THE CHAVS' CHARTER
1. Drop litter - you don't want rubbish in your pockets do you?
2. Replace an adequate and legal exhaust on your car with an inappropriate one and breach the peace with stressful noise polution.
3. Know the price of everything and the value of nothing.
4. Adore brand names and suffocate all opprtunity for real quality to speak for itself.
5. Drag everyone else down at school or work by constantly challenging in a negative way accepted practices.
6. Don't treat McDonalds as an occasional treat or convenience, treat it as a way of life until you become morbidly obese.
7. Watch television rather than living a real life but aspire to showcasing your dysfunction on a chat show.
8. Smoke cigarettes
9. Erode the language with which you were educated to the point that you can no longer remember how to speak properly... After all the best way to articulate yourself is with a gun.
10. Definitly don't develop a spiritual side, death probably doesn't apply to you
- you're there already
someone from the Land of Neds wrote:
1. drive a Saxo or Corsa with all the stick on kits you can get
2. exhausts (see above)
3. have an humungous sound system in your Saxo/Corsa kit combination that goes oomh-oomh-oomh and is as annoying as point 2 (exhausts), but on a lower frequency
4. drink Buckfast (a given)
5. be so excited by Fireworks Night (don't mention Guy Fawkes) that you start the celebration at least 5 weeks before the actual day and continue up to 3 weeks after
6. refer to your father as 'Whit Man?' and your mother as 'Ya Dobber'
7. hang around at park gates/bus shelters/corners in very inclement weather getting soaked
8. take 'Eccys' and listen to dreadful Bosnian Heavy House Cheese
9. chase, catch and beat up Goths
10. call everyone in authority 'chief'
that's all I can think of tonight
©Blast Products 2004
I know you can do better...