03/04/04 Prawn sandwich anyone?

[Thrash Harry]

The Official Man Utd Maths Workbook, which covers sums for practising
Key Stage Two maths for 7-11 year olds. This has been introduced as part
of the Government's maths campaign.

1. ACCELERATION. Roy is 78 yards away from the referee at Old Trafford
and Gary is 65 yards away. If Roy can run at 21 mph and Gary can run at 16
mph, who will be sticking their vein-bulging forehead into the hapless
whistler's face first, assuming Roy does not stop to stamp on an opponent
on his way.

2. TELLING THE TIME. If one minute of time is taken up in a game for
substitutions and one minute for injuries, how much injury time the
referee will add on if Man Utd are losing at home?

3. PROBABILITY (1). Ryan Giggs is a Welshman. Express, as a percentage,
the number of internationals he has missed on a Wednesday evening,
compared to the miraculous recoveries he made for the following Saturday.

4. SUBTRACTION (1). Manchester United are one of the giants of world
club football. How many more European Cup Finals have they appeared in
than Steaua Bucharest? (For one extra mark; How many more than Reims?)

5. SUBTRACTION (2). How many more times have Man Utd won the
European Cup than Nottingham Forest?

6. DISTANCE. You are the referee at Old Trafford. How near to a visiting
defender does a tumbling Ruud van Nistelrooy have to be to earn a
penalty if he goes down in the box? (Note: Round your answers down to
the nearest 10 yards.)

7. PROBABILITY (2). Express the statistical probability of visitors to
Old Trafford being awarded a penalty. Compare this with the probability of
opponents of Man Utd being awarded a penalty home or away, and then
discuss if a penalty awarded to Man Utd would be awarded to their
opponents in identical circumstances.

8. BASIC ACCOUNTING (1). Mark The Red lives in Guildford. How
much does it cost for him and his two sons to travel to the Theatre of
Silence every other weekend, including limited edition matchday programme,
a few
drinks and a prawn sandwich all round? How much could he save per week
if he watched his local team instead? (Note; round your answers down to
the nearest thousand pounds.)

9. BASIC ACCOUNTING (2). Alex has a hotel room booked in Cardiff
for the FA Cup Final. How much money will he lose when cancelling his
reservation?

10. WEIGHT AND PRESSURE. Ruud is 6ft tall and very strong and fast.
How much pressure need be applied to make him tumble over in the
opponent's penalty area? (Note: answers should be in lbs per square inch.
However, answers such as "The same pressure as Alex applies to referee"
are acceptable.)

11. MONEY. Juan was a lazy boy and often went missing. Alex was very
cross and wanted to sell him. If Juan cost £28m to buy, how much do you
think Alex sold him for? How many pennies did Alex lose?

12. POULTRY FARMING. What is the total number of chickens counted
before they were hatched by Man Utd and their fans who thought
Southampton were a pushover

13. PROBABILITY (3). Roy can swing his foot at 40 mph; referees can
turn round in 0.6 seconds. If the referee is looking the other way, and an
opponent is 10 yards off, what is the probability of breaking his knee
without the referee noticing?

14. SIMPLE ARITHMETIC. The average Man Utd fan can shriek at 35
decibels; the average visiting supporter can shout at 65 decibels. If,
during a match, 5% of Man Utd fans are munching prawn sandwiches, 10%
are stuck on the M1, 2% are asleep and 15% are still trying to work out
which team is which, how many visitors are needed to out-shout 60,000
reds?