Which is your favourite Jesus?

[hallucienate]

young man!

[Spigel]

The plastic one (sitting on the dashboard of my car)

Or if he's unavailable, this one:

Now that's a jesus I can related to
Oh Happy Day

[markfiend]

I saw a programme on the telly and they pinpointed Jesus's birthdate to April 17th 6AD

How'd they manage that then?

Jesus' first miracle: he was born twice:
According to Luke's gospel, Jesus was born during the Census of Quirinius in 6AD
According to Matthew's gospel, Jesus was born while Herod the Great (who died in 4BC) was on the throne.

Both can't be true...

The historic Jewish one. Not this Roman myth that has given us two thousand years of "Paulianity" and patriarchial oppression.

Who he? Pretty much all we know about him is that he was crucified. The rest is part of the myth.

And there I go, ruining another light-hearted topic.
Hate pm's to the usual address. Thank you.

*ahem* yes, me too.

My favourite too.

[streamline]

I like the dead one nailed to a tree.

A nice guy I'd imagine, but his followers can be the biggest cnuts in the universe.

[Norman Hunter]

Sean Derry, pre-haircut

[Izzy HaveMercy]

IZ.

[bushman*pm]

The Life Of Brian one...

'Right, hands up those who dont want to be crucified next to a Jew?'


God, Schmod, face? bovvered?

[Ramone]

I gotta go with the Easter Sad Christ too. Cos surely being nailed up all over the Easter bank holiday weekend couldn't of been much fun for him.

Out there in the burning sun then the cold and bitter night in just his Y -Fronts and that spikey head band - and to top it all, he didn't even get any easter eggs.

Mind you, he must of been a bit miffed when he woke up in that cave and realised it may of all been a dream. But he got his own back at that meal when he threw that big dinner for all of them and his brid Mary gate crashed it and pissed off millions of scholars years later

Oh and then he got off with out telling anyone and was never seen again - bloody hippy!!

[wild bill buttock]

[aims]

If Jesus came to earth today,
They'd crucify him straight away,
Upon a cross of MDF
And they'd use no need for nails

[scotty]

"...and Jesus came driving along and parked his Car...."

[Obviousman]

"I'm Jesus Christ, whether you want to accept it or not, I don't care"

(as we seem to be doing quotes)

[streamline]

"If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today, he'd be gunned down cold by the C.IA."

[weebleswobble]

[Spigel]

[itnAklipse]

i hate all jesuses.

[smiscandlon]

I called Jesus ... he's not home.

Or possibly just avoiding my calls.

[Arch Deviant]

If Jesus drove a motor home, I wonder would he drive pedal to the metal, or real slow? Checking out the stereo.
Cassette playing Bob Dylan, motivation tapes. Tricked up Winnebago, with the tie-dye drapes. If Jesus drove a motor home...
If Jesus drove a motor home, and he come to your town, would you try to talk to him? Would you follow him around? Honking horns at the drive thru. Double-parking at the mall. Midnight at the Waffle House - Jesus eating eggs with ya'll. If Jesus drove a motor home...
Buddha on a motorcycle, Mohammed in a train. Here come Jesus in the passing lane... but everybody smile, 'cause everybody's grooving. Ain't nothing like the feeling of moving with a bona fide motorized savior. Now if we all drove motor homes, well maybe in the end, with no country to die for, we could just be friends. One world as our highway. Ain't no yours or my way. We'd be cool wherever we roam - if Jesus drove a motor home.

[smiscandlon]

And Jebus is my favourite Jesus anyway.

[mh]

Christ on a bike!!!

[wild bill buttock]

The Crass one - died for his own sins. Not mine

I am no feeble Christ not me. He hangs in glib delight upon his cross, above my body. Christ forgive. FORGIVE? I vomit for you Jesu. s**t forgive. Down now from your cross. Down now from your papal heights, from that churlish suicide, petulant child. Down from those pious heights, royal flag bearer, goat, billy. I vomit for you. Forgive? s**t he forgives. He hangs in crucified delight nailed to the extend of his vision, his cross, his manhood, violence, guilt, sin. He would nail my body upon his cross, suicide visionary, death reveller, rake, rapist, lifefucker, Jesu, earthmover, Christus, gravedigger, you dug the pits of Auschwitz, the soil of Treblinka is your guilt, your sin, master, master of gore, enigma. You carry the standard of your oppression. Enola is your gaiety. The bodies of Hiroshima are your delight the nails are your only trinity, hold them in your corpsey gracelessness, the image I have had to suffer. The cross is the virgin body of womenhood that you defile. You nail yourself to your own sin. Lamearse Jesus calls me sister there are no words for my contempt, every woman is a cross in is filthy theology, in his arrogant delight. He turns his back upon me in his fear, he dare not face me. Fearfucker. Share nothing you Christ, sterile, impotent, fucklove prophet of death. You are the ultimate pornography, in your c**t, cockfear, manfear, womanfear, unfair, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare.
JESUS DIED FOR HIS OWN SINS, NOT MINE.

[Andie]

The Crass one - died for his own sins. Not mine

I am no feeble Christ not me. He hangs in glib delight upon his cross, above my body. Christ forgive. FORGIVE? I vomit for you Jesu. s**t forgive. Down now from your cross. Down now from your papal heights, from that churlish suicide, petulant child. Down from those pious heights, royal flag bearer, goat, billy. I vomit for you. Forgive? s**t he forgives. He hangs in crucified delight nailed to the extend of his vision, his cross, his manhood, violence, guilt, sin. He would nail my body upon his cross, suicide visionary, death reveller, rake, rapist, lifefucker, Jesu, earthmover, Christus, gravedigger, you dug the pits of Auschwitz, the soil of Treblinka is your guilt, your sin, master, master of gore, enigma. You carry the standard of your oppression. Enola is your gaiety. The bodies of Hiroshima are your delight the nails are your only trinity, hold them in your corpsey gracelessness, the image I have had to suffer. The cross is the virgin body of womenhood that you defile. You nail yourself to your own sin. Lamearse Jesus calls me sister there are no words for my contempt, every woman is a cross in is filthy theology, in his arrogant delight. He turns his back upon me in his fear, he dare not face me. Fearfucker. Share nothing you Christ, sterile, impotent, fucklove prophet of death. You are the ultimate pornography, in your c**t, cockfear, manfear, womanfear, unfair, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare, warfare.
JESUS DIED FOR HIS OWN SINS, NOT MINE.

aye...that's how i remember it too

[davedecay]

"Big-Jesus-Trash-Can"


and

"Hat Trick Jesus"


and

"Jackhammer Jesus"

http://divine-interventions.com/

[aims]

Interesting...

[DGP00666]

These two are pretty cool...





Thank you.