Jan 16 2007: CNN reporter

[Izzy HaveMercy]

Question by CNN reporter:

'What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?'

Answer by Marine Sniper:

'Recoil.'

IZ.

[esox]

A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into Asda in Dundee with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The door greeter says, "Good Morning and welcome to Asda. Nice children you've got there - are they twins?"
The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of course they bloody aren't! The oldest, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you think they look alike, ya dickead?"
"Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would sh&g you twice!"

[bushman*pm]

Two old ladies sitting on a bench outside their 'Shady Pines' nursing home enjoying a cigarette when it starts to rain. One of the ladies pulls a condom out of her pocket, cuts the end off it and covers her cigarette so that she can continue her enjoyment.
The other lady enquires what is that rubber item as she had a rather sheltered upbringing and was told it is called a condom and that you can get them from the chemist.
Thinking that it seemed a good idea she goes to the local chemist and asks the spotty yoof behind the counter for a pack of condoms. The boy is both embarressed and bemused at the request and enquires what she wants it for at her age and then passes out when she replies

'Its for my camels'