http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee1FNaMk4U0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7CyrZ6cCho
Star Wars Screen Tests
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... 769907&n=2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee1FNaMk4U0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7CyrZ6cCho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ee1FNaMk4U0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7CyrZ6cCho
David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skilfully mounts the horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.
Victoria admiringly watches her husband. After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.
Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.
David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!
Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.
Victoria admiringly watches her husband. After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.
Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.
David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness. Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!
Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
-
James Blast
- Banned
- Posts: 24699
- Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
- Location: back from some place else
ye want lame joke?
here's wan -
A guy goes to the local County Council to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him "Have you been in the service?"
"Yes" he says. "I was in the Lebanon for three years."
The interviewer says "That will give you extra points towards employment" and then asks, " Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes 100%.....a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy, "Ok you're hired. The hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm. Start tomorrow, and you can come in at 10.00am."
The guy is puzzled and asks "If the hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm then why do you want me to come in at 10.00am"
The interviewer replies "This is a council job, for the first 2 hours we sit around scratching our balls, there's no point you coming in for that".
Ta-daa!
here's wan -
A guy goes to the local County Council to apply for a job.
The interviewer asks him "Have you been in the service?"
"Yes" he says. "I was in the Lebanon for three years."
The interviewer says "That will give you extra points towards employment" and then asks, " Are you disabled in any way?"
The guy says, "Yes 100%.....a mortar round exploded near me and blew my testicles off."
The interviewer tells the guy, "Ok you're hired. The hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm. Start tomorrow, and you can come in at 10.00am."
The guy is puzzled and asks "If the hours are from 8.00am to 4.00pm then why do you want me to come in at 10.00am"
The interviewer replies "This is a council job, for the first 2 hours we sit around scratching our balls, there's no point you coming in for that".
Ta-daa!
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele
On the Star Wars vibe, here's a good 'un:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAz6XUXs ... ed&search=
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAz6XUXs ... ed&search=
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
And another, in blatant violation of The Rules:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3stBbiy ... tar%20wars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3stBbiy ... tar%20wars
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
