Heartland

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:01**

Great to see Heartland coming back to life

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:02**

Indeed, I thought I was caught in a bad trip.

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:03**

Hello, hello, it's good to be back.

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:09**

So when it went down last night, I did actually go and check the Sisters' "Record News" page just in case the server had fallen over/melted in a torrent of postings...

Oh well...

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:10**

so typical. Once in a year, when I lie in bed with fever and every reading apart from HL would be too intellectual challenging, it closes its doors.

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:39**

Glad it's back

Hard times it were, as my other favourite forum was closed down as well

But now we can all sit back and relax again

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:46**

thank fook for that -lack of heartland has resulted in me having to spend today laying a vinyl-tiled floor (lino to you) in our hall, bathroom and bog.

's good to be back!

indeed.

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:50**

No HL meant having to do work at work (Yuk!)

and having to get pissed with the missus last night (

)

So, not all bad!!!

FYI May well get pissed again tonight to celebrate HL's return. Now that is what I call a plan

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 16:53**

streamline wrote:FYI May well get pissed again tonight to celebrate HL's return. Now that is what I call a plan

That's the spirit

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 17:06**

streamline wrote:No HL meant having to do work at work (Yuk!)

Aye

A graph of my productivity today:

Code: Select all

|    __
|  _/  \
|_/     \
|        \
|_________\

You get the idea.

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 18:23**

Absence makes the heart grow fonder 'n' aw that.

God but we're a sad lot!

(and yes, I am speaking for myself

)

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 19:20**

Found this explanation on-line.

mediaresource.net wrote: Productivity levels hit a record high in several offices today due to a mysterious computer bug.

The sharp surge in efficiency was put down to the collapse of the pernicious "Heartland", a virtual location famed for its destructive impact on professional and social lives.

A wave of redundancies is due to follow in the coming weeks after large numbers of work-shy skivers - spread all over the UK, Europe and even as far away as Australia - unwisely drew attention to themselves by doing some work in the office.

Bosses united as one: "We didn't even notice we were employing this lot until they pulled their fingers out.

"We know we can manage without their efforts - let's face it, we have done for years in some cases - so we will be introducing practical economies at the earliest available opportunity."

There was relief later in the day when Heartland finally returned to life and productivity returned to normal levels.

"The extra energy expended by staff actually doing their jobs across the country was draining the National Grid," admitted a red-faced official.

"We're only used to the low-lying hum of a PC, not actual work being done."

In a delicious irony, electricity to continue to power the computers which run Heartland was imported from France, a nation long scorned by the mysterious 'Von', leader of the cult.

This follows an unexpected rapprochement which will see this seldom-sighted creature make a public appearance in Paris this spring. With all the cliches that should inspire.

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 19:40**

@andymackem

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 20:10**

Wot James said

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 20:36**

thank you andymackem. chills of laughter made quite a nice change to chills by ague.

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 20:47**

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 22:18**

Reuters, I take it?

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 22:34**

Didn't notice anything. Busy working

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 22:37**

i too was unaware of the tragedy unfolding

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 22:43**

emilystrange wrote:i too was unaware of the tragedy unfolding

Oh my God Em's it was horrible, I was lost, I started speaking to Mags, I picked up and started to read a Book, I got up of my erse and made a cup of tea for us both

, thank fcuk things are back to normal now

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 22:49**

scotty wrote:Oh my God Em's it was horrible, I was lost, I started speaking to Mags, I picked up and started to read a Book, I got up of my erse and made a cup of tea for us both , thank fcuk things are back to normal now

see my post on the Ghost Dance forum

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 22:50**

*smacks boys*

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 23:02**

thank you Miss

Posted: **31 Jan 2006, 23:43**

Good bloody job I'd swallowed the mouthful of beer before I read that.

Very good Mr Mackem. You should write for Viz.

Heartland

The Return of the Heartland

The Return of the Heartland