Wonderful English from Around the World:
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge , Norway :
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome :
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok :
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES ....
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Hotel , Yugoslavia :
THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE
IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
Hotel , Japan :
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET
COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY.
A sign posted in Germany 's Black Forest :
IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE THAT PEOPLE
OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE
TENT UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.
Hotel, Zurich :
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX
IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS
PURPOSE.
Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand :
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
Airline ticket office, Copenhagen :
WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
A laundry in Rome :
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
IZ.
November 11, 2011 - Wonderful English From Around The World
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Izzy HaveMercy
- The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
- Posts: 8844
- Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
- Location: Long Dark Forties
- Contact:
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by latest Methodist
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream
In a hotel in Madrid:
If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence please cry out for the chambermaid.
In a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Lisbon Hotel:
If you wish for breakfast, lift the telephone and ask for room service. This will be enough for you to bring your food up.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Ladies may have a fit upstairs
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results
In a Rhodes tailor shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by latest Methodist
In a Swiss mountain inn:
Special today - no ice cream
In a hotel in Madrid:
If you wish disinfection enacted in your presence please cry out for the chambermaid.
In a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Lisbon Hotel:
If you wish for breakfast, lift the telephone and ask for room service. This will be enough for you to bring your food up.
In a Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
-
damagedone
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 589
- Joined: 04 Jul 2010, 19:25
- Location: from around
-
originalgoth
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 502
- Joined: 05 Mar 2006, 03:15
- Location: Originally from NOTTINGHAM
- Contact:
Thanks for these gems
And I ride down the Highway 101
By the side of the ocean, headed for Sunset
Black Planet according to originalGoth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hYeYgNIntQ
By the side of the ocean, headed for Sunset
Black Planet according to originalGoth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hYeYgNIntQ
-
originalgoth
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 502
- Joined: 05 Mar 2006, 03:15
- Location: Originally from NOTTINGHAM
- Contact:
These 2 are probably my favourite ones.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
No Sh*t Sherlock
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
Could be a lot worse I guess.......
It could have been on a billboard and printed in Brail and aimed at blind people
Are you blind and cannot read? If so we can help
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi :
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
No Sh*t Sherlock
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
Could be a lot worse I guess.......
It could have been on a billboard and printed in Brail and aimed at blind people
Are you blind and cannot read? If so we can help
And I ride down the Highway 101
By the side of the ocean, headed for Sunset
Black Planet according to originalGoth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hYeYgNIntQ
By the side of the ocean, headed for Sunset
Black Planet according to originalGoth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hYeYgNIntQ
i translate that for you...
CAUTION
THIS SIGN HAS SHARP EDGES
DO NOT TOUCH THE EDGES
also the bridge ahead
has been collapsed
'Are we the Baddies?'...
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
"Someday! Someday, everything you need, is just gonna fall out of the sky..." -A.E. Reading 1991
"Don't forget that most of the judges in witches trials had harvard degrees."
-
originalgoth
- Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
- Posts: 502
- Joined: 05 Mar 2006, 03:15
- Location: Originally from NOTTINGHAM
- Contact:
Well, it's nice to know that England isn't the only country where the 'Ealf & Safety loonies are getting worked up about the slightest thing!!!!!!!!!!!!iesus wrote:
i translate that for you...
CAUTION
THIS SIGN HAS SHARP EDGES
DO NOT TOUCH THE EDGES
also the bridge ahead
has been collapsed
I'm glad you translated that sign for us iesus,
I might have been very tempted to rub the edges of it had I not known what it says.
And I ride down the Highway 101
By the side of the ocean, headed for Sunset
Black Planet according to originalGoth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hYeYgNIntQ
By the side of the ocean, headed for Sunset
Black Planet according to originalGoth
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hYeYgNIntQ
