Nov 21 2010 - Truths For Mature Humans

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Izzy HaveMercy
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By Richard Pini, of Elfquest fame...




1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty,and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey- but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

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James Blast
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:lol:
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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Izzy HaveMercy
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I particularly like #13.

I have 15 Cubase-projects from the same song because I'm never sure why Cubase asks to save the changes before I close a project :lol:

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Pista
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#15 is so true.

It's similar to the instances of calling someone, getting the engaged tone, then calling again no more than a few seconds later to have it ring for ever.

Usually happens with our IT department.
Cheers.
Steve
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Izzy HaveMercy
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Pista wrote:#15 is so true.

It's similar to the instances of calling someone, getting the engaged tone, then calling again no more than a few seconds later to have it ring for ever.

Usually happens with our IT department.
That's weird yes, mister Pini is not really at grips with the modern cellphone world or so it seems :lol: might be that the other person is just spilling his beans on your voicemail of course... ;)

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Bartek
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:lol: and most of are true.
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Quiff Boy
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Bartek wrote::lol: and most of are true.
yep. i recognise at least 23 of those... :urff: :lol:
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damagedone
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Damn,it's all true :D
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Debaser
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#25's got me into many an embarrassing moment.
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markfiend
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Debaser wrote:#25's got me into many an embarrassing moment.
Hm. Me too.

Especially when you do that half-laugh half-"yeah!" thing and it turns out they said that they've just been diagnosed with a terminal disease or something.

:urff: Hearing loss is a bitch.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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Izzy HaveMercy
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It is Mark, so protect it, it's precioussss!

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markfiend
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:| the damage has been done. Too many loud clubs/gigs in my youth (not to mention the over-loud headphones).

TBH I think it's partly genetic too; my dad has hearing loss and his dad before him was almost totally deaf by the time he died.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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Izzy HaveMercy
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markfiend wrote::| the damage has been done. Too many loud clubs/gigs in my youth (not to mention the over-loud headphones).

TBH I think it's partly genetic too; my dad has hearing loss and his dad before him was almost totally deaf by the time he died.
The genetics can't be altered that is true, and 'damage done' cannot be reversed, but ear protection now and turning the volume down can and will prevent even further damage.

But that's more something for General Chat, not JOTD (since tinnitus is no joke of course)

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markfiend
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Yeah true.

Back to the jokes folks. 8)
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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James Blast
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pardon?
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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markfiend
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James Blast wrote:pardon?
Quarter past three.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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James Blast
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thanks
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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markfiend
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You set 'em up, I'll knock 'em down ;D
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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James Blast
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pardon?
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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markfiend
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markfiend wrote:
James Blast wrote:pardon?
Quarter past three.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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James Blast
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I thought Ken might say rotary
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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markfiend
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pardon?
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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James Blast
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nearly half eight son, pubs'l be closin' soon
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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paul
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#2 happens to me on a regular base... and my wife turns out to be right :urff:
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