Heartland

This made me happy because it was f**king hilarious.

I caught the bus into Leeds last night. (I was off out for a couple of jars, and didn't want to drink and drive.) On the bus I bumped into the world's biggest bullsh!t artist. I guess he was mid 40's, collar-length hair, vaguely looked like an ageing hippy.

Anyway, he spotted my Sisters T-shirt and started regaling me with tales of how he was a "face" on the Leeds scene back in the early 80s. So far so predictable. "Oh yeah, I used to have long dreads and wear a top hat" blah blah blah.

Then he claimed that Ben asked him to join his band as the singer (and yes, he meant Ben Matthews/Gunn, and by "Ben's band" he meant The Sisters) "but the guy they got, Andrew, he really copied my style." Ohhhh kaaaaay.

Then apparently the reason that "is so f*cked up and difficult to work with" is that he got too far into the Golden Dawn and "you know, that kind of darkness really gets inside a person."

This guy also claimed to have introduced Mick Brown to Wayne when they were setting up t'Mish. He said he had written some lyrics for Loop "about a really intense love affair I had with (someone famous)'s sister" (bloody hell I can't remember who he said now) "that ended with her 60-year-old father chasing me naked around their house trying to shag me."

There was some more stuff, about South African mercenaries, I can't remember what else.

The best bit: when this guy got off the bus there was another guy (an older punk kind of looking guy) who had got on at the same time as me, who had obviously been listening in (I could see him over Mr Bullsh!t's shoulder, he was trying not to laugh and I was trying not to make eye contact in case he set me off) just burst out laughing.

I love a good bullsh!t merchant.

The man deserves his own thread

OK

markfiend wrote:"but the guy they got, Andrew, he really copied my style."

Eldritch - the Ragga Dub phase.

outrageous,did he mentioned something about Dr. Avalanche stealing that snare sounds from him?

Good one, Meerkat

Nice story!

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Why hasn't anyone bumped into this legend before now?

He looked a bit like Chris Cowey of TOTP.

What a load of crap, but a very nice story, Mark!

I used to know a guy who claimed that the Sisters only used a drum computer in the studio. Live, they used a real drummer, and--even better!--he had played drums on a project with Von.

He was an idiot. He also played drums for a tenth-rate goth band that was fronted by a cross-dressing gothabilly neo-nazi and said goth-nazi's 400 pound girlfriend. They were just as good as you'd expect a band like that to be.

sultan2075 wrote:...a cross-dressing gothabilly neo-nazi and said goth-nazi's 400 pound girlfriend...

Wow. My mind's eye now needs bleaching.

it's not really possible to shut your mind's eye, is it?

markfiend wrote:

sultan2075 wrote:...a cross-dressing gothabilly neo-nazi and said goth-nazi's 400 pound girlfriend...

Wow. My mind's eye now needs bleaching.

Bleach any other eye and its 999 time

My BullSh*t Merchant would be a friend who lived down the street from me..........

He worked for a motorbike garage.

Every day he'd have a new story for us,
"Oh, just got back from Birmingham, had to go there to collect a Yamaha RD 500. I was doing over a ton on the motorway all the way back........"

Every day it was a different bike & different story but it was always bull dust.
We just used to laugh it all off.
He only had a provisional licence

What makes him such a good story teller was that it was always consistant, if he told me it first & then told someone else an hour later it was more or less the same.

He did tell us that he was going to be racing for his workplace on a 500 when they got it sorted out...................That never happened of course.

sultan2075 wrote:I used to know a guy who claimed that the Sisters only used a drum computer in the studio. Live, they used a real drummer, and--even better!--he had played drums on a project with Von.

He was an idiot. He also played drums for a tenth-rate goth band that was fronted by a cross-dressing gothabilly neo-nazi and said goth-nazi's 400 pound girlfriend. They were just as good as you'd expect a band like that to be.

I've also met a guy who claimed to be the live drummer - when I said I'd seen the sisters live and seen Doctor and nurse through the smoke he replied ' they keep a machine on stage to keep up the pretence I'm off stage ' From our differing locations I take it it was a different deluded fool

There was a chap in my local pub who claimed his dad was a jumbo jet pilot, on one flight the plane lost all cabin pressure which made his dads eyes pop out their sockets! He still landed the plane and was given an award by the queen.

DOZMEISTER wrote:There was a chap in my local pub who claimed his dad was a jumbo jet pilot, on one flight the plane lost all cabin pressure which made his dads eyes pop out their sockets! He still landed the plane and was given an award by the queen.

"did it myself, thirty years man and boy, hardest game in the book"

allright.....

DOZMEISTER wrote:There was a chap in my local pub who claimed his dad was a jumbo jet pilot, on one flight the plane lost all cabin pressure which made his dads eyes pop out their sockets! He still landed the plane and was given an award by the queen.

that is brilliant.

Also I have remembered, the famous guy whose sister he shagged was Andy McCluskey from OMD... allegedly!

And it's amazing the number of live drummers The Sisters have had

Brilliant story.

markfiend wrote:Then apparently the reason that "is so f*cked up and difficult to work with" is that he got too far into the Golden Dawn...

There was some more stuff, about South African mercenaries, I can't remember what else.

Eldritch X? Could be an OTO signature.

South African mercs? Sounds a little too far south doesn't it?

Your most horrific imaginative scenarios do not live up to the reality of that pair.

On the broad subject of the thread, I've never quite understood why people lie like that. "Oh yeah, I played drums for TSOM. Yep. Me. Shot a lot pool with Von in Thailand as well. Uh-huh. Me."

What makes a person say such things?