The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
Post Reply
User avatar
Charlie
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1492
Joined: 27 Mar 2017, 19:12
Location: Yorkshire

Well this is bonkers! Chocolate always goes on top!

This is nearly as bad as putting milk in before the tea :eek:
Top
User avatar
million voices
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1005
Joined: 10 May 2006, 22:31
Location: The Ballrooms Of Mars

I thought the chocolate was on the top - that is totally logical Captain

But I also put my milk in before my tea - that is also logical

With coffee the milk goes in after

There has to be an order to the Universe
Well you must know something
'Cos we're dying of admiration here
Mastering obscure alternatives
Top
User avatar
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21181
Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:
Contact markfiend

No, I mean, you obviously hold the biscuit with the chocolate on top!

But that is upside-down.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
Top
User avatar
Swinnow
Overbomber
Posts: 3551
Joined: 15 Mar 2005, 08:51
Location: In the Gazebo Of Badness, just outside BD3

Agree totally with million voices, well said sir / madam.
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
Top
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3933
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

1. The chocolate goes on the top. It is a topping. Otherwise it would be called a "chocolate bottoming", and I don't think we want any of that sort of talk in here, thank you very much.

2. Chocolate-smeared digital extremities may be avoided by holding the biscuit by the edge. Honestly, people, I really didn't think you needed to have this spelled out for you.

3. Milk goes in before the tea if you are using a teapot, otherwise it goes in afterwards. Anyone who pours the milk in before removing the tea-bag will be taken outside and left there and forced to eat Pink Wafers.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Top
User avatar
Charlie
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1492
Joined: 27 Mar 2017, 19:12
Location: Yorkshire

EvilBastard wrote:1. The chocolate goes on the top. It is a topping. Otherwise it would be called a "chocolate bottoming", and I don't think we want any of that sort of talk in here, thank you very much.

2. Chocolate-smeared digital extremities may be avoided by holding the biscuit by the edge. Honestly, people, I really didn't think you needed to have this spelled out for you.

3. Milk goes in before the tea if you are using a teapot, otherwise it goes in afterwards. Anyone who pours the milk in before removing the tea-bag will be taken outside and left there and forced to eat Pink Wafers.
Agreed :notworthy:
Just the mere thought of an exposed tea-bag coming into direct contact with milk has brought me out in a cold sweat :eek:
Top
User avatar
Swinnow
Overbomber
Posts: 3551
Joined: 15 Mar 2005, 08:51
Location: In the Gazebo Of Badness, just outside BD3

Yorkshire tea bags too 😊
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
Top
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3933
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Swinnow wrote:Yorkshire tea bags too 😊
Indeed. But Yorkshire teabags are so rock that if they caught you putting the milk in before taking them out they would smack the milk so hard that it would curdle.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Top
User avatar
million voices
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1005
Joined: 10 May 2006, 22:31
Location: The Ballrooms Of Mars

Regarding the orientation of the choccie biccie

One wants to inscribe "f**k YOU" and somebody for some reason has eaten all the pink wafers.
Which way up would you have the choccie biccies facing to make your statement?
The answer is obvious.

I also do not like pink wafers they do take up space that could be used far much more productively in a selection box
The name is also off-putting. "The Pink Wafers" sounds reminiscent of sixties psychedelic rock. Which I am not adverse to but not with my cup of tea.
Well you must know something
'Cos we're dying of admiration here
Mastering obscure alternatives
Top
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3933
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

million voices wrote:Regarding the orientation of the choccie biccie

One wants to inscribe "f**k YOU" and somebody for some reason has eaten all the pink wafers.
Which way up would you have the choccie biccies facing to make your statement?
The answer is obvious.
In theory it's obvious, but you might lay out the chocolate biscuits choccie-side-down and then use a single biccie choccie-side-up to make the "o" in "you".
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Top
Microcosmia
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 363
Joined: 28 Oct 2015, 02:22
Location: Dublin

I love this thread


(but do we need an emoticon for "munch"?) :lol:
Top
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3933
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
Top
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
Top
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17627
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
Contact Pista

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
Tea in a....*gulp* BAG? :?
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days
TheCureCommunity
Top
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

Pista wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
Tea in a....*gulp* BAG? :?
I'm American, we're a uncouth lot.
Top
User avatar
Swinnow
Overbomber
Posts: 3551
Joined: 15 Mar 2005, 08:51
Location: In the Gazebo Of Badness, just outside BD3

Ahh, from the banana republic lol.

"Get your tanks off my lawn"

Mind you, rather an American than a brexiteer 😉
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
Top
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

Swinnow wrote:Ahh, from the banana republic lol.

"Get your tanks off my lawn"

Mind you, rather an American than a brexiteer 😉
Oooh can we send you the fascist tangerine (and will you keep him)?
Top
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

NO, and NO.
:D
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
Top
User avatar
Swinnow
Overbomber
Posts: 3551
Joined: 15 Mar 2005, 08:51
Location: In the Gazebo Of Badness, just outside BD3

And thrice No
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
Top
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

How about if i sweeten the deal and throw in a few states?
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
Top
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

nope!
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
Top
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

and some really great chocolate chip biscuits?
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
Top
User avatar
Alex66
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 271
Joined: 25 Mar 2015, 09:06
Location: Ne Where Every Where
Contact:
Contact Alex66

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:and some really great chocolate chip biscuits?
Tell us more about these chocolate chip biscuits?
If you want to get rid of a few states why not force one of them to go it alone, then chuck the orange one there as El Presidente and we can send that c... Fararge as he seems to like him.
Nope don't want him.
The illiterate of the future will not be the man who cannot read the alphabet, but the one who cannot take a photograph. - Walter Benjamin
Driver powered by Cigarettes, Caffeine and Vitriol
Top
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

Alex66 wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:and some really great chocolate chip biscuits?
Tell us more about these chocolate chip biscuits?
If you want to get rid of a few states why not force one of them to go it alone, then chuck the orange one there as El Presidente and we can send that c... Fararge as he seems to like him.
Nope don't want him.

ok I'll include pie. all of our strategic pie reserves.
Top
User avatar
Chaotican
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 347
Joined: 21 Nov 2008, 17:48
Location: San Francisco

Pista wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
Tea in a....*gulp* BAG? :?
(Glad this thread is still thriving...)

Remember when the American Tea Party used to refer to their own members as Tea Baggers? :)

And, in a culture without tea bags, does that not make anyone smirk?
Top
Post Reply

Return to “General Chat”