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Posted: 04 May 2004, 20:57
by Lynchfanatic
I had a friend who was so down she decided to take her own life. She called me and told me she had taken alot of pills. Luckely I got to call her boyfriend at the moment so he got to get home in time. I saw her at the hospital, that was one of the hardest moments in my life. But now she is married and has 2 kids, and doing great as far as I know. Sadly she has moved very far away, but I still have some contact with her. So she is kinda proof that things can and will turn around.
Right after this she was very mad at me for stopping her. And did not relly trust me any more I think. She made me promise I would not call any one. But I stuck around no matter. And now she is greatful, and I got kinda like a hero to her family
Posted: 04 May 2004, 21:12
by christophe
Lynchfanatic wrote:I had a friend who was so down she decided to take her own life. She called me and told me she had taken alot of pills. Luckely I got to call her boyfriend at the moment so he got to get home in time. I saw her at the hospital, that was one of the hardest moments in my life. But now she is married and has 2 kids, and doing great as far as I know. Sadly she has moved very far away, but I still have some contact with her. So she is kinda proof that things can and will turn around.
Right after this she was very mad at me for stopping her. And did not relly trust me any more I think. She made me promise I would not call any one. But I stuck around no matter. And now she is greatful, and I got kinda like a hero to her family
wow, .....
if only everyone would have a angel like You.
I think a lot of the people who take there own life do it as a cry for help.
I have a lot of respect for those who do, they do it for a reason. even if it looks to You its a stupid reason. You don't simply decide to do it.
Posted: 04 May 2004, 23:06
by Almiche V
_emma_ wrote:Snubnoseuk,
does she like the Sisters? has she heard about them?
Or, alternatively, what about giving her a kitten?
And yes, I've been there too. In fact it's a permanent state. There's not much help possible, but kittens are good, they definitely do smother some of it.
Funnily enough I've just spent the evening with her and she said she'd love to go to a concert with me. So I said next The Sisters tour, we'll go!
She likes Susanne, and she agrees that the lyrics for This Corrosion are prose. I'm sure I can convert her.
She has two cats already, but it's a good idea. Unfortunately I've come out without my wallet.............
Posted: 04 May 2004, 23:40
by Black Planet
christophe wrote: think a lot of the people who take there own life do it as a cry for help.
I have a lot of respect for those who do, they do it for a reason. even if it looks to You its a stupid reason. You don't simply decide to do it.
It's not that easy and its not that complicated. And it's NOT to be respected.
It just happens out of an emotional reaction. And it's not a rational decision, like today I am going to wear blue, or today I am going to mow the lawn. Nobody wakes up and says today I'm going to commit suicide.
There is no respect for that decision. It hurts everyone around you. EVERYONE.
That is why it's so important that ppl in that state are NOT left alone. It's important that someone comes round to say hello, to keep them in the real world and not the lonely place they are dwelling.
I've already said too much, and I am not commenting further, except to say,
Suicide is not an option. Even if you think it is....think again. IT's not. IT's inflicting the same pain you are feeling on your friends and family.
Posted: 04 May 2004, 23:43
by Black Planet
And don't even bother asking HOW I know all that. It's none of your damn business....you just know one thing.
I am 100 percent correct.
Posted: 05 May 2004, 00:07
by Quiff Boy
"It's not that easy and its not that complicated. And it's NOT to be respected. "
agreed.
call me harsh but i've never met anyone who attempted suicide and actually meant to do it.
i've known a hell of a lot of people that have suffered from depression in all its forms, and i've been
very close to a number of people with this illness, and i really believe that you can boil it down to 3 types: temporal, chemical and behavioural.
temporal - so you've suffered a loss and don't know how to come to terms with it. you feel deeply unhappy. it's not surprising and its very sad. if you have support and good people around you, in time you will come to terms with it and "get over it" (which i know is a hideous cliched saying... sorry).
chemical: you have a chemical imbalance in your brain and it doesnt produce enough whatsisface (i'll remember the name of the chemical when i'm sober) thus you cant help but feel "down". again its very sad because you genuinely dont know know how to stop feeling so utterly rubbish.
i think this is what the majority of people seem to have, and to a certain extent it can be combatted with the correct drugs.
the third type is behavioural. and i have A LOT OF experience of this. it starts of as one if the other two types but ends up as this. they realise somewhere in their subconscious that they can get what they want (love, attention, whatever) by pretending to feel this way. sometimes they even believe it themselves.
hmm, do i sound bitter? f**k yes. i was ripped apart by someone with behavioural depression and they took me for a long, long ride and bled me dry emotionally. never again.
sorry, i suppose i shoudl sleep now. doesn't do to post while drunk - the truth comes out
Posted: 05 May 2004, 00:34
by Black Planet
@ QB,
very nicely said.
Need a hug? BP ..hugs QB...
It's a hard thing to deal with. If you have it...hard. If your familyand friends looking on...hard. If you actually have someone attemp suicide...you are living...in pain. on both sides.
Until recently I've been pretty happy, successful, all of it. I never thought depression would ever happen to me again.
I dont' go into all that here, I have another place I go to, where well, it's like Cheers, everybody knows your name, and they know, and are very supportive of me. And QB...thank you. You know why, and maybe now you have a bit more insight. As to Why I freak out on you...
Sorry, really I am.
But the reality is this happens.
And all too easily, it's made into a taboo. something not to be discussed, when in reality depression, is all around us, and is a very very common and not so unnormal part of all our lives.
It's good to discuss it in an open and mature manner. Been a good thread..l
Posted: 05 May 2004, 00:49
by Almiche V
@BP I'm glad you appreciate this thread.
If it's helped others as well, then so much the better.
Posted: 05 May 2004, 03:10
by Lynchfanatic
I must say I also really appreciate this thread. I have gotten to share and air out alot of things, both here and in pm.
Allthough the pm's do tend to get a little long.
Posted: 05 May 2004, 08:49
by Quiff Boy
@ bp: thanks. woke up this morning wondering if i'd been a little harsh and had upset anyone.
phew!
Posted: 05 May 2004, 09:12
by Mrs RicheyJames
Don't worry about it mate. It happens to us all!!
Posted: 05 May 2004, 09:16
by Quiff Boy
i didn’t want anyone to think i was having a go at them, or discrediting what they have said or what they are going through, but as BP says its something that is all too often a taboo and i happen to think it really needs saying.
Posted: 05 May 2004, 11:11
by Ed Rhombus
Cup of tea?
Posted: 05 May 2004, 12:26
by _emma_
Black Planet wrote:
It just happens out of an emotional reaction. And it's not a rational decision, like today I am going to wear blue, or today I am going to mow the lawn. Nobody wakes up and says today I'm going to commit suicide.
Believe me, it is a rational decision sometimes. Some people do wake up and just say, after thinking about it for months or years, okay then, today's the day. When it is just a sudden emotional reaction, everything can be turned back. Such outbursts only happen at the begining of the trip when it's still possible to go back, but some people go further and further, and when they're gone they're gone for good.
Nice thread indeed.
As for your friend Snubnoseuk, I think a Sisters gig would definitely do her good. God, I myself need it so badly! If only there were some new dates announced!
Posted: 05 May 2004, 12:37
by andymackem
Black Planet wrote:
There is no respect for that decision. It hurts everyone around you. EVERYONE.
That is why it's so important that ppl in that state are NOT left alone. It's important that someone comes round to say hello, to keep them in the real world and not the lonely place they are dwelling.
I've already said too much, and I am not commenting further, except to say,
Suicide is not an option. Even if you think it is....think again. IT's not. IT's inflicting the same pain you are feeling on your friends and family.
That's a bit harsh, no? Ultimately you can only take responsibility for your own actions, not the impact they have on those around you.
And who the hell are we to say how someone else is feeling. FFS, if you are feeling bad enough to even think about killing yourself it's fair to suggest you are feeling pretty unbelievably awful about just about everything.
I agree entirely that we shouldn't abandon people if they are in trouble, but to argue that suicide is not an answer because of the problems for those it leaves behind doesn't add up. I'd suggest that a potential suicide has more pressing personal concerns than that.
In the end, it is their life, not ours. However much that hurts us.
Posted: 05 May 2004, 16:53
by christophe
I’m sorry if I have offended someone with my last post.
The biggest mistake I made there was the fact I didn’t include it wasn’t intended for all cases. And theirs the big problem, not one person is the same as another. You simply can’t compare two individuals.
I’m certain no one really wants to commit suicide, but to some it becomes a option.
I won’t go into the reasons to do it, there are no reasons to do something like that even the persons around here who ever have felt this way will agree.
It is true it affects your surroundings, if you really hurt them by committing suicide you probably didn’t had a good reason to do it. (Again this is only for some amount of the people who do it)
But when I say you should have respect I mean you should respect the reason why he has don it.
I have a lot more to say but I won’t get into it now. If someone has something to say they should and pleas prove me wrong it could help a lot of people.
Posted: 05 May 2004, 16:58
by ryan
suicides just too 'rock and roll'
never should be done, then again. it is, isnt it?
Posted: 05 May 2004, 17:40
by Almiche V
_emma_ wrote:As for your friend Snubnoseuk, I think a Sisters gig would definitely do her good. God, I myself need it so badly! If only there were some new dates announced!
It's what we all need isn't it? Dry ice, AE muttering around the stage, loud music, and people trying to talk over it.
Posted: 05 May 2004, 18:52
by _emma_
snubnoseuk wrote:It's what we all need isn't it? Dry ice, AE muttering around the stage, loud music, and people trying to talk over it.
yes. In fact my life's been one endless depression interrupted only by those short beautiful moments.
I'd skip the people talking though.
Posted: 06 May 2004, 14:56
by Black Dahlia
Snub - Im sorry if Im a little late getting to this thread. I have had "it" for 15 years now and numerous treatments, I also self injure (please dont judge me Heartlanders, it took a lot to tell you that). If she would like to talk to me she is more than welcome.
BD
Posted: 06 May 2004, 14:59
by Thrash Harry
Is there a well-balanced woman on this forum? There go your dating agency plans QB.
Posted: 06 May 2004, 15:03
by Black Dahlia
Thrash Harry wrote:Is there a well-balanced woman on this forum? There go your dating agency plans QB.
Thrash - without wishing to sound rude, firstly - what are you doing on this thread? and secondly, go f**k yourself.
Yours,
BD
Posted: 06 May 2004, 15:06
by ryan
Depression is one thing, self injury is another thing altogether
its good of you to say that BD
Posted: 06 May 2004, 15:11
by Thrash Harry
Black Dahlia wrote:what are you doing on this thread?
You know how they rarely stay on topic. Thought it might have lightened up a bit by now.
Black Dahlia wrote:and secondly, go **** yourself
As expected.
Posted: 06 May 2004, 15:11
by Black Dahlia
Thanks Ryan , Im not "bigging myself up" at all - just trying to say that if anyone would like a sympathetic ear for anything , Im here. That's all.