care homes

[elamanamou]

My elderly auntie is in a private care home paying the £1,500 per week! Not a care home it's a business when the care assistants get minimum wage!! I admire all care staff for what they have to do and long working hours. My auntie where she lives is like a 5* hotel. Someone is making a profit and the money isn't going where it should - The staff!! You can understand why there is a shortage of staff!! RIP OFF!!

[Microcosmia]

My mum is in one and the costs can be crippling. Every change of management brings an increase in charges. You really need to watch the bills very closely. We discovered we were being billed over €150 per month just for newspapers alone. It was assumed she'd want them even though she hasn't been able to read for the last 3 years. The papers were being read by visitors in the dayroom and muggins here was paying for them! We were billed too for other sundries like bottled water she neither wanted nor drank. It's a nice place though and the staff are very caring but not paid nearly enough for what they do. .

[markfiend]

"Someone is making a profit" - well that's the problem isn't it? Because of privatisation these places are, yes, run as businesses. So along comes your CEO to rake off a huge cut from the top, while the people doing the actual work get a pittance.

Welcome to capitalism.

[markfiend]

€150 per month just for newspapers alone. [...] The papers were being read by visitors in the dayroom and muggins here was paying for them!

I wonder, if you looked into it, just how many other residents' families were paying €150 a month for newspapers.

[Bartek]

"Someone is making a profit" - well that's the problem isn't it? Because of privatisation these places are, yes, run as businesses. So along comes your CEO to rake off a huge cut from the top, while the people doing the actual work get a pittance.

Welcome to capitalism.

I see this from perspetive of PL where aging society is now a problem that going to be even bigger in forseeable future. Knowing that cost of pesions alone can and will be defastating for state budget. Knowing that people are not willing to pay even more taxes (because it all goes to motherfuck3rs in a motorcade, didn't most of us see taxes like that?), at least part privatisation of long term care for eldery people is simply a must. Some, maybe, will be run by NGO, non-profit organization, but there is a huge money in there, so no wonder that some people will put money have their share in that cake and return of their investment. But doing something like this, charging people for services and products that weren't really used is just trying to be sharpy and cannot be accepted.

[Norman Hunter]

I can't remember the cost of my Grandad Frank being in a care home, but my overriding memory is of other residents being left for days, weeks - even months - without visitors. My Mum or Stepdad tried to get to see him everyday, as well as taking him out additionally to the planned trips etc. I would prioritise a visit to him as soon as I got back from Uni as he loved to talk football - his Liverpool v my Leeds.

He spent his last days surrounded by those who love him and although is was fifteen years ago, I still miss him - and my other Grandparents every f**king day.

Make the most of them while they are here

[Microcosmia]

€150 per month just for newspapers alone. [...] The papers were being read by visitors in the dayroom and muggins here was paying for them!

I wonder, if you looked into it, just how many other residents' families were paying €150 a month for newspapers.

Well, it was another family who advised us to get a full breakdown of charges and when we did we spotted this and more besides. Up to that we questioned nothing. There was no profit for the home in providing these things, just no benefit to my mum, had she benefitted I'd have been happy with it.

[Microcosmia]

I can't remember the cost of my Grandad Frank being in a care home, but my overriding memory is of other residents being left for days, weeks - even months - without visitors. My Mum or Stepdad tried to get to see him everyday, as well as taking him out additionally to the planned trips etc. I would prioritise a visit to him as soon as I got back from Uni as he loved to talk football - his Liverpool v my Leeds.

He spent his last days surrounded by those who love him and although is was fifteen years ago, I still miss him - and my other Grandparents every f**king day.

Make the most of them while they are here

And you are right, it isn't all about costs and profits. It's so sad to think of people getting no visits. I'm lucky I can visit often as I'm nearby and the home is like an extension of the community. Two of her school friends are there too. I really couldn't have her anywhere else.

Sorry for your loss

[elamanamou]

Sorry for your loss. My auntie who's 89 has been good to me all her life. So now I like to help her the yrs she has left. She lives 134 miles away from me but I like to visit every couple of weeks. She really loves the carehome because she thinks it's for free!! She can get cranky and has a wicked sense of humour.I think I take after her in her ways!! One carehome I looked at wanted a deposit of £100,000. She is lucky she hasn't got dementia. A little forgetful because she still thinks I live in Newmarket!! Bless

[Microcosmia]

Sorry for your loss. My auntie who's 89 has been good to me all her life. So now I like to help her the yrs she has left. She lives 134 miles away from me but I like to visit every couple of weeks. She really loves the carehome because she thinks it's for free!! She can get cranky and has a wicked sense of humour.I think I take after her in her ways!! One carehome I looked at wanted a deposit of £100,000. She is lucky she hasn't got dementia. A little forgetful because she still thinks I live in Newmarket!! Bless

Wow £100k deposit

Your auntie sounds lovely

[elamanamou]

Sorry for your loss. My auntie who's 89 has been good to me all her life. So now I like to help her the yrs she has left. She lives 134 miles away from me but I like to visit every couple of weeks. She really loves the carehome because she thinks it's for free!! She can get cranky and has a wicked sense of humour.I think I take after her in her ways!! One carehome I looked at wanted a deposit of £100,000. She is lucky she hasn't got dementia. A little forgetful because she still thinks I live in Newmarket!! Bless

Wow £100k deposit

Your auntie sounds lovely

Yes she is It's best to spend your money because if you have money carehomes will take it!!

[Norman Hunter]

Thank you one-and-all

I didn't mean to derail the main thread of the topic, I just can't stress enough how we should all make the most of our relatives. Enjoy them while they're here!

[elamanamou]

Norman Hunter. You haven't derailed the main thread. It's very important to cherish our times with our loved ones. The biggest wreath means nothing!! Make the effort to see them while there here-

[Swinnow]

With all due respect to all posts above and the experiences contained within. I do feel for you all.

In recent weeks I have lost both my Mum and my Nan (Grandmother), both of whom where resident in care homes on the Wirral.

My Nan was well over a hundred when she passed and had a full and fantastic life. She only needed minimal care in her last few months and this was provided in a kindly and professional way by the staff at her home. The cost was largely covered by her pension (not excessive) and we have no issues as a family.

Mum suffered rapid onset dementia and had to enter a specialist EMI (elderly mentally infirm) unit and died quite quickly. We have no concerns about her care as it was exemplary. We do, however, have issues about the costs. We, as a family, were paying many hundred pounds per week for this care above and beyond her pensions. This in a country we think provides care from cradle to the grave.

We were lucky in that we, as a group, could afford the additional costs, but I really do fear for those who cannot. The UK really needs to look at itself and care for a generation now passing that we all owe so much to.

Hippy liberal rant over x

[Microcosmia]

With all due respect to all posts above and the experiences contained within. I do feel for you all.

In recent weeks I have lost both my Mum and my Nan (Grandmother), both of whom where resident in care homes on the Wirral.

My Nan was well over a hundred when she passed and had a full and fantastic life. She only needed minimal care in her last few months and this was provided in a kindly and professional way by the staff at her home. The cost was largely covered by her pension (not excessive) and we have no issues as a family.

Mum suffered rapid onset dementia and had to enter a specialist EMI (elderly mentally infirm) unit and died quite quickly. We have no concerns about her care as it was exemplary. We do, however, have issues about the costs. We, as a family, were paying many hundred pounds per week for this care above and beyond her pensions. This in a country we think provides care from cradle to the grave.

We were lucky in that we, as a group, could afford the additional costs, but I really do fear for those who cannot. The UK really needs to look at itself and care for a generation now passing that we all owe so much to.

Hippy liberal rant over x

Swinnow, I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother and grandmother, and in such a short space of time too.

I'm not in the UK so I'm not entirely familiar with how the system works there. Like you I would be fearful for those who can't afford the costs of care their older relatives might need. My own mum has decent pensions and the state contribution too but there is still a significant sum (similar to what your family were paying) to be met per week for her care. That's separate of the monthly bills for services and sundry charges. I don't have siblings to share the cost with so it's always a concern that if I got ill or lost my job it would threaten her continued care, and I don't even want to think about what would happen then.

She has dementia too and I wouldn't change anything about her care. She needs to be in the home which is part of the community. She gets lots of local visitors in addition to us and that means a lot.

[paint it black]

saw this thread titile and got all excited the sisters had announced their next tour!

oh well.

[Microcosmia]

saw this thread titile and got all excited the sisters had announced their next tour!

oh well.

Maybe that's what he meant by singing the songs in a new way?

I ever win the lottery maybe I'll open my own in some bleak spot. The Black Planet Care Home. A Daniel O' Donnell free zone.

[markfiend]

The UK really needs to look at itself and care for a generation now passing that we all owe so much to.

True that.

Sorry to hear of your loss mate.

[Pista]

Hugs to Swinnow & Norman Hunter from here too

[elamanamou]

Sorry to hear of your loss

[nowayjose]

We do, however, have issues about the costs. We, as a family, were paying many hundred pounds per week for this care above and beyond her pensions. This in a country we think provides care from cradle to the grave.

Same here (Germany). The state will pay but first they'll go for the person's funds, then for the children. In some way that'd be ok, if the cost weren't so high and salaries in the care industry so ridiculously low with miserable working conditions. Someone must be pocketing all that money.

[SmileySister]

Sorry for your loss Swinnow & Norman Hunter.

My parents died many years ago so I have no idea what you're all going through in relation to care homes. I just know that you have to make every day count.
I was blessed to have fabulous parents but that just makes it harder when they're taken so soon and in such tragic circumstances

[EmmaPeelWannaBe]

But also easier I think Smiley. Your grief was uncomplicated by that whole toxic sludge that loss can bring up when the relationship wasn't good. I was lucky, even though I too lost my parents along time ago, like yours they were nice people and we were very close. I just had to cope with the sadness. There want any resentment or guilt.
Hugs to both of you Swinnow & Norman Hunter.

[Being645]

My hugs to Swinnow & Norman Hunter too ... ... especially to Swinnow ... it's quite changing to lose two beloved ones within such a short time,
but it's good to know they were in good hands and didn't suffer, unnecessarily.

Also hugs to SmileySister ... I had that sort of shock and sadness when my brother died a few years ago with the opening of the motorbike season ...
that was very saddening, but my parents are still alive and I don't know what I will be doing when that changes.
And the day will come ... basically I prefer not to think of it, but then again, I see no other way than taking things as they are when they come,
with or without care home and whatever. I only wish that it might take a long, long time until I have to face it... ...

Care homes can be really wonderful places, though some are not and not only for the horrendous cost, the lack of personnel and the low pay.
Those lucky enough to be in a good care home are really given a dignified finale, and that's what everyone deserves, no matter what they've been in their life,
though it's not necessarily their relatives to give it to them. In some cases that were clearly asking for too much.

My grandmother would rather have killed herself than going to a care home, though. She died at home (in 2005 already), peacefully, beloved and well cared for
and things were just the way she wanted them to be. I will always be grateful to her Turkish neighbour Songül who took good part of the care upon her.
Nobody could have done it like her. Her presence was really a decree of fate, a hand of God, an entire relieve to all of us.

The places where people are almost always treated with love and respect and given every care they need, IMHO, are the hospices for the terminally ill.
And these are not like care homes, expensive and so on, but paid for in Germany, as far as I know. Also, terminal care usually starts on an outpatient basis
turning to stationary only, when the time has come.

[elamanamou]

Love to all x