The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
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Charlie
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Well this is bonkers! Chocolate always goes on top!

This is nearly as bad as putting milk in before the tea :eek:
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million voices
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I thought the chocolate was on the top - that is totally logical Captain

But I also put my milk in before my tea - that is also logical

With coffee the milk goes in after

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markfiend
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No, I mean, you obviously hold the biscuit with the chocolate on top!

But that is upside-down.
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Swinnow
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Agree totally with million voices, well said sir / madam.
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EvilBastard
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1. The chocolate goes on the top. It is a topping. Otherwise it would be called a "chocolate bottoming", and I don't think we want any of that sort of talk in here, thank you very much.

2. Chocolate-smeared digital extremities may be avoided by holding the biscuit by the edge. Honestly, people, I really didn't think you needed to have this spelled out for you.

3. Milk goes in before the tea if you are using a teapot, otherwise it goes in afterwards. Anyone who pours the milk in before removing the tea-bag will be taken outside and left there and forced to eat Pink Wafers.
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Charlie
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EvilBastard wrote:1. The chocolate goes on the top. It is a topping. Otherwise it would be called a "chocolate bottoming", and I don't think we want any of that sort of talk in here, thank you very much.

2. Chocolate-smeared digital extremities may be avoided by holding the biscuit by the edge. Honestly, people, I really didn't think you needed to have this spelled out for you.

3. Milk goes in before the tea if you are using a teapot, otherwise it goes in afterwards. Anyone who pours the milk in before removing the tea-bag will be taken outside and left there and forced to eat Pink Wafers.
Agreed :notworthy:
Just the mere thought of an exposed tea-bag coming into direct contact with milk has brought me out in a cold sweat :eek:
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Swinnow
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Yorkshire tea bags too 😊
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EvilBastard
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Swinnow wrote:Yorkshire tea bags too 😊
Indeed. But Yorkshire teabags are so rock that if they caught you putting the milk in before taking them out they would smack the milk so hard that it would curdle.
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million voices
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Regarding the orientation of the choccie biccie

One wants to inscribe "f**k YOU" and somebody for some reason has eaten all the pink wafers.
Which way up would you have the choccie biccies facing to make your statement?
The answer is obvious.

I also do not like pink wafers they do take up space that could be used far much more productively in a selection box
The name is also off-putting. "The Pink Wafers" sounds reminiscent of sixties psychedelic rock. Which I am not adverse to but not with my cup of tea.
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EvilBastard
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million voices wrote:Regarding the orientation of the choccie biccie

One wants to inscribe "f**k YOU" and somebody for some reason has eaten all the pink wafers.
Which way up would you have the choccie biccies facing to make your statement?
The answer is obvious.
In theory it's obvious, but you might lay out the chocolate biscuits choccie-side-down and then use a single biccie choccie-side-up to make the "o" in "you".
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Microcosmia
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I love this thread


(but do we need an emoticon for "munch"?) :lol:
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EvilBastard
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Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
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Pista
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
Tea in a....*gulp* BAG? :?
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Pista wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
Tea in a....*gulp* BAG? :?
I'm American, we're a uncouth lot.
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Swinnow
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Ahh, from the banana republic lol.

"Get your tanks off my lawn"

Mind you, rather an American than a brexiteer 😉
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Swinnow wrote:Ahh, from the banana republic lol.

"Get your tanks off my lawn"

Mind you, rather an American than a brexiteer 😉
Oooh can we send you the fascist tangerine (and will you keep him)?
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emilystrange
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NO, and NO.
:D
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Swinnow
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And thrice No
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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How about if i sweeten the deal and throw in a few states?
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
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emilystrange
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nope!
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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and some really great chocolate chip biscuits?
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
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Alex66
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EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:and some really great chocolate chip biscuits?
Tell us more about these chocolate chip biscuits?
If you want to get rid of a few states why not force one of them to go it alone, then chuck the orange one there as El Presidente and we can send that c... Fararge as he seems to like him.
Nope don't want him.
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EmmaPeelWannaBe
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Alex66 wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:and some really great chocolate chip biscuits?
Tell us more about these chocolate chip biscuits?
If you want to get rid of a few states why not force one of them to go it alone, then chuck the orange one there as El Presidente and we can send that c... Fararge as he seems to like him.
Nope don't want him.

ok I'll include pie. all of our strategic pie reserves.
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Chaotican
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Pista wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:
EvilBastard wrote:Not strictly biscuit-related, but it's about time that this issue was addressed by robust legislation.
as well as the previously mentioned miscreants who add milk when the tea bag remains.
Tea in a....*gulp* BAG? :?
(Glad this thread is still thriving...)

Remember when the American Tea Party used to refer to their own members as Tea Baggers? :)

And, in a culture without tea bags, does that not make anyone smirk?
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