23-aug-07

NEW RULES: One thread per day only. If there's a thread for today already started, post on that. And if there isn't? Then you get to start one. Aren't you the lucky one?
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Pat
Slight Overbomber
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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus's in the garage and no more yacht club.But the decision is yours."
Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with Jim?" asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier," she replies.


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Yes, I am on drugs.
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EvilBastard
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Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

A man and his wife are lying in bed one Sunday morning, when she turns to him and says, "Darling, if I died...would you remarry?"
He replies, "Of course not - I wouldn't be able to love another woman the way I love you."
"But I'd want you to be happy, and for the children to have someone that they could call 'mum'."
"Well, in that case," he says, "I guess I could remarry."

"Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
"Absolutely not - the memories that we have shared in this bed are too precious."
"But those memories are such happy ones - and I want you to be happy, even if I'm not with you."
"Well, in that case, I suppose it would be ok."

"Would you let her drive my car?"
"No, I couldn't do that - I remember how your eyes lit up when I gave you the car keys on your birthday. I couldn't imagine another woman driving it."
"But I hate to think of you losing money on the trade - it really doesn't make financial sense to trade it in yet."
"Well, I suppose you're right - ok, I'd let her drive your car."

"Would you let her use my golf clubs?"
"No way - she's left-handed."
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
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smiscandlon
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Pat wrote:Lexus's
Lexi. :wink:
анархия
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6FeetOver
Childlike Empress
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OI, to the lot. :eek: :lol:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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markfiend
goriller of form 3b
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smiscandlon wrote:
Pat wrote:Lexus's
Lexi. :wink:
Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
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Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
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markfiend wrote: Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!

Dan!
...I see a red door and I want it painted black...

;D

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
paint it black
Black, black, black & even blacker
Posts: 4966
Joined: 11 Jul 2002, 01:00

...I see a white belt and I want it painted black...

should've stopped after the fifth :lol: :lol:
Goths have feelings too
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Izzy HaveMercy
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It IS joke of the day, after all ;)

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
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6FeetOver
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...which reminds me of

Mike! Mike! Mike! MikemikemikemikemikemikemikeMIIIIIIIKE!

Or something. :lol:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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James Blast
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nup, nae idea whit yir oan aboot
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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6FeetOver
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Not a Misty, then, eh? Sad. :|
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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James Blast
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not a Scooby :|
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Pat
Slight Overbomber
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Joined: 19 Jun 2005, 22:19

Yesterday, all my bad jokes seemed so far away.
Other posts mean it's here to stay.
I think they should stay ,yesterday.
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6FeetOver
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What's a Scooby?
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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smiscandlon
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SINsister wrote:What's a Scooby?
Scooby Doo = Clue
анархия
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6FeetOver
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My bad - it's actually MSTie. Sorry, folks! :oops: :roll:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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James Blast
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Jezz! I thought you meant you didn't have "Misty Blue"

<insert similar equation to Steven's>
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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6FeetOver
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OI. You lot and your rhyming schemes. I'm gonna have to work on this, I see... :oops:
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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James Blast
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I wish you the Mae West ;D
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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6FeetOver
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Thanks, I'm gonna apple seed it... :|
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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James Blast
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Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else

nup, lost fer stupid, again :|
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
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6FeetOver
Childlike Empress
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:eek: This is gonna require some work, I see...
I left my heart in Ballycastle... :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Izzy HaveMercy
The Worlds Greatest Living Belgian
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SINsister wrote::eek: This is gonna require some work, I see...
Quite simple, both of you just start talking decent English and you'd be surprised how clear it all becomes...

IZ.
.
.
For Greater Good - Ambient Music for the Masses...
.
.
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bushman*pm
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
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Location: THE BLACK HOLE OF LONDON

Izzy HaveMercy wrote:
SINsister wrote::eek: This is gonna require some work, I see...
Quite simple, both of you just start talking decent English and you'd be surprised how clear it all becomes...

IZ.
And it takes a 'Flat-lander' to tell you that!
:lol: :lol: :lol:
bloody septic tanks & sweaty socks!
LAND ROVER: THE BEAST FOUR BY FOUR BY FEAR! KICKS THE ARSE OFF RICEBURNERS!
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