Heartland

Dan wrote:So my advice is go round to her house and throw away all her (insert list of bands who make depressing sounding music)* records and get her to listen to something a bit happier.

That's another Sisters collection coming up on ebay then.

ryan_w_0000 wrote:i think its some kind of revenge for johnny boy's avatarlessness

Nirvana Sydney 92. Or do I have to come over to Melbourne myself to collect. But then again, my stalker lives in Melbourne so maybe not. *Big shudder*

Depression is bad. If genuine, as SG said, there's a lot of qualified help out there. Friends shouldn't have to carry the burden. Recognising the symptoms and caring is all you can do. If, it's serious enough, leave it to the professionals.

Avatarlessness is a state of mind.

* walks away (geddit?) whistling " ..always look on the bright side of life ..."

My world (seriously) is falling around me. BUT, I'll survive. No Donna Summers comments please. Coz I'll survive.

Something always turns up. "Rodney ...this time next year we'll be millionaires!" Which for a Cancerian living in his shell is nice. Today ...I have mostly been positive.

RicheyJames wrote:

Collective noun for the event ?

an vogue of goths

a depression of goths surely?

I think he might be right...

Burn wrote:i can't get enough of Robert Smith and Ian Curtis when i'm feeling down

Pictures of You.

I'm with Burn on this one too.

Black Planet wrote:Pictures of You.

Yep

When you're down, listening to depressing music is part of the healing process, I find 'Losing Hold' by Argent helps.
I have never had the guts to listen to Closer by JD, that's just pushing a boat too far from shore.

snubnoseuk wrote:

Black Planet wrote:Pictures of You.

Yep

makes me cry everytime...and all I ever had was pictures.

Burn,....I need ..... I wanted to say Hug... I think today mon ami...I'd like a smile.

Love sweet...

v

@ snubs..


Robert Smilth....he's a genuis. at capturing emotion in song. Pics of you has special meanning to me. As do so many others. Wonderful wonderful music.

I can't look at the pictures.

Still I keep them.

Red Sunsets wrote:I can't look at the pictures.

Still I keep them.

me too sweet. even the mails.... 4 inch folder of them.....

Red Sunsets wrote:I have never had the guts to listen to Closer by JD

thats a fair comment Blast...understandable...

but i find a great deal of hope and strength listening to Closer...followed by Faith and Pornography...

maybe i'm just a little too hardcore depressive!!

Seems like you allready have alot of help. But if you need more I have also been there. It was pretty bad and know all about the isolation. They tried giving me drugs, but personally I did not really feel it helped- but my mom said my eyes had that glow again. I dont know.

I cant think of a good advice right now, but dont try to push her too hard. Take it slow and then try harder eventually. Keep her company and try taking her out.

Music is alot of help if she has an interest in music to the point that it would help. Even sad music. I find that happy music does not really help that much though.

Dont give up on her. They did that with me sort of. That does not help, other then that you are left alone to be able to go further down and being left alone. That might be what she wants and try to do. When you are that down you wanna be left alone.

Pm me any time if you want, my door is open.

Lynchfanatic
Well said.

I am trying to dl some of the songs being mentioned here, but it takes ages. Songs that make me cry, every single time is. Amongst others Lightning crashes by Live. (personal) And Questions in a world of blue by Julee Cruise.

Lynchfanatic wrote:I am trying to dl some of the songs being mentioned here, but it takes ages. Songs that make me cry, every single time is. Amongst others Lightning crashes by Live. (personal) And Questions in a world of blue by Julee Cruise.

i hope that you don't find too many songs to make you cry...

and it was lovely talking to you...

Thanks to all who have replied so far. You've all been of great help to me, and therefore hopefully my friend.

snubnoseuk wrote:Thanks to all who have replied so far. You've all been of great help to me, and therefore hopefully my friend.

No probs. I have enjoyed this topic...if for no other reason that I have to remind myself...LOL even now...Yep I still get that ....I want to be alone feeling. I know it's the Wrong thing to do...but still I do go there sometimes.

But...I want to say Thank YOU to the ppl I pm with at this very site.......for keeping me Here. And not bunking off to be alone. It means a lot to me.

BP

Oh and good luck with your friend, and Do Not leave her Alone.

Red Sunsets wrote: I have never had the guts to listen to Closer by JD, that's just pushing a boat too far from shore.

That's one dangerous album to listen at, especially '24 Hours' imho ...

I've been dealing with depression my whole life. I don't deal with stress in an ideal manner. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 18 (I'm 27 now) and I've taken antidepressants a few times. I stopped taking meds because I didn't want to become dependent on them.

If there's someone your friend can talk to, that would be a big help. She, unlike me, shouldn't have to bottle things up if she doesn't have to.

I've been there too-I was a real mess at the times...
If you want, you can pm me, every time. I'm here.
Take care.

Fortunately I've never had personal experience of depression - I don't have that kind of personality as far as I can work out, so while I might sulk for a bit I'm never in serious danger of going any further.

But I've had some mixed experiences of trying to help other people through their problems. Ironically the most successful of these regained her old self-belief and confidence back to the point where she moved to the other end of the country and decided she didn't need me any more, which was a bit strange. The least successful, you don't want to know.

I guess the key I found was just to be available, to listen and to encourage. It wasn't always easy - as I mentioned this isn't something I have much personal experience of and there were times when I just felt like giving someone a good shake and telling them to stop being so bloody silly. It's a frustrating experience and while you're trying to help your friend it might be worth ensuring there's someone around who can be a pressure valve for you as well. That's probably going to save both of you a load of grief in the end. I can sympathise with anyone who feels they'd rather not get involved - this isn't a quick fix situation and I can't really promise you'll get a lot from it yourself, but hopefully your friend is important enough for that not to be an issue.

The only other thing I would say is that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. That's where I went wrong in the past, and for a few years it was hell. It can still give me an uncomfortable night even now, because ultimately I still don't understand exactly what was going on and that scares the hell out of me (I'm a huge control freak - even more so now).

This is the sort of thing that can really scupper professional help. Sometimes it's harder to accept "outside" involvement, and no matter how good and how dedicated the medical support is, it won't do much good for an unresponsive patient.

From what I gather you are trying to do the right thing here, so good luck. Trust your instincts - you know this person, we don't, and neither does a doctor.

All the best.

@andymackem
You speak the truth.

This topic is really too serious. If I knew what to do when it begins again...
Yes, I remember too well all this springs with Joy Division and cold metal.
I've said too much.
Good night!

i find closer a cheerful album

Snubnoseuk,
does she like the Sisters? has she heard about them?

Or, alternatively, what about giving her a kitten?
And yes, I've been there too. In fact it's a permanent state. There's not much help possible, but kittens are good, they definitely do smother some of it.

_emma_ wrote:Snubnoseuk,
does she like the Sisters? has she heard about them?

Or, alternatively, what about giving her a kitten?
And yes, I've been there too. In fact it's a permanent state. There's not much help possible, but kittens are good, they definitely do smother some of it.

That is a good idea. I know my cat has certanly helped me through certain moments. So if she likes cats and can have them, give her one