Heartland

A Guide to Women’s English:-

No = Yes
Yes = No
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
I want new curtains = and carpeting and furniture and wallpaper
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes & find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate

Hopefully this outrageous piece of plagiarism hasn't been posted before?
(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)

As if I needed to add:- Your Thoughts/Comments please?
- Don't worry, a male version to follow shortly

reactiv8 wrote:(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)

Might be better suited to 'Joke of the Day' than 'General Chat'.

You met a lot of "wrong" girls in your life...

Must try harder,

It was Blast, too. He will stab you.

..and learn thoroughly!
You wouldn't want to make any mistakes if you met a woman like her!
(That was the first video Youtube offered after the Ahrayéph one. In a way it's lucky the video wasn't a recording of "Seele".. )

smiscandlon wrote:

reactiv8 wrote:(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)

Might be better suited to 'Joke of the Day' than 'General Chat'.

Aye. And it's not even funny!

reactiv8 wrote:We need to talk = I need to complain

But OMG, it's funny because it's true!

smiscandlon wrote:

reactiv8 wrote:We need to talk = I need to complain

But OMG, it's funny because it's true!

Aye - see post above!

my thoughts exactly

James Blast wrote:my thoughts exactly

'Hook, Line & Sinker', eh Sir James?

I knew I was an alien - this thread proves it. Phew!

@ me!

smiscandlon wrote:

reactiv8 wrote:We need to talk = I need to complain

But OMG, it's funny because it's true!

No it's not. It should read:

We need to talk = you need to listen!

Eh, just bin it. It does not even have the date on the subject line.

Ozpat wrote:You met a lot of "wrong" girls in your life...

There's no such thing as a girl who's wrong - the fault is with the inability of the man observing her to understand that she's right.

reactiv8 wrote:A Guide to Women’s English:-

No = Yes
Yes = No
Maybe = No
We need = I want
I’m sorry = You’ll be sorry
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive
I want new curtains = and carpeting and furniture and wallpaper
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes & find a good game on TV
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re going to hate

Hopefully this outrageous piece of plagiarism hasn't been posted before?
(I'm sure I'll be swiftly informed & chastised if necessary)

As if I needed to add:- Your Thoughts/Comments please?
- Don't worry, a male version to follow shortly

where did you meet my wife?

Petseri wrote:Eh, just bin it. It does not even have the date on the subject line.

Hardcore!

What utter nonsense.

Hey look! Mr. Happy's here