08/11/2004

NEW RULES: One thread per day only. If there's a thread for today already started, post on that. And if there isn't? Then you get to start one. Aren't you the lucky one?
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sisxbeforedawn
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 627
Joined: 07 Feb 2004, 20:41
Location: Where the listener comes first

This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half
getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus
and is killed.

At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas
he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat
in
the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes"
answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?" the man asks.

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's
eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch
sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man.

When the smoke clears the man is still alive.
The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks.
"I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."
The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling
tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are
still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The
bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time so he rigs the
chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The bloke is again sat in the chair.

"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says
the condemned man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana.
The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips
the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out
Texas.

When the smoke clears the man is still there smiling in the chair.
The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses.
Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on,
this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair
again.

The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to
the chair,
determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in
the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of
your packed lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it
all, skin included.
The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion
volts go through the chair.

When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a
burn mark. "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How
you can still be alive after all that?"
He stroked his chin."It's something to do with that green banana
isn't it?" he asked.

"Nahh" said the bloke,".....I'm just a really bad conductor."
I met a devil woman, she took my heart away
User avatar
Zuma
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1831
Joined: 24 Jan 2003, 00:36

Had to add this one having checked again recently.... :wink:

"the Sisters play live with alarming regularity. Far too often, according to some folks. "
Todays sarcasm is tomorrow's news
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James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699
Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

groan, boom and indeed boom!
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
Posts: 8844
Joined: 29 Jan 2002, 00:00
Location: Long Dark Forties
Contact:

WHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha....

Hm

;D

Niceone, SBdawn.

Now how am I gonna tell this one to my Dutch colleagues???

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
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User avatar
Ferry H.P.
Road Kill
Posts: 48
Joined: 06 Jul 2004, 14:44
Location: On my checking account.

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:Now how am I gonna tell this one to my Dutch colleagues???
Een 'be-geleider' ??
Ferry H.P.
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