For whom the Belle toll'd
Posted: 22 Jan 2004, 16:07
Dearly beloved,
We are gathered hyere today to celebrate the passing into the Kingdom of the Lord of our dearest friend, Clucking Belle on Thursday 22 January 2004. Belle lived a long and happy life, had many friends, all of them virtual and he would, with his characteristic snigger and a mop of his sweaty brow with a red spotted 'kerchief, have appreciated the delicious irony of the fact that his friends only came to him "in the flesh" at the very time he became permanently ethereal. Clucking enjoyed the company of old, young, ladies, boys. Ahem, I do apologise, Clucking enjoyed the company of ladyboys and spent many a happy holiday in the Far East with a fag in his mouth.
Finally, we turn for some solace to the the scriptures.
"Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry'"
and in a similar way, Belle loved to wave at the common folk from the balcony of his penthouse, dropping them the occasional whole cheese,
"'and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.' But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away;"
and, you know, the rumours of Belle trying on many occasions to have his father committed to a lunatic asylumn, in order that he might drive young women wild in his dad's austin allegro are rather unfounded.
And so, we commit Clucking to the family mausoleum here by the graveyard at Whitby bay, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Amen
We are gathered hyere today to celebrate the passing into the Kingdom of the Lord of our dearest friend, Clucking Belle on Thursday 22 January 2004. Belle lived a long and happy life, had many friends, all of them virtual and he would, with his characteristic snigger and a mop of his sweaty brow with a red spotted 'kerchief, have appreciated the delicious irony of the fact that his friends only came to him "in the flesh" at the very time he became permanently ethereal. Clucking enjoyed the company of old, young, ladies, boys. Ahem, I do apologise, Clucking enjoyed the company of ladyboys and spent many a happy holiday in the Far East with a fag in his mouth.
Finally, we turn for some solace to the the scriptures.
"Jesus said to them, 'I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry'"
and in a similar way, Belle loved to wave at the common folk from the balcony of his penthouse, dropping them the occasional whole cheese,
"'and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.' But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe. Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away;"
and, you know, the rumours of Belle trying on many occasions to have his father committed to a lunatic asylumn, in order that he might drive young women wild in his dad's austin allegro are rather unfounded.
And so, we commit Clucking to the family mausoleum here by the graveyard at Whitby bay, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
Amen
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