I bought a car off Bonnie Tyler last year. It generally runs OK, but every now and then it falls apart.
It was so cold this morning I had to scrape the ice off my windscreen with my Homebase discount card. It wasn't much use though. I only got 10% off.
Jokes stolen from Popbitch mailout 07 Jan 2011
-
Izzy HaveMercy
- The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
- Posts: 8844
- Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
- Location: Long Dark Forties
- Contact:
I said to the train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I was on telly once but I'm no Dean Martin".
So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
IZ.
So I rang up British Telecom, I said "I want to report a nuisance caller", he said "Not you again".
Four fonts walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"
IZ.
-
markfiend
- goriller of form 3b
- Posts: 21181
- Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
- Location: st custards
- Contact:
I went on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. Never again.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
—Bertrand Russell
-
EvilBastard
- Overbomber
- Posts: 3934
- Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
- Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
I went to sort out a loan for my new bakery the other day. Gave the bank manager the business plan, projections, everything, and he asked what sort of turnover I expected to make.
I told him "apple".
4 mushrooms walked into the same bar that the fonts had just been kicked out of. The barman said, "Push off, we don't want your sort in here."
"But why not?" the mushrooms asked. "We're fun guys!"
I told him "apple".
4 mushrooms walked into the same bar that the fonts had just been kicked out of. The barman said, "Push off, we don't want your sort in here."
"But why not?" the mushrooms asked. "We're fun guys!"
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Hank Moody
-
James Blast
- Banned
- Posts: 24699
- Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
- Location: back from some place else
Man walks into a bar, shouts "Ooooyah baisturt!"
it was an iron bar
it was an iron bar
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
~ Peter Steele