In a similar vein of true & funny this one has been doing the rounds:
Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.
Many folks DID hear this on Talk FM yesterday morning. The DJ plays a game where they award really good prizes. The game is called Mate Match.
The DJ calls someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked three random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification.
If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. This is what happened.
(see Part 2)
DJ: "Morning! This is Chris Tarrant on Talk FM.
Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando , Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married ?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name?
First only please."
Brian: "Sarah."
DJ: "Is Sarah at work, Brian?"
Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian...Question 2 - And how long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Whoo! You really want that trip, don't you mate? No one would ever have said that if this trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice, I work at Longbridge Rover."
DJ: "Okay...we'll try our best for you Bri ~ Final question.
Whereabouts did
you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well...er er"
DJ: "This sounds pretty good, Brian. Where was it, in bed, the shower?"
Brian: "No Chris ~ it was on the kitchen table."
DJ: " Brilliant Well done ~ Okay folks, I'm gonna put Brian on hold, while we call up Brian's wife Sarah.. You listen to this ~ back in a mo"
[Three minutes of commercials follow.]
DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"
DJ: <ring, ring> "Hi, is that Sarah?"
Sarah: "Speaking"
DJ: "Morning Sarah, this is Chris Tarrant from Talk FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with your hubbie Brian. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose.
Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
DJ: " Now, I will ask you three questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando , Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World Sea World.
Free Golf ~ The whole shooting match.
Got that Sarah?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes ~ sounds great."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Probably about 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question... How long did it last?"
Sarah: "BRIAAAAN I'll kill you ~ about 15 minutes I would guess, it was just a quickie (giggles) Brian's always a bit frisky first thing."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah.
You are one question away from a trip to Florida . Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
<choked laughter>
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! please, you didn't tell them, did you..I can't tell 'em that?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: Come on now Sarah don't be shy remember Florida .....Where did you have it?
Sarah: "In my bum....."
After a long pause, the DJ said,
"Listeners...we'll be back right after this" (jingle commercial break)
