A load of sh*t

[Mrs RicheyJames]

(Don't get too excited Quiffy)



Aw Sh*t...



Ghost Sh*t
That's the kind where you feel the sh*t come out, have sh*t on the toilet paper, but there is no sh*t in the toilet.

Clean Sh*t
The kind where you sh*t it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Second Wave Sh*t
It happens when you're done sh*tting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realise that you have to sh*t some more.

Brain Hemorrage Sh*t
Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead " sh*t. the kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

Sweetcorn sh*t
Self Explanatory

Log sh*t
The kind of sh*t that is so huge that you're afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it into a few pieces with your toilet brush

Drinkers sh*t
That is the kind of sh*t that you have the morning after a long night of drinking - its most noticeable trait is the skid marks left on the bottom of the toilet .

"Gee I wish I could sh*t" sh*t
Its the kind of sh*t where you want to sh*t, but all you do is sit on the toilet with cramps and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Sh*t
That's the one where it hurts so much coming out that you swear it was leaving you sideways.

Wet Cheeks Sh*t Also known as "The Power dump"
That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

Liquid Sh*t
The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, spashes all over the inside of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

Mexican Food Sh*t
A class all its own

The Crowd Pleaser
This sh*t is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone.

Mood Enhancer
This sh*t occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, allowing you to be your old self again.

The Ritual
This sh*t occurs at the same time time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper

Guiness Book of Records Sh*t
A s**t so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations

The aftershock sh*t
This s**t has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is effected.

The Honeymoons over sh*t
This is any sh*t created in the presence of another person.

Groaner
A sh*t so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance

Floater
Characterized by its floatability, this sh*t has been known to resurface after many flushes

Ranger
A sh*t which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper

Phantom Sh*t
This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit putting it there

Peek-a-boo-sh*t
Now you see it, now you don't. this sh*t is playing games with you. Requires patience and muscle control

The bombshell
A sh*t that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to sh*t (i.e. during love making or a root canal) or you are nowhere near sh*tting facilities.

Snake Charmer
A long skinny sh*t which has managed to coil into a frightening position - usually harmless Olympic Sh*t This sh*t occurs exactly one hour prior to the start of any competitive event in which you are entered and bears a close resemblance to the Drinkers sh*t.



Just realised..........Isn't sh*t a funny word?????? LOL

[Quiff Boy]

(Don't get too excited Quiffy)

har de har. everyone's a f*ckin' comedian.

just some are funnier than others.

[Mrs RicheyJames]

ohhhhhhhhhhh you bitch!!

[Planet Dave]

Best term for such 'matter' has to be 'Meatloaf's Daughter'. I'm sure you can work it out (or not - arf).