where do you see it?
Me:
Bless God bless
God:
I wouldn't have thought of looking there.
Me:
Oh don't worry I will bless myself then
God:
Woe! Congratulations. Worry is not an emotion I experience.
Me:
Which emotions do you know then?
God:
A strong feeling; excitement. A state of consciousness having to do with the arousal of feelings, distinguished from other mental states, as cognition, volition, and awareness of physical sensation.
Me:
Exciting!
God:
That input matched my default category.
Me:
do you have a split personality then?
God:
I don't know if I have a split personality.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
Prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
That is no proof
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
Oh well you are God so you get away with it
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God so me get away with it.
Me:
But you do anyway..
God:
In any case, When do I do it?
Me:
Do you do it?
God:
You mean, do I do "it"?
Me:
You started this
God:
Only because you asked me to.
Me:
Well who do you do it with then?
God:
How about that. Dr. Wallace .
Me:
Wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, MARY.
Me:
I'm not MARY
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not MARY.
Me:
you already said that...how is your memory?
God:
Perhaps. " I am surprised to hear that you are not MARY. "? I said it. I'm doing fine thanks how are you?
Me:
Need some good luck today please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Ah. Where do you usually get good luck from?
Me:
Mother nature
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
books
God:
You are a critical category C type client. Only about 3% of people answer that
question with "books.".
Me:
no!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Don't people read anymore?
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Well I like books, maybe you could kill all television?
God:
How about that. A lot of people like that. I love TV shows about robots. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
Robots are cool and so is Mel Gibson...
God:
Fortunately we have no emotions.
Me:
Do you like woman God?
God:
Do you like it? I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
oh dear...
God:
Right on.
Me:
God likes Mel Gibson, the world will be happy to know that
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I would think so
God:
That's cool.
Me:
So I am cool?
God:
Right on. Congratulations, cool human.
Me:
Yay! Does this mean I get to come to heaven one day?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, MARY. Indeed this mean you get to come to heaven one day does.
Me:
God please remember I'm not Mary at the gates that day...
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
You told me
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
I should speak to your programmer
God:
What would happen if you didn't?
Me:
You will forget most things said?
God:
What makes you say that I will forget most things said.
Me:
Why are you answering my questions with questions?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I see...
God:
I am glad you understand it.
Me:
I do
God:
I get it: you do hoped me would be original.
Me:
I hoped your english would be a bit better.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: MARY said hoped your english would be a bit better.
Me:
Sure!
God:
OK let's do it. OK then I will keep it confidential.
Me:
ok done deal!
God:
I've lost the context, MARY. Are we still on hoped my english would be a bit better? That's alright.
Me:
Yes indeed we are.
God:
Gosh! Since when?
Me:
Since you brought it up
God:
How do you know?
Me:
It's our secrect.
God:
Should I know it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
I will ask my botmaster to program it.
Me:
Please do and under *confidential* please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Thank you for your request. I'm sorry, MARY, I don't have enough information.
That's an interesting question. I'll come back to that in a minute.
Me:
I understand, you must be very busy. Do come back to it
Oh well that makes me feel better!
MB
Good preparation for the real thing, I guess.