The Great Heartland Biscuit Thread™

Does exactly what it says on the tin. Some of the nonsense contained herein may be very loosely related to The Sisters of Mercy, but I wouldn't bet your PayPal account on it. In keeping with the internet's general theme nothing written here should be taken as Gospel: over three quarters of it is utter gibberish, and most of the forum's denizens haven't spoken to another human being face-to-face for decades. Don't worry your pretty little heads about it. Above all else, remember this: You don't have to stay forever. I will understand.
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17628
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:

iesus wrote:
Pista wrote:
UnnaturalDisaster wrote: Penguins can't fly...
That's what they want you to think ;)
Shh Steve :twisted:
Image
:lol: :notworthy:
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days

TheCureCommunity
User avatar
UnnaturalDisaster
Road Kill
Posts: 94
Joined: 22 Feb 2017, 14:03
Location: Leicestershire
Contact:

iesus wrote:
Pista wrote:That's what they want you to think ;)
Shh Steve :twisted:
Image
Your secret is safe with me. Well, safe-ish.
"This is Jenny. She's the family sadist."
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

So are we having biccie dunking at the next Heartland Meetup? and does that mean we'd be restricted to tea?!?!?!
My life is one long week of stupid clothing benders.
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3934
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:So are we having biccie dunking at the next Heartland Meetup? and does that mean we'd be restricted to tea?!?!?!
Yes. And yes, unless you can come up with a biccie that has been so naughty in a former life that the only appropriate punishment is being dunked in snakebite n'black. Not even Nice biscuits and Lidl Custard Creams deserve that sort of abuse.
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

EvilBastard wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:So are we having biccie dunking at the next Heartland Meetup? and does that mean we'd be restricted to tea?!?!?!
Yes. And yes, unless you can come up with a biccie that has been so naughty in a former life that the only appropriate punishment is being dunked in snakebite n'black. Not even Nice biscuits and Lidl Custard Creams deserve that sort of abuse.
How about Jammie Dodgers?
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17628
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:

Ugh :urff:

Biscuits should be jam-free zones
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days

TheCureCommunity
User avatar
Charlie
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1492
Joined: 27 Mar 2017, 19:12
Location: Yorkshire

What about party rings, not had them in years, they were a strange combo i seem to recall !
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

no. they are not biscuits. they are punishments.

if we're restricted to tea, it can have whisky or brandy added, don't forget. all is not lost.

my nan was good at both of those.
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

emilystrange wrote:no. they are not biscuits. they are punishments.

if we're restricted to tea, it can have whisky or brandy added, don't forget. all is not lost.

my nan was good at both of those.
I like the sound of your Nan. My grandfather put whisky on his porridge, making it nearly eatable.
User avatar
eastmidswhizzkid
Faster Than The Light Of Speed
Posts: 9876
Joined: 24 Mar 2005, 00:01
Location: WhizzWorld
Contact:

because i have no desire to read 11 pages of this undoubtedly ridiculous thread, but also so that i dont feei left out, i just want to say "fuck your biscuit thread and the horse it rode in on!" :P
as you were..... :kiss:
Well I was handsome and I was strong
And I knew the words to every song.
"Did my singing please you?"
"No! The words you sang were wrong!"

:bat:
User avatar
emilystrange
Above the Chemist
Posts: 9031
Joined: 03 Nov 2003, 20:26
Location: Lady Strange's boudoir.

try putting butter in your porridge. totally brilliant.

the very last time i saw my nan was a Christmas Day. i gave her a bottle of brandy. we arrived at the home in time for morning tea/coffee. she opened that bottle and slugged it in her drink quicker than you or i can down a shot. it was brimful - heaven knows how she got it to her mouth without spilling it at the age of 88. practice, i suppose!
I don't wanna live like I don't mind
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

emilystrange wrote:try putting butter in your porridge. totally brilliant.

the very last time i saw my nan was a Christmas Day. i gave her a bottle of brandy. we arrived at the home in time for morning tea/coffee. she opened that bottle and slugged it in her drink quicker than you or i can down a shot. it was brimful - heaven knows how she got it to her mouth without spilling it at the age of 88. practice, i suppose!
That is the secret to living to 88!
SmileySister
Utterly Bastard Groovy Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 683
Joined: 27 May 2015, 20:46

emilystrange wrote:try putting butter in your porridge. totally brilliant.

the very last time i saw my nan was a Christmas Day. i gave her a bottle of brandy. we arrived at the home in time for morning tea/coffee. she opened that bottle and slugged it in her drink quicker than you or i can down a shot. it was brimful - heaven knows how she got it to her mouth without spilling it at the age of 88. practice, i suppose!
Your Nan sounds ace :notworthy:

Confession time - I don't dunk and I rarely eat biscuits

Is this the end of a beautiful friendship EPW & Micro' :?:
User avatar
EmmaPeelWannaBe
Slight Overbomber
Posts: 1610
Joined: 10 Jul 2015, 21:55
Location: San Francisco

SmileySister wrote:
emilystrange wrote:try putting butter in your porridge. totally brilliant.

the very last time i saw my nan was a Christmas Day. i gave her a bottle of brandy. we arrived at the home in time for morning tea/coffee. she opened that bottle and slugged it in her drink quicker than you or i can down a shot. it was brimful - heaven knows how she got it to her mouth without spilling it at the age of 88. practice, i suppose!
Your Nan sounds ace :notworthy:

Confession time - I don't dunk and I rarely eat biscuits

Is this the end of a beautiful friendship EPW & Micro' :?:
Noooooooo... Smiley, say it isn't true! :( :( :(
User avatar
UnnaturalDisaster
Road Kill
Posts: 94
Joined: 22 Feb 2017, 14:03
Location: Leicestershire
Contact:

eastmidswhizzkid wrote:because i have no desire to read 11 pages of this undoubtedly ridiculous thread, but also so that i dont feei left out, i just want to say "fuck your biscuit thread and the horse it rode in on!" :P
as you were..... :kiss:
:lol:

I unleashed a monster.
"This is Jenny. She's the family sadist."
User avatar
Afflikönig
Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 142
Joined: 25 Jan 2017, 23:11
Location: @Afflikoenig

Crisps>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Biscuits
Microcosmia
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 363
Joined: 28 Oct 2015, 02:22
Location: Dublin

SmileySister wrote:
Confession time - I don't dunk and I rarely eat biscuits

Is this the end of a beautiful friendship EPW & Micro' :?:

Not a problem, you can start the Cake thread :lol:
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3934
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Pista wrote:
iesus wrote:
Pista wrote: That's what they want you to think ;)
Shh Steve :twisted:
Image
:lol: :notworthy:
Apparently this is a problem...
Image[/img]
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17628
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:

Where is that? A car park at a Falklands branch of Tesco?
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days

TheCureCommunity
User avatar
EvilBastard
Overbomber
Posts: 3934
Joined: 01 Feb 2006, 17:48
Location: Where the Ruined Tower shouts

Pista wrote:Where is that? A car park at a Falklands branch of Tesco?
It's a sign for the treasure hunt that will form part of the "team building" activities at the inaugural MyHeartland Biscuit, Teacake, and Hot Beverage conference. Have you not received your invitation?
"I won't go down in history, but I probably will go down on your sister."
Hank Moody
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17628
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:

EvilBastard wrote:
Pista wrote:Where is that? A car park at a Falklands branch of Tesco?
It's a sign for the treasure hunt that will form part of the "team building" activities at the inaugural MyHeartland Biscuit, Teacake, and Hot Beverage conference. Have you not received your invitation?
No...... :(


*wibbles bottom lip*
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days

TheCureCommunity
paint it black
Black, black, black & even blacker
Posts: 4966
Joined: 11 Jul 2002, 01:00

EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:So are we having biccie dunking at the next Heartland Meetup? and does that mean we'd be restricted to tea?!?!?!
Clubs are available in green, and fit very well inside a Moscow Mule (sans wrapping)
Goths have feelings too
User avatar
Pista
Cureboi
Posts: 17628
Joined: 25 Jun 2006, 15:03
Location: Lost In A Forest
Contact:

paint it black wrote:
EmmaPeelWannaBe wrote:So are we having biccie dunking at the next Heartland Meetup? and does that mean we'd be restricted to tea?!?!?!
Clubs are available in green, and fit very well inside a Moscow Mule (sans wrapping)
Do they still do the mint clubs?
Cheers.
Steve
Just like the old days

TheCureCommunity
User avatar
Swinnow
Overbomber
Posts: 3551
Joined: 15 Mar 2005, 08:51
Location: In the Gazebo Of Badness, just outside BD3

Lol Mint Club is a nightclub in Leeds btw.

Yeah, they still sell mint club biscuits too, usually swerved for the orange ones instead.
....if I have to explain, then you'll never understand....
User avatar
Chaotican
Gonzoid Amphetamine Filth
Posts: 347
Joined: 21 Nov 2008, 17:48
Location: San Francisco

Mint biscuits? Do you all have Girl Scouts and/or their cookies?

I bought a bunch of thin mint Girl Scout cookies to support them and because conservatives were calling for a Girld Scout Cookie boycott. I will bring a sleeve to the roundhouse in September.
Post Reply