Heartland

Anybody on here know him personally or related to him ? If so what is he like in real life ?

I am Andrew Eldritch,and so is my wife.

He seemed nice and normal when I met him

A nice kind of bastard

Andrew Eldritch is actually several people. After the success of "manufactured" bands like Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Warner Brothers' marketing department decided to create the persona of Andrew Eldritch, back him with some of the more talented musicians from their stable, call them the Sisters of Mercy, and build the myth around him.

The myth was far more successful than they had imagined - The Sisters went viral inside 14 months, and "fans" (opinion formers) like Quiffboy were recruited to push the band into record stores and clubs.

Warner Bros has a group of short people with different haircuts and a wide variety of eyewear to play the role of Eldritch, and it's unlikely that you've ever seen the same person on stage twice.

The conspiracy goes far deeper than you'd think - none of the bands that "signed" to Merciful Release ever existed, the sponsorship of St Pauli FC was a marketing wheeze, and FatPat was the slightly chubby daughter of the head of East West Records who couldn't find a boyfriend. In return for boinking her for a while the then-incarnation of Eldritch was given 2 weeks holiday in Jordan, after which WB took his holiday videos and projected them on the greenscreen to make the video for Dominion. The woman who appears in the video is one Blodwyn Evans, of 14, Sheepbotherer Terrace in Brecon - she was "discovered" after her book, "Backcombing for fun & profit" was profiled in Just 17 magazine. She had just the look that WB was looking for, so they filmed some footage and edited her in later. Blodwyn later disappeared in mysterious circumstances - "rumour" has it that she has in her possession a listenable copy of SSV, but given the lengths that WB has gone to to protect The Sisters conspiracy this should not be taken as fact.

I would reveal the identity of the person who is currently masquerading as Eldritch, but I've probably said too much already. I have to post here under a pseudonym to protect myself and my sources - Warner's ability to punish people who expose their secrets makes the Freemasons' look like a Sunday School picnic. I have only chosen to come clean now because I believe that you deserve to know the truth.

EvilBastard wrote:Andrew Eldritch is actually several people. After the success of "manufactured" bands like Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Warner Brothers' marketing department decided to create the persona of Andrew Eldritch, back him with some of the more talented musicians from their stable, call them the Sisters of Mercy, and build the myth around him.

The myth was far more successful than they had imagined - The Sisters went viral inside 14 months, and "fans" (opinion formers) like Quiffboy were recruited to push the band into record stores and clubs.

Warner Bros has a group of short people with different haircuts and a wide variety of eyewear to play the role of Eldritch, and it's unlikely that you've ever seen the same person on stage twice.

The conspiracy goes far deeper than you'd think - none of the bands that "signed" to Merciful Release ever existed, the sponsorship of St Pauli FC was a marketing wheeze, and FatPat was the slightly chubby daughter of the head of East West Records who couldn't find a boyfriend. In return for boinking her for a while the then-incarnation of Eldritch was given 2 weeks holiday in Jordan, after which WB took his holiday videos and projected them on the greenscreen to make the video for Dominion. The woman who appears in the video is one Blodwyn Evans, of 14, Sheepbotherer Terrace in Brecon - she was "discovered" after her book, "Backcombing for fun & profit" was profiled in Just 17 magazine. She had just the look that WB was looking for, so they filmed some footage and edited her in later. Blodwyn later disappeared in mysterious circumstances - "rumour" has it that she has in her possession a listenable copy of SSV, but given the lengths that WB has gone to to protect The Sisters conspiracy this should not be taken as fact.

I would reveal the identity of the person who is currently masquerading as Eldritch, but I've probably said too much already. I have to post here under a pseudonym to protect myself and my sources - Warner's ability to punish people who expose their secrets makes the Freemasons' look like a Sunday School picnic. I have only chosen to come clean now because I believe that you deserve to know the truth.

That ought to teach you not to ask questions around here. Welcome to the loony bin.

I have met him several times myself and I would say it depends on the day as to what he is like.

He has always been well spoken when he chooses to speak, and very witty.

I met him at the ASDA in Pudsey in 2001. He had a 4 pack of ASDA Smartprice toilet paper in his shopping basket (along with a bottle of Absolute vodka and a carton of Ocean Spray cranberry juice).
"Rock Star" my arse!
He uses the cheapest toilet paper like eveyone else!

Rise891 wrote:I have met him several times myself and I would say it depends on the day as to what he is like.

I rest my case - clearly you've met different people on each occassion.

EvilBastard wrote:Andrew Eldritch is actually several people. After the success of "manufactured" bands like Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Warner Brothers' marketing department decided to create the persona of Andrew Eldritch, back him with some of the more talented musicians from their stable, call them the Sisters of Mercy, and build the myth around him.

The myth was far more successful than they had imagined - The Sisters went viral inside 14 months, and "fans" (opinion formers) like Quiffboy were recruited to push the band into record stores and clubs.

Warner Bros has a group of short people with different haircuts and a wide variety of eyewear to play the role of Eldritch, and it's unlikely that you've ever seen the same person on stage twice.

The conspiracy goes far deeper than you'd think - none of the bands that "signed" to Merciful Release ever existed, the sponsorship of St Pauli FC was a marketing wheeze, and FatPat was the slightly chubby daughter of the head of East West Records who couldn't find a boyfriend. In return for boinking her for a while the then-incarnation of Eldritch was given 2 weeks holiday in Jordan, after which WB took his holiday videos and projected them on the greenscreen to make the video for Dominion. The woman who appears in the video is one Blodwyn Evans, of 14, Sheepbotherer Terrace in Brecon - she was "discovered" after her book, "Backcombing for fun & profit" was profiled in Just 17 magazine. She had just the look that WB was looking for, so they filmed some footage and edited her in later. Blodwyn later disappeared in mysterious circumstances - "rumour" has it that she has in her possession a listenable copy of SSV, but given the lengths that WB has gone to to protect The Sisters conspiracy this should not be taken as fact.

I would reveal the identity of the person who is currently masquerading as Eldritch, but I've probably said too much already. I have to post here under a pseudonym to protect myself and my sources - Warner's ability to punish people who expose their secrets makes the Freemasons' look like a Sunday School picnic. I have only chosen to come clean now because I believe that you deserve to know the truth.

zoiks! i've been rumbled

fullom wrote:Anybody on here know him personally or related to him ? If so what is he like in real life ?

welcome

as far as we know, no one on here is related to him, but several people on here have met him numerous times. some of them even consider him a friend.

as far as what he's like, i'd say he was like any other bloke that has spent the best part of his life in the music business, being hounded by geeky guys and insanely obsessive goth chicks

ie: nice enough on a good day, slightly grumpy on a bad day, and ever slightly paranoid the rest of the time.

ribbons69 wrote:I am Andrew Eldritch,and so is my wife.

I'm Eldritch!

weeeeeeeeeell......... you're bald enough, but you're at least 3ft too tall

Quiff Boy wrote:as far as we know, no one on here is related to him

i've just remembered,we did actually have the singer from devon-crusty-punks 'the bus station loonies' sign up for heartland once, a long time ago now. iirc, he claims to have dated eldritch's sister (?) in the very early 80s (before anyone really know who he was)

Quiff Boy wrote:hounded by geeky guys and insanely obsessive goth chicks

Before anyone asks, that's not me, I'm not goth and I don't hound.

EvilBastard wrote:Andrew Eldritch is actually several people. After the success of "manufactured" bands like Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Warner Brothers' marketing department decided to create the persona of Andrew Eldritch, back him with some of the more talented musicians from their stable, call them the Sisters of Mercy, and build the myth around him.

The myth was far more successful than they had imagined - The Sisters went viral inside 14 months, and "fans" (opinion formers) like Quiffboy were recruited to push the band into record stores and clubs.

Warner Bros has a group of short people with different haircuts and a wide variety of eyewear to play the role of Eldritch, and it's unlikely that you've ever seen the same person on stage twice.

The conspiracy goes far deeper than you'd think - none of the bands that "signed" to Merciful Release ever existed, the sponsorship of St Pauli FC was a marketing wheeze, and FatPat was the slightly chubby daughter of the head of East West Records who couldn't find a boyfriend. In return for boinking her for a while the then-incarnation of Eldritch was given 2 weeks holiday in Jordan, after which WB took his holiday videos and projected them on the greenscreen to make the video for Dominion. The woman who appears in the video is one Blodwyn Evans, of 14, Sheepbotherer Terrace in Brecon - she was "discovered" after her book, "Backcombing for fun & profit" was profiled in Just 17 magazine. She had just the look that WB was looking for, so they filmed some footage and edited her in later. Blodwyn later disappeared in mysterious circumstances - "rumour" has it that she has in her possession a listenable copy of SSV, but given the lengths that WB has gone to to protect The Sisters conspiracy this should not be taken as fact.

I would reveal the identity of the person who is currently masquerading as Eldritch, but I've probably said too much already. I have to post here under a pseudonym to protect myself and my sources - Warner's ability to punish people who expose their secrets makes the Freemasons' look like a Sunday School picnic. I have only chosen to come clean now because I believe that you deserve to know the truth.

_emma_ wrote:

Quiff Boy wrote:hounded by geeky guys and insanely obsessive goth chicks

Before anyone asks, that's not me, I'm not goth and I don't hound.

no, but i think we all know who it is

Oh and Dr Poo my dear - I'll see you in a few days and you'll see how wrong it is to laugh at the Rockstar.

Perfect read while drinking my coffee

Is it just me who feels a bit sorry for fullom now?

markfiend wrote:Is it just me who feels a bit sorry for fullom now?

Yes. Just you.

Quiff Boy wrote:weeeeeeeeeell......... you're bald enough, but you're at least 3ft too tall

damagedone wrote:Perfect read while drinking my coffee

absolutely. Good morning, Heartland ... ...

Hom_Corleone wrote:

markfiend wrote:Is it just me who feels a bit sorry for fullom now?

Yes. Just you.

OK

EvilBastard wrote:Andrew Eldritch is actually several people. After the success of "manufactured" bands like Sigue Sigue Sputnik, Warner Brothers' marketing department decided to create the persona of Andrew Eldritch, back him with some of the more talented musicians from their stable, call them the Sisters of Mercy, and build the myth around him.

The myth was far more successful than they had imagined - The Sisters went viral inside 14 months, and "fans" (opinion formers) like Quiffboy were recruited to push the band into record stores and clubs.

Warner Bros has a group of short people with different haircuts and a wide variety of eyewear to play the role of Eldritch, and it's unlikely that you've ever seen the same person on stage twice.

The conspiracy goes far deeper than you'd think - none of the bands that "signed" to Merciful Release ever existed, the sponsorship of St Pauli FC was a marketing wheeze, and FatPat was the slightly chubby daughter of the head of East West Records who couldn't find a boyfriend. In return for boinking her for a while the then-incarnation of Eldritch was given 2 weeks holiday in Jordan, after which WB took his holiday videos and projected them on the greenscreen to make the video for Dominion. The woman who appears in the video is one Blodwyn Evans, of 14, Sheepbotherer Terrace in Brecon - she was "discovered" after her book, "Backcombing for fun & profit" was profiled in Just 17 magazine. She had just the look that WB was looking for, so they filmed some footage and edited her in later. Blodwyn later disappeared in mysterious circumstances - "rumour" has it that she has in her possession a listenable copy of SSV, but given the lengths that WB has gone to to protect The Sisters conspiracy this should not be taken as fact.

I would reveal the identity of the person who is currently masquerading as Eldritch, but I've probably said too much already. I have to post here under a pseudonym to protect myself and my sources - Warner's ability to punish people who expose their secrets makes the Freemasons' look like a Sunday School picnic. I have only chosen to come clean now because I believe that you deserve to know the truth.

You killed me here!