An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi, "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Villager: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Villager: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Villager: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Villager: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: “How does he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Villager: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Villager: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."
Juli 3rd A.D.2006, ventriloquist
- Izzy HaveMercy
- The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
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A bà à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à d joke, that one
IZ.
IZ.
Aye, it's a Forres man talks to an Elgin Mans Dug up hereIzzy HaveMercy wrote:A bà à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à à d joke, that one
IZ.
Being brave is coming home at 2am half drunk, smelling of perfume, climbing into bed, slapping the wife on the arse and saying,"right fatty, you're next!!"
that was a good one
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
Okay, I admit I´m not really famous for knowing the latest jokes..
But as jesus liked it, we may see the new Testament may be rewritten, concerning the role of sheepherders?
But as jesus liked it, we may see the new Testament may be rewritten, concerning the role of sheepherders?
"These are my principles! And if you don't like the just says so, I have others, too!"
~Rufus T. Firefly
~Rufus T. Firefly
- Ozpat
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eotunun wrote: Okay, I admit I´m not really famous for knowing the latest jokes..
But as jesus liked it, we may see the new Testament may be rewritten, concerning the role of sheepherders?
"as we walk on the floodland"
- Obviousman
- Outside the Simian Flock
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Nope, the farmer was DutchOzpat wrote:
That one has been doing its rounds here as well but slightly different.
The animal was a pig and the farmer was Belgian...
I thought the farmer was Pontius, from the coastal area in Black Sea...
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."