Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
Seriously - I'd love to be able to go to a gig and actually have a few nice beers to choose from instead of the usual pissy rubbish. It can't be hugely difficult.
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
Administration fees really p*ss me off. Even when you go and pick up the ticket. What the f**k have they done to charge you "administration" - they have just f**king stood there and wound me up by explaining why they have to charge me administration fees.
Another thing is that no matter where I stand there always manages to be someone taller in front of me. I am not a short chap but this makes no difference. The largest people in the crowd always gravitate to just in front of me.
This one is more difficult to explain and doesn't bother me as much now that I am older. But the front near the stage (the moshpit) is reserved for those folk that like to celebrate the music by wild dancing - if it is that kind of band. It annoys me when you get folk that just stand there and get in the way.
Well you must know something
'Cos we're dying of admiration here
Mastering obscure alternatives
The worst thing to happen (mainly at festivals) is when people come during breaks with full (stinking) meals including sauces of all sorts to the front rows ... ...
and dispose of the remains of their meals to the floor ... ...
Seriously - I'd love to be able to go to a gig and actually have a few nice beers to choose from instead of the usual pissy rubbish. It can't be hugely difficult.
Really? Things in the US seem to have vastly improved on that front over the last 10-15 years.
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The most successful tyranny is not the one that uses force to assure uniformity but the one that removes the awareness of other possibilities, that makes it seem inconceivable that other ways are viable, that removes the sense that there is an outside.
All the small people stood at the back moaning that they can't see the stage for us taller people that are stood at the Front...... because we arrived early as we wanted to see the support band(s) instead of hanging around the bar or the merch table before the main act were due to start
Gah. I NEVER moan about not being able to see. It's a given. What I do moan about is taller people standing right in front of me, practically on my toes, because they haven't even noticed that I'm there. They don't do it to Mr S. Last week at the Sissies about 4 people did this to me and I could have inhaled their leather jackets. Had to push two of them away so I could breathe - it wasn't crowded where we stood. I also mind the people who push others out of the way to get forward. I've been sent flying by these people.
Talkers. If you want to talk about crap, don't come to the gig. You're not watching and I can't hear the band over you.
'Moshers' aka complete wankers who really don't care about anyone around them. Like the fuckwit who sent me flying at the Smurphs gig because it's oh so cool and grown up and fun to play 'shoving your mate about when we've had a few' in a crowd of dancers where there wasn't even a mosh pit. That hurt, and my head missed the edge of the stage by inches. (I'm cross about this, can you tell?) If that was a one off, I'd not be so cross!
Oh, and people who are in the front two rows and don't move a muscle, cheer, sing along or even smile for the entire gig. What's the point of that?
The kind of twit who, after you've stood down the front throughout the support act, thinks it's ok to shove past you once the main act comes on.
Similarly, drunk women of an age when they really ought to know better, who spend the gig desperately trying to catch the singer's attention.
I'm not saying men never do this, but so far I've never encountered any...
I always end up next to a tone deaf wannabe lead singer, who belts out the lyrics (mostly correctly) to every track at top volume, drowning out the artiste you've spent a fortune and waited months to see. This is particularly a problem with artistes who mumble over an already low sound setting Even worse, unlike many of the hazards detailed above (sweaty topless man, the giant etc) there is no indication until the first song begins that this issue will arise, so at busier gigs it can be hard to escape.
Nikolas Vitus Lagartija wrote:I always end up next to a tone deaf wannabe lead singer, who belts out the lyrics (mostly correctly) to every track at top volume, drowning out the artiste you've spent a fortune and waited months to see. This is particularly a problem with artistes who mumble over an already low sound setting Even worse, unlike many of the hazards detailed above (sweaty topless man, the giant etc) there is no indication until the first song begins that this issue will arise, so at busier gigs it can be hard to escape.
I swear sweaty topless man appears out of nowhere. You can be in the same place all show & suddenly he materialises out of thin air.
Nikolas Vitus Lagartija wrote:I always end up next to a tone deaf wannabe lead singer, who belts out the lyrics (mostly correctly) to every track at top volume, drowning out the artiste you've spent a fortune and waited months to see. This is particularly a problem with artistes who mumble over an already low sound setting Even worse, unlike many of the hazards detailed above (sweaty topless man, the giant etc) there is no indication until the first song begins that this issue will arise, so at busier gigs it can be hard to escape.
No-one sings flatter than the european contingent of the Sisters' travelling choir
markfiend wrote:Trying to see the band through a sea of camera-phones and people talking are probably the worst from the list on the article.
THIS. At about time some band come up with the idead of painballin' those assholes' phones. The KLF, are you reading this? Mind, I take one or two pictures myself when I really like a band on stage, but I'm not filming the whole f**king show front row!
markfiend also wrote:My other pet peeve is when you've been standing near the front for ages and some beefy bastard barges in front of you and starts pogoing on your feet.
That's easily remedied for I wear Harleys and I can do a mean pogo-on-foot myself. I even specialised in finding their pinky toe and go flamenco all over that lil' bastard.
You wanna be front row, come and stand with the lot of us half an hour before the soundcheck starts.