21/05/04 You are what yer drink
Posted: 21 May 2004, 08:10
> Subject: YOU ARE WHAT YOU DRINK - apparently!!
>
>IF WOMEN DRINK
>Drink : Beer.
>Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
>;Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.
>
>;Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella.
>;Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the bum.
>Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
>
>;Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
>Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
>Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.
>
>Drink : Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)
>;Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
>Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
>
>Drink : Bacardi Breezer
>Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated -
>actually
>has absolutely no clue.
>Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.
>
>;Drink : Baileys.
>Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
>Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
>
>;Drink : Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).
>;Personality : Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and
>naked.
>;Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.
>
>IF MEN DRINK - As always, very simple and clear cut.
>
>Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
>
>Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.
>
>Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
>
>Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
>
>Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid
>
>Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
>tWine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a
>sophisticated image and help him get laid.
>
>Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would have sex with a warm
>scarf.;Desperate to get laid.
>
>;Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to
>get laid.
>;
>Whisky : He doesn't give two sh**s about anything and will hit
>anyone who
>will get in his way of getting laid.
>
>Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all
>about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself
>into getting laid.
>
>Tequila : P*** off you w***ers, I'm gonna go sh*g something with a
>pulse.
>
>Bacardi Breezer : He's gay (Blatantly).
>
>
>IF WOMEN DRINK
>Drink : Beer.
>Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
>;Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.
>
>;Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella.
>;Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the bum.
>Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.
>
>;Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
>Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
>Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.
>
>Drink : Wine - (bottled, not 4 litre cask)
>;Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
>Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.
>
>Drink : Bacardi Breezer
>Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated -
>actually
>has absolutely no clue.
>Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.
>
>;Drink : Baileys.
>Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
>Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.
>
>;Drink : Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).
>;Personality : Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and
>naked.
>;Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.
>
>IF MEN DRINK - As always, very simple and clear cut.
>
>Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.
>
>Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.
>
>Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.
>
>Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.
>
>Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid
>
>Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.
>tWine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a
>sophisticated image and help him get laid.
>
>Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would have sex with a warm
>scarf.;Desperate to get laid.
>
>;Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to
>get laid.
>;
>Whisky : He doesn't give two sh**s about anything and will hit
>anyone who
>will get in his way of getting laid.
>
>Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all
>about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself
>into getting laid.
>
>Tequila : P*** off you w***ers, I'm gonna go sh*g something with a
>pulse.
>
>Bacardi Breezer : He's gay (Blatantly).
>
It's an Attitude...NOT a look. I KNOW You Are.... I can tell. 
