NEW RULES: One thread per day only. If there's a thread for today already started, post on that. And if there isn't? Then you get to start one. Aren't you the lucky one?
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17778 Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
15 May 2009, 07:48
Who is the least opaque robot in the universe?
See Thru P O
Andrew S
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1820 Joined: 05 May 2002, 01:00
Location: Glasgow
17 May 2009, 16:18
Dear oh dear! This one's better:
What's orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot
RIP Dale: 1994 - 2009
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699 Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else
17 May 2009, 17:26
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
DUNG!
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17778 Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21182 Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:
18 May 2009, 12:19
I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here's my handle, here's my...
... other handle?...
... Oh sh!t I'm a sugarbowl!
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
mh
Above the Chemist
Posts: 8157 Joined: 23 Jun 2003, 14:41
Location: A city built on rock 'n' roll
18 May 2009, 13:27
How do you know you have an elephant in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
How do you know you have two elephants in your fridge?
Two sets of footprints in the butter.
How do you know you have three elephants in your fridge?
Three sets of footprints in the butter.
How do you know you have four elephants in your fridge?
You can't fit any more elephants in!
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
jande
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 532 Joined: 06 Mar 2006, 20:16
Location: right a bit, down a bit, Nottingham
18 May 2009, 13:42
mh wrote:
How do you know you have four elephants in your fridge?
You can't fit any more elephants in!
There's a mini parked outside
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
a zebra
Say!
In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17778 Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:
18 May 2009, 16:00
What's blue & smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3937 Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts
18 May 2009, 16:05
Q. What's yellow and dangerous?
A. Shark-infested custard
Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A1. A newspaper
A2. A sunburned zebra
Q. Why do elephants wear pink tennis shoes?
A. The white ones get dirty too fast
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
James Blast
Banned
Posts: 24699 Joined: 11 Jun 2003, 18:58
Location: back from some place else
18 May 2009, 17:12
EvilBastard wrote: Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A1. A newspaper
A2. A sunburned zebra
A3. A stabbed nun
"And when you start to think about death, you start to think about what's after it. And then you start hoping there is a God. For me, it's a frightening thought to go nowhere".
~ Peter Steele
mh
Above the Chemist
Posts: 8157 Joined: 23 Jun 2003, 14:41
Location: A city built on rock 'n' roll
18 May 2009, 17:39
Pista wrote: What's blue & smells like red paint?
Blue paint.
Winner!
If I told them once, I told them a hundred times to put 'Spinal Tap' first and 'Puppet Show' last.
jande
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 532 Joined: 06 Mar 2006, 20:16
Location: right a bit, down a bit, Nottingham
18 May 2009, 22:43
Why do all Communists drink herbal infusions
because all proper tea is theft
Say!
In the dark? Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21182 Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:
19 May 2009, 12:17
What's green and smells of pork?
Kermit's fingers
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell
7anthea7
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1134 Joined: 18 Mar 2006, 01:40
Location: beyond the event horizon
Contact:
20 May 2009, 00:01
markfiend wrote: What's green and smells of pork?
Kermit's fingers
Here in the US, we say '...like bacon'.
Who can begin conventional amiability the first thing in the morning?
It is the hour of savage instincts and natural tendencies.
--Elizabeth von Arnim
markfiend
goriller of form 3b
Posts: 21182 Joined: 11 Nov 2003, 10:55
Location: st custards
Contact:
20 May 2009, 12:46
7anthea7 wrote: markfiend wrote: What's green and smells of pork?
Kermit's fingers
Here in the US, we say '...like bacon'.
You say tomato, I say tomato.
The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt.
—Bertrand Russell