forgive me
David beckham rings michael jackson in his hotel room and says michael we believe you are innocent.....
after the trial would you like to take a trip on my new yacht!
Absolutely replies Michael I cant wait to come on your little Cruz.
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A: Get out of my sun!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men??
A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper?
A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.
Q: How do we know Michael is guilty?
A: Several children have fingered him.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart?
A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson?
A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.
Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.
Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night?
A. Hanson.
Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne?
A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.
Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson?
A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a perfect "10"?
A: Two 5 year olds.
Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night...
Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight?
Michael: Yeah, ok, can we get Aladdin?
Janet: No, just a pizza and video
Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years?
A: Michael Jackson
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing?
A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q: What do Michael and homework have in common?
A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids
FBI have raided Michael Jackson's house... They found class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his living room and Class 5C in his bedroom.
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?"
"I'd wait until he's at least 14" the doctor replies.
23-March-05 The Inevitable Michael Jackson Jokes
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James Blast
- Banned
- Posts: 24699
- Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
- Location: back from some place else
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele
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markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
- Posts: 21181
- Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
- Location: st custards
- Contact:
True story: Last week, a colleague of mrs fiend did a "global e-mail" to everyone in the college where she works with a similar list.
Everyone. Principal, governors, the lot.
That has to be the funniest way to lose a job in history...
Everyone. Principal, governors, the lot.
That has to be the funniest way to lose a job in history...
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
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Brideoffrankenstein
- Overbomber
- Posts: 2883
- Joined: 15 Jan 2004, 01:51
Why did Michael Jackson become addicted to painkillers?
They stopped him from going "Ow!"
*ahem*
They stopped him from going "Ow!"
*ahem*
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eastmidswhizzkid
- Faster Than The Light Of Speed
- Posts: 9876
- Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
- Location: WhizzWorld
- Contact:
michael jackson gets home from court to find his girlfriend packing her bags."i'm leaving you" she sobs,"you can't expect me to live with a paedophile.""paedophile?"says michael;"that's a big word for an eight year old!"
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"
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markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
- Posts: 21181
- Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
- Location: st custards
- Contact:
Where does Michael Jackson go on holiday?
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Tampa
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Tampa
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
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Izzy HaveMercy
- The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
- Posts: 8844
- Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
- Location: Long Dark Forties
- Contact:
Why did Michael Jacson cross the road?
He saw a kid blowing Bubbles and he wanted to join in.
IZ.
He saw a kid blowing Bubbles and he wanted to join in.
IZ.