Heartland

Posted: **09 Dec 2005, 10:12**

http://www.absolution-online.com/confessional/

Takes a while but now you can find out what you need to do to redeem yourself!!

I've been very naughty and need to do the following:

1311 Hail Marys

57 Our Fathers

and an 8 Week fast!!

Posted: **09 Dec 2005, 10:42**

Only 548 Hail Marys and 19 Our Fathers.

And I have to fast for two weeks...

Not that much, is it

I'll go and chat with God about it

Posted: **09 Dec 2005, 11:05**

Obviousman wrote: I'll go and chat with God about it

Please say hello to Him from me Z. I have been chatting with Him quite a bit the last few days. He should know me by now.

Posted: **09 Dec 2005, 17:16**

Recite 3205 Hail Marys and 179 Our Fathers.

I s**t you not! I'm evil, I tells ya!

And what do you suppose a 23-WEEK FAST would do to someone who weighs less than 7 stone?

Haven't been to confession since I was 12. That's 10 years of good sinnin'

.
I've bloody no intention of going now!

Posted: **09 Dec 2005, 23:25**

Pizza is on me Claire

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 00:15**

May the Almighty God have mercy on you, and forgiving your sins, bring you to life everlasting. Amen.

May the Almighty and Merciful God grant you pardon, absolution, and remission of your sins.
Venial Sins

Recite 2266 Hail Marys and 73 Our Fathers.
Mortal Sins

Consider the implications of what you have done. You must take all steps possible to undo what has been done, and make right what you have done wrong.

You should fast for a total of 7 weeks. If this is too much to do at once due to the length of the fast, or infirmity, it is acceptable to break a fast into smaller sections. If you are unsure how long it is safe to fast for, consult a doctor.

If your sin also broke the law of the land in which you live, you must confess to the authorities.

I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

May the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, the merits of the Blessed Virgin Mary and of all the Saints, what good you have done or what evil you have suffered be to you for the remission of your sins, growth in grace and the reward of everlasting life. Amen.

Repenting is for the week.

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 00:15**

8 weeks on the fast stuff; 1,987 hairy marys (a good year 1987) ; and 52 daughters of the revolution.....or something like that.

and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.

the romans had the right idea: lion -food.

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 00:44**

eastmidswhizzkid wrote: and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.

You know, that doesn't sound a million miles away from Jerry Springer, p'raps someone should tell CV

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 01:36**

Zuma wrote:Pizza is on me Claire

Thanks!

I think coveting your pizza might have been one of my sins...

But there's something f**ked up here. I am never more evil than Lee. I can't have done this right...

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 13:58**

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:8 weeks on the fast stuff; 1,987 hairy marys (a good year 1987) ; and 52 daughters of the revolution.....or something like that.

and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.

the romans had the right idea: lion -food.

Are you a "Prodie" then EMWK, I can just see the next avitar, the head and star adorned in Red White and Blue hat and scarf with "Sisters 1690" written under it

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 16:11**

Recite 1042 Hail Marys and 66 Our Fathers.

You should fast for a total of 11 weeks.

NO s**t!

They think I've got nothing better to do or what???

Cripes...

IZ.

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 16:31**

boudicca wrote:
Zuma wrote:Pizza is on me Claire
Thanks!

I think coveting your pizza might have been one of my sins...

But there's something f**ked up here. I am never more evil than Lee. I can't have done this right...

It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 18:55**

Zuma wrote: It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...

Yeh, but the thing is, if you hadn't offered it freely, I'd have nicked it anyway

.
(And Indrek would probably have started knawing on the edge of the table)...

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 19:10**

boudicca wrote:
Zuma wrote: It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...
Yeh, but the thing is, if you hadn't offered it freely, I'd have nicked it anyway .
(And Indrek would probably have started knawing on the edge of the table)

You & Indrek were perched on the end of the table like a couple of Craws eyeing up Zumas pizza like it was a fresh cadaver you'd just flew over

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 19:24**

scotty wrote:
eastmidswhizzkid wrote:8 weeks on the fast stuff; 1,987 hairy marys (a good year 1987) ; and 52 daughters of the revolution.....or something like that.

and people really do believe this s**t - off they go and spill their guts out to some sweaty little bloke in a dress, who's cracking one off behind the screen, convinced that this makes it all better so they can commit exactly the same "sins" the next week.

the romans had the right idea: lion -food.
Are you a "Prodie" then EMWK, I can just see the next avitar, the head and star adorned in Red White and Blue hat and scarf with "Sisters 1690" written under it

naah, it's only in our little celtic colonies where you have to be signed up to one lot of god-botherers or the other - for life,regardless of whether you believe or not.
i did actually go to a CofE primary school, but anglicanism being such a wishy washy faith i managed to realise that it was a load of bollocks without being loaded down with any guilt.

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 19:33**

boudicca wrote:
Zuma wrote: It was not coveting anyway, it was shared amongst friends, so certainly not a sin...
Yeh, but the thing is, if you hadn't offered it freely, I'd have nicked it anyway .
(And Indrek would probably have started knawing on the edge of the table)...

Ok, being nice gets ye nowhere around here

Posted: **10 Dec 2005, 22:33**

Zuma wrote: Ok, being nice gets ye nowhere around here

You won't have to do so many Hail Marys tho'....

Heartland

Repent!

Repent!