I swears blind the following story is true...
Purina Cat Food Diet:-
I was in Tesco buying a large bag of Purina for my cat and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked me if I had a cat...
(DUHHHH!!!)
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO and that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital the last time. BUT, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her).
Horrified, she asked if something in the cat food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said "Oh, NO! I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me."
I thought the tall guy in back of the line was going to have to be carried out.
05/09/2007 Purina Cat Food
- silentNate
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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I had a face on the mirror
I had a hand on the gun
I had a place in the sun and a ticket to Syria
I had a hand on the gun
I had a place in the sun and a ticket to Syria
- Izzy HaveMercy
- The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
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Priceless!
IZ.
IZ.
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
OMFG
- bushman*pm
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I think thats the best summary but just missing a fewPista wrote:OMFG
LAND ROVER: THE BEAST FOUR BY FOUR BY FEAR! KICKS THE ARSE OFF RICEBURNERS!
- Obviousman
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Great
Another funny thing for supermarkets (but there have to be two of you to do this) is when you see someone taking something off the shelves and then go 'Oooh, remember last time aunt X had that' to which the other person replies 'Oh yes, she got quite ill', and continue the story from there. Works rather good
Another funny thing for supermarkets (but there have to be two of you to do this) is when you see someone taking something off the shelves and then go 'Oooh, remember last time aunt X had that' to which the other person replies 'Oh yes, she got quite ill', and continue the story from there. Works rather good
- Izzy HaveMercy
- The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
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Or make yerself a container with 'Contains Human Organs' written on the side, then enter the supermarket and ask the butcher if he still has some fresh pork trotters left. Tell him it's urgent and you are in a hurry.
IZ.
IZ.